“Really, Caleb? I’m less than impressed with your CPR-inspired pickup line.” All those summers ago it was enough. But, then, all those summers ago we were simply window dressing in each other’s lives. Fall had come, and we were off-season, but clearly Caleb is ready for something more. “How about we don’t?” I maneuver past him to where Reese and Brylee laugh their asses off over something unrelated I’m assuming. Reese has been on cloud nine ever since she saidI doto Ace Waterman—and, Brylee, well, she’s just wasted.
“What the heck was that about?” Demi appears from nowhere with her cool, easy blonde good looks, her wary smile that says I’m disappointed in you, but I still like you. Demi is a well-appreciated asset to this lonely mountaintop town.
I glance around at the party. Lake Loveless isn’t exactly known for its early autumn bashes, but it’s the weekend before homecoming, so everyone from Yeats has come to knock a few back and appreciate the unseasonably warm weather—not to mention the discards of Port have infiltrated basecamp. That happens to be the University that vomited Zoey out.
Speaking of the skank, I scowl over at the skinny blonde. I’ve seen her cozying up to Caleb a time or two, and the thought of her warming his bed at night makes me want to hurl. Just because I’m not ready to go there with him doesn’t mean I want Zoey hopping on board for a free ride.
Caleb and I have always had the very worst timing.
I openly glare at Zoey with a growl working its way up my throat.
“Be nice,” Demi warms my ear with the words. I keep forgetting that Zoey is her sister-in-law now that Demi is married to Gavin.
“I am nice. I’m nice to animals of all sizes and cashiers. It’s humans I don’t care for.” True story. I mostly loathe the human race as a whole, save for a handful of people. I don’t really care if I’m viewed as a bitch. I probably am one, and I take no responsibility for it other than the fact that’s what my mother fashioned me to become. A bitch is a terrible title only if you allow it to be. For some girls it’s a tangible asset they strive for, a crowning achievement that lets them wield a sense of power. I don’t need the world to define me or give me permission to wield my power for that matter. I stopped listening to what the world had to say a long time ago.
“Newsflash”—Demi leans in—“cashiers are humans.”
“Not usually.”
Reese and Brylee saunter over, still high off their irritating level of glee. In the distance I spot my sorority sisters pairing up with their prospects for the night. It seems everyone has their intentions on getting laid—everyone but me.
“What?” I growl as Reese bats those doe eyes at me. Even though Reese and I are related by marriage, we share the same long, dark hair, same cool, gray eyes.
“Relax, Ken.” She gives my arm a shove, jolting me further from my Caleb stupor. “I’m just curious. I saw Mr. Right whispering sweet nothings into your ear—so give it up. What did he say? Maybeyourswill be the next wedding bells we hear.” Reese does a little awkward tap dance as if proving her point. I find it sweet that she truly wants me to have the happiness she’s found with Ace. I find it funny that my stepsister cares so much for me while my real flesh and blood same-father-mother sister cares so damn little. I push Kam back into the dungeon of my mind where she’s been resting quietly for the last four years. I like to keep her there chained on a leash. Had my mother done her that favor long ago, she might have turned out a decent person.
The truth struggles up my throat, and I swallow it back down. “He said he was going to make Zoey scream in bed like a monkey on fire. It was just a fair warning since my bedroom window is across from his.” I cut a quick glance to Demi. “Sorry.”
Caleb has moved into the old Nicholson cabin next door. Although, to be fair, the word cabin doesn’t quite suit any of the luxury McMansions that have sprung up all along the lake. I happened to reside in one myself, along with my mother and stepfather. Reese and Ace stay over on the odd weekend, but only because his sister, Neva, can’t stand the sound of his headboard jackhammering into the wall. It is unnerving to hear your sibling fucking in the next room. I ought to know, no thanks to Reese.
I take a cool sip from the red Solo cup I’ve been nursing for the better half of the night before spitting it out over my shoulder. “Who the hell let a deer piss in my drink?”
