“Anyone ever tell you how cocky youare?”
“Only you, and I know you loveit.”
Now it’s my turn to laugh, but I don’t—because maybe he’sright.
I nuzzle my head over his shoulder as we walk slowly all the way to the Briggs ApartmentBuilding.
* * *
When I was a little girl,I always envisioned that romance would blossom one day through a steady stream of chocolate boxes and flowers. I thought it would be love at first sight for the both of us—an instant unbreakable connection. I thought we’d be inseparable, engaged right off the bat, and married as soon as legally possible. I never envisioned it growing slowly like a seed—someone who would come into my life with eyes the color of a young evening sky. Someone who my brothers would forbid me from even looking at with unchaste intentions. And yet here he is. Seth Baker. My insides twist in a knot for even allowing myself to let my feelings run wild. And yet I’ve always relished being near him—yearning for his company like a seedling yearns for the warmth of the sun, his every word and encouragement has become the water I’m so thirsty for. I’m tired of putting on a façade—a show for my brothers who were never even in the room when I was busy holding Seth off at an arm’s length. I’m done putting on a show just to demonstrate my silent solidarity to the two of them. Seth is a decent guy. A nice guy. Perhaps even theperfectguy. And just the thought that Serena might end up with him makes my stomach turn. Not that Serena doesn’t deserve to be happy. And if she landed someone like Seth, she’d be more than happy. If she landed Seth himself, well, I don’t know ifIcould ever truly be happy for either ofthem.
Seth turns on the television, and I curl up on his couch with a knitted throw he has slung over the back. He called in a pizza on the walk over, and it arrived just as we were making our way to thedoor.
“Here you go.” He hands me an oversized plate with four pieces on it and sets the box on the table in front ofus.
“Wow, I keep this up and I really will be the size of a house.” I take an indulging bite and moan my way through it. “Oh my God, I couldn’t care less how big I’m going to get. I need this pizza in me stat.” I take a few more devouring salty bites, and he laughs as he plunks down next to me with his own plate in hand. “So, did you win the game by a landslide?” I ask through amouthful.
“Thanks to your brother. I didn’t do so badeither.”
“Taking the humble approach, huh? That’s a new one for you. I bet it doesn’t feel good,” I tease. “I bet you want nothing more than to tell me how you landed the winning shot, and all the cheerleaders hopped on the Seth Express and wrapped their legs around you.” A bite of jealousy rips through me as I hook my gaze to his. Seth Baker has a way of looking at you and making you feel as if you were the only girl alive. I’ve never understood that art myself. What’s the point? Is he really trying to bed every girl on the planet? Knowing Seth, the answer is a definiteyes.
“For your information, I did score the winning shot.” He gulps down the rest of his slice and puts down his plate, scooting in just a notch. “And there might have been a few girls interested in my moves.” He holds his forefinger and thumb at a small distance andwinces.
“Oh,you.” I do my best to inhale all four slices and succeed in record time before setting down my own plate. “You know, I never thought I’d say this, but I think I’m actually going to buy a can or twelve of anchovies next time I’m at the grocerystore.”
“Way to put the gross in grocery store.” He flips the remote through a few different channels, and we settle on a sci-fi movie we’ve both been dying to see, only for some reason it doesn’t have the power to hold my attention. My gaze keeps flitting back to Sethinstead.
“I told someone,” Iwhisper.
“You did?” He leans in, his dark, thick brows arched heavy with concern, and it melts me just thinking that Seth actually cares so much. And then a far more realistic thought occurs to me. Seth cares for me because I’m like his sister. Of course, he’s going to be concerned. We’re family. We’ve practically been family for years. “So, who’d you tell?” His arm flexes over the sofa behind me, and I curl in until I’m sheltered under the protection of hiswing.
“Izzy.” I stop shy of revealing the entire truth. I’m not sure how he’d feel if Misty knew. But in a way, it feels as if admitting that I told Misty would be tantamount to telling the world, and I don’t want to pop this bubble Seth and I are living in at the moment. “She gave me the name of a doctor, and I’ll call as soon as possible to try to see him.” I glance down at my stomach, totally distended, no thanks to the salty Italian onslaught I sent forth. “I guess I owe it to Fred to give him or her a fair shot atlife.”
