“Oh.” That tough girl façade crumbles as she takes them and buries her nose in a bright yellow flower. “I love these. How did you know I love daisies?”
“You’re laying it on a little thick, aren’t you?” I can’t help but give a cheesy grin as I toss her words right back at her.
“You think you’re funny.” She leans up on her tiptoes and dots my cheek with a kiss. “That’s what you get for coming at me like a teenager doing his best to get laid.” Her left brow hooks high into her forehead. “It’s working, by the way.”
Getting laid isn’t on my list, but my body isn’t quite taking it off the table either.
“That’s not what tonight is about,” I whisper into her hair. “Tonight is about demonstrating to you how a gentleman treats a lady.”
Her body presses tight against mine with her stomach grinding against my crotch as if proving her point, and I back off a foot, extending my hand to hers.
“Shall we?”
“We shall.”
I drive the two of us down the dark, dusty roads of Loveless, down the main highway that wraps around the lake until we hit the harbor. The Blue Crab valet takes the car from us as we head inside the upscale establishment with its dark air of mystery, the candles winking in and out, casting the shadow of romance over the establishment. I thread my arm through Zoey’s as the waitress leads us to a table outdoors with a view of the lake. Instrumental soft rock pulls from the speakers, just loud enough to shelter the conversations going on around us.
“Where it all began,” she teases as she leans in close. It’s nice having her, feeling her body pressed to mine, and something about that doesn’t settle well with me.
We put in our orders and sip white wine as I try my best to get to know her better. Each one of my questions as milquetoast as the last. In no way do I want to bring up her past. I’m not pouring salt into the wound. I’m suturing it as crudely and best as I can.
“My turn.” Zoey’s eyes sparkle like champagne. Her entire face lights up the night sky, mesmerizing me. “But first, thank you for being so gentle with me.” Her cheeks deepen with color. “Not once have I ever had a man take the time to get to know me.” She shakes her head at the idea, blinking back tears. “And strangely, it feels as if I’ve known you my whole life.”
I nod into the idea. It’s true. There is a familiarity about Zoey, something more than our Loveless connection, and perhaps it’s our ironic loveless connection that might just have welded our lives together from the start.
“I feel the same.” I reach over and take up her hand without hesitating. “You feel like family.” There. As much as my body wants to give her the green light, my mind very much wants to convey the fact this is simply a demonstration, a simulation of what a real date should be like. I stare down at our intertwined fingers and startle back to life before carefully withdrawing my hand.
“Hey, I liked that.” She clamps over my fingers once again. “Besides, I don’t remember holding hands with anyone before. Not outside of a bedroom anyway.” A look of mild disgust rolls over her face. “But like I said, it’s my turn to ask the questions.” Her eyes bear into mine as if she just put out a warning. Something tells me her line of interrogation will be anything but milquetoast. “When do you think it all went wrong for you?”
Crap. “I don’t want to go there. Elizabeth isn’t invited to dinner.” I offer a tight smile and wink. But as playful as I meant for that to be, I can’t help but feel as if I’ve just summoned a devil by saying her name out loud. It echoes in my mind far too long after I’ve spoken it, and I’d love nothing more than to bottle it up and throw it into the deepest part of that lake.
“Not her.” Zoey’s brows furrow as if I’ve just fouled up the air. “Withyou. You know, it’s never a relationship that kills us. It’s the expectations we had. Don’t you think so?”
My heart stops for a moment. This beautiful woman has just stunned me with her mind.
“I agree. When did it start with you?” But she’s forgetting who she’s dealing with. I’m a master at deflecting a line of questioning. It’s what I do for a living—diddo.
“When my parents died.” Her gaze drifts into the blackest part of the forest behind me. Zoey takes a breath as if readying for what comes next. “I was a daddy’s girl. I was in love with my mother, too, but my dad called me his princess. I was so special to him. I think it would kill him all over again to see what’s become of me.” A single tear rolls down her cheek, a falling star seeded with her misery, and I reach over and catch it, press it to her lips, and she gives a little laugh.
“That’s not true, Zoey, and you know it. He loved you unconditionally. He would be proud of you. He would encourage you to continue doing what you love. He would want you to go on with your life, be that school or work, whatever makes you happy. He might even want to kick your brother’s ass a bit for not being there for you.” I come to an abrupt stop, unsure of why I ever let those last few words from my mouth.
Zoey startles and blinks over at me as if I’ve just sprouted a third eye. “You know, I guess in a way you’re right—about how my dad would feel. I know both he and my mom would want me to be happy, to kick myself back into gear. But you’re wrong about Gavin. He tries his best, but I keep pushing him off.” She wipes down her face, slicked with silent tears. “I’ve never been a fan of dragging him into my misery.”
“Did the two of you ever share your pain after your parents’ passing? Did you go to counseling? Who was in charge?”
“Gavin was in charge. He went straight into parent mode, and no, we never cried too much after they were gone. We were all we had, and we wanted to survive. Gavin dove right into the lumber business. He’s helped with my financial needs at Port, with what my scholarship doesn’t cover. There’s no way I would burden him with my mess. And now he has a baby on the way. That hour of grieving my parents has long since passed. Gavin and I had to lick our wounds quickly. So how about you, Mister Powerful Attorney? Something must have turned you on your head long beforeLizground her high heel through your heart.” She bites down on the beginnings of a crooked smile as if she were shy to go there, and I find it endearing as hell.
“My parents’ divorce.” I’m shocked at how easily the answer came. I search my mind for a time when Elizabeth and I ever discussed anything so deep and come up empty. My parents’ divorce was mentioned once in passing upon our first or second date and never again revisited, and here Zoey is knifing past all of my formidable layers and cutting to the quick of what’s molded me into the disaster I am today. “I guess it affected me more than I gave it credit. My mom and dad are about as opposite as opposites can be.”
“Like you and me.” She gives a playful wink.
“Not true. You and I are frighteningly alike. My parents are from different planets.” I leave my mother and her past as the clutter queen out of it for now. “But my dad has moved on. I think it was hard for me to see him with other women. I didn’t get why it stung so much when I was a kid, but in a way, it felt as if none of us were good enough for him. I wondered how long it would be before he found replacements for my brothers and me as well. Anyway, we survived.”
“But really you didn’t. You took something from that experience, and it shaped whatever happened between you and that Elizabeth girl.” There is something charming, ever so disarming to hear Zoey call herthatElizabeth girl. The egotistical part of me cheers the thought of reducing Elizabeth to something menial, not even worthy enough for her name to stand on its own.
“I guess it did. I guess in the back of my mind I always thought I might be replaced.” And I was. Then why the hell did I find it so shocking? So fucking offensive?
I offer a tight smile Zoey’s way as the music seems to grow in both volume and intensity.