Reese narrows in on me. “You’re the one acting like deer piss. What’s the matter with you? That boy has been chasing after you for years. You and I both know you’re more than interested. Why are you sabotaging something that could potentially prove to be a very good thing?”
I glance back at the “very good thing” and my stomach pinches tight once again. His dark hair gleams under the duress of twinkle lights, his sculpted features glow as if he were some otherworldly being, and his dark hooded brows only enhance the glory of those eyes that have the power to hypnotize entire populations. My heart slams against my chest to the rhythm of the obnoxious song blaring overhead. Seeing Caleb in this close proximity jars me, shakes my world like a snow globe exploding with beautiful, sparkling glitter. Caleb has always held a sense of magic for me. I hate that my body has such a visceral response to his.
Caleb has amassed a harem around him. A blonde touches his neck while jabbering into his ear, nonstop. That painted-on smile of hers never leaves her face. The rest of his potential concubines press against him, giving light to the fact he’s about to be overrun by an estrogen-fueled mob. All those girls are interchangeable—one body, many masks. None of them know his intimate kisses, what it feels like to have him give a heavy sigh directly into your mouth because it’s the last kiss for another eternal year. But tonight, Caleb is the center of attention. He’s the “get” of the evening—a trophy that any and every woman would find worthy of their bedroom. The very thought of this makes me want to overturn tables and sock his happy harem in their worn out vaginas.
But as much as I’d like to blame the cunt crowd for my shitty mood, Keith, and Keith alone, is the purveyor of my sour disposition. Scratch that, the aforementioned cunt crowd is still a tad vexing. It’s strange when the truth bubbles from me. I’ve told so many lies to myself, to other people, the misshapen half-truths have woven themselves into one crooked tapestry. It’s hard to distinguish one from the other anymore. When I began this maddening descent into perjury, I was frightened, but the sociopathic after effect of spinning so many deceptive webs is that sometimes I’m euphoric as they spew from my lips. People pride themselves on being good at many things. I sometimes have a sick sense of pride over how well I can remove the truth from the equation without the slightest shred of remorse.
My eyes flit across the throngs of bodies, and Keith catches my eye from across the dark expanse. The sun set hours ago, but the moon has lit up the granite hillsides like electric blue flames. My eyes drift back to Caleb. Deep down I want to believe we could have a very good thing, but, ironically, it’s what Keith and I had that has doused that flame before it could ever burn bright.
“Is something going on?” Brylee follows my gaze. “You’re not thinking about getting back together with that rat bastard are you?”
“He cheated on you,” Reese hisses, and the wind curls the words in my ear like a haunting refrain.
“Once a cheat, always a cheat,” Demi adds like a chorus round.
“I know,” I whisper, taking a step toward him like a dare. I’ve suspected Keith and his cheating ways for quite some time. It was the very reason for our string of serial breakups and reprisals. He denied and apologized, and I took him back. It was the game we played, the one we accidentally perfected. Lather, rinse, repeat. In principle it was the sad glue that held us together.
I’m not sure what happened in my life that made me think this vicious cycle was a good decision, but something about the thought of being on my own, alone, without the love of a man—which I craved more than air—it tormented me far more than the prospect of Keith’s cheating ever did. I blink back to life just as Joanna Knickerbocker wraps her arms around his waist. She was—is—one of his backseat blowjob debutants.
I don’t want Keith Stearns back. Hell, I don’t even want to remember the last four years of our tumultuous relationship. What I do want is my life back. But it’s Keith who’s chained me up, gagged me with the past and is dangling it over my head like a sickle.
Joanna touches her mouth to his ear, whispers something into it, something sexually greedy I’m sure, but his gaze is still fixated on me—his intense hatred matching my own.
Why are you trying to destroy me? I want to shout over the bodies that filter through our impromptu standoff.
We both know it’s me who is going to destroy you.