“Excuse me. Did you sayFred?” He ticks his head back. “We’re not calling it Fred. Not even in your belly for five minutes. We’ll scar that poor kid forlife.”
“We?” I giggle up at him and scoot in a touch closer, the scent of his cologne hypnotizing me. Seth has always been a little like a snake charmer, disarming me with his eyes. I guess that would make me the cobra, and that’s pretty laughable in and of itself. I’ve never been the snake in the grass type of a girl. But maybe if I were, Seth and I would have been a couple by now, and I wouldn’t have another guy’s baby tucked deep inside my body. “All right. What shouldwecall it? And by the way, Fred is a greatname.”
“It might be, but Peanut, Bean, Anchovy—just about anything is better than Fred. It’s too serious. This kid is going to be fun. He or she is going to begreat.”
I bite down hard on my bottom lip to keep my emotions in check. I pretty much run hot and cold these days, no in-between, and right now the faucet is leaning toward the waterworks. “Anchovy, huh? It does have a tendency to make my mouth water. But it’s a little greasy fish.” I shake my head withdisapproval.
“Hmm.” His brows do that sexy hard V thing, and my face inches closer to his just to get a better look. “I think you’re onto something. How about LittleFish?”
“Aw! Little Fish! I love it. Little Fish for the win.” I run my finger over the stubble on his face without thinking and pull back as if I just stuck a fork in a socket. “Sorry.”
“No, that’s fine.” He picks up my hand and rubs the back against his cheek. “Sandpaper,right?”
“Yeah.” My voice drops to a whisper. “Sandpaper.” I’ve been waiting,wantingto do just that for the better half of a decade, and it felt just as amazing as I thought it would. I’ve always been fascinated by the stubble that peppers his skin. Of course, I knew him when his face was as smooth as a baby’s bottom. Speaking of which, I glance down and press my lips tight. “I don’t know what to do, Seth. I’m so confused. Why did my mom have to go and die? Why did the universe take her and leave someone as ridiculous as me on the planet who can’t even pull off a one-night stand without direconsequences?”
“Hey—I’m here for you, and I mean it.” Seth secures his arm around my shoulders, and I lean my head over his chest, just gazing up at those cut cheeks, those lips that look soft enough to kiss. Damn biology. I’ve read all about the horny hormones that have been known to drive pregnant women pornographically wild right up until the bitter end. I’ve even read stories of women begging their husband for orgasms right there in the delivery room. There is no way on this planet I’m going to be begging for delivery room sex. That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heardof.
A brief yet highly detailed vision of Seth moving on top of me while straddling a gurney flits through mymind.
Seth sucks in his bottom lip, and that tender spot between my thighs begins to quiver. Oh hell, maybe just a quickie. I gulphard.
“Are you keeping the baby?” A dry smile comes and goes, and suddenly Seth looks as if he’s got a stake in this childhimself.
“Yes.” I give a hard blink. “I mean, no. I mean, I’m not sure.” I shake my head, thoroughly confused, which is basically the new normal. “I’m going to have it. This child is coming into this world whether I like it or not, and honestly, I haven’t decided which.” My hand falls over my stomach the way it’s prone to do when I’m alone, and I blink up at Seth with the twinge of a shy smile. “I think I’ve decided which.” I give a little shrug. “I can’t help it, though. It’s a baby. It’smybaby. I haven’t even seen it or heard its heart beat, but I’m in love with it.” My voice breaks. “I’m so in love with it I can’t imagine giving it to strangers.” That last part comes out with tears. “And yet I’m too afraid to keep it. What if I accidentally do something wrong? I don’t even know how to hold a baby, let alone be in charge of one twenty-four seven.” My voice comes out whining and pathetic. It’s a wonder if he’s not plotting on giving me the boot. “I don’t want to give up my baby, Seth. But I don’t think there’s any otherway.”
