Brody kisses me just the way Idemanded.
Hard and like he meansit.
I’m so in love with Brody Wolf. I just wish I had the lady balls to rip the lid off this covert relationship we’re keeping from the world. Baby steps. And something tells me kissing Brody right here at The Pelican is the biggest step of themall.
On Saturday night,the holiest of date nights, I insist that Low, Lex, and I ditch our very amply endowed and date-worthy men and head for downtown Jepson where there are plenty of amply endowed men for us to gawk at from afar. Sometimes you just need to cut loose a little and have a naughty night out with your girls. I’ve outfitted Lex with a tiny tiara with a wedding veil attached and slapped a banner over her chest that readsBridezilla-to-be. Of course, she tried to quickly dislodge the festive accouterments, but I threatened her with a karaoke number at the reception so she’scomplying.
“Gimme a round of Wallbangers!” I shout up over the rock music at the scantily clad waitress with her bare midriff, her bra nothing more than a glitterypasty.
I’ve scored us a table near the front—all the way to the left near the restrooms per Lex’s hygienic request. To her point, the women’s restroom here can fill up quickly, and imbibing usually leads to a hell of a lot of potty runs. Lex has graciously decided to break her zero tolerance for alcohol rule and is participating in the downing of libations. Low is already whooping and hollering with the best of them, and we’ve yet to enjoy a single round. It’s a safe bet to say this night is already asuccess.
“I hate you for this,” Lex gnarls at me from across thetable.
“Yes, well, my hairless kitten hates you right back. You do realize that regrowth should have been flagrant by now, and I’m still as bald as a baby’sbottom.”
Low cringes. “When you get down to it, nobody likes a hairless cat. Hey, remember that time Lex flashed usher—”
I hold up a hand to stop the memory. It’s true. Lex wasn’t always so keen on keeping it neat andtrim.
Lex leans in as we all pick up our glowing pink shot glasses. “You know what else Ihate?”
“I’ll take a stab at it.” I wet my lips with the harsh concoction. Dear sweet Lord, this can peel the varnish right off the table. “Everything and everyone?” I bat my lashes at the queen of all things caustic. But as mean as she is, Lex is equally as beautiful. She’s the only person I know who can get away with fuchsia lipstick on theregular.
“The fact I lied to my soon-to-behusband.”
Low shrugs. “I may have told Levi we were probably heading to themovies.”
“And I lied to mine for sure.” I give a little wink, but I’m warmed from head to toe over the fact Brody and I are the real deal. “I told Brody we were headed to the Black Bear for dinner and drinks. I don’t think it’s really that far of a stretch. Have you seen those frat boys at the Black Bear? Trust me, there are at least six of them stripping as we speak. Speaking of which.” The music picks up, and the lights dim as the boys on stage do their thing, rocking and swaying and stripping off their shirts, gyrating their banana hammocks with impressive thrusts that look both lethal and promising. My next task will be to gift Brody a banana hammock of his own. Although, if we’re being honest, his banana hammock thrusting maneuvers caused my brand new love glove quite a bit of pain. I mean, I knew my body would have to adjust to his size, but the fire that boy invoked quite literally really threw me for a sexual loop. For a second there, I could see the appeal of being anun.
“To love.” I hold up the Wallbanger and Low follows suit, but Lex is slow to meet her glass with ours. “May you and Axel share many, many years stripping and thrusting in thebedroom.”
“Cheers!” Low whoops so loud her voice pierces right over themusic.
“I hate you both!” Lex tips her head back and laughs as the three of us down our drinks and let out a hard yelp inunison.
“Ladies down in front.” The lead stripper with the construction helmet and tool belt stomps ourway.
“Oh no.” Lex shakes her headfrantically.
“Oh, come on!” I give her a shove in his direction. “This night practically warrants this. You’ll be an old married woman soon and never see the inside walls of this placeagain.”
“I can only dream!” she shouts as the dirty yet impeccably endowed carpenter drags her up on stage, and Lex attempts to bat him off all the way. “Looks like I’ve got a little naughty vixen on my hands. Boys”—he looks over his shoulders at the police officer and the biker—“why don’t you round up those pretty little friends of hers? I have a feeling they all need to learn a littlelesson.”
Low stomps her feet with glee, and who could blame her? That shirtless cop is about to arrest her. She holds her hands out and crosses her wrists. And I can’t help but laugh. Levi really is one lucky bastard. Low would never put up a fight when she knows what’s coming. And just the thought of my brother gifting Low anything on a sexual level makes me want togag.
The sexy biker wraps his chains around my own wrists, and before I know it, Low and I are up on stage, the bright lights in our eyes, and each with a sexy steed toride.
The music hits its porn crescendo as the boys—pardon me, men bend us over their knees and offer up a light bum tap that sends Low and me into a giggling tantrum and Lex into a conniption. I would give both my big toes if I could get my hands on footage from the chitty chitty bang bang action going on up here. Honest to God, my cheeks are going to be so rosy Brody will think I powdered them just for him. I close my eyes for a moment and envision Brody up here doing this exact thing to me, and it ratchets the excitement level up about ten dangerous climacticnotches.
The crowd goes wild as if Mr. Banana Hammock himself just unleashed a serpent into the wild, but my lids remain sealed as thoughts of Brody bending me over his knee takes over. I’m so darn aroused that I’m going to explode all over him once I walk through that door tonight. In fact, I think I’ll honor Lex’s request and cut the melee short tonight. I’ve got someplace to be, and it isn’t here. I have a feeling once the girls and me are returned to our proper owners, a good time will be had byall.
A light tap lands on my shoulder, and I look up tofind—
“Brody?” I eject myself from the oily biker and wrap myself around my dream man like a leash. I don’t know if it’s the alcohol or my sheer willpower to have him manifest before me, but my mouth seals over his and the inertia I put into that kiss sends him stumbling backward. He’s mumbling something, moaning, gripping me by the arms, and if I were a betting woman, I’d think he were trying to pry me off ofhim.
And just like that, a strong pair of arms do just that as I fly backward into Low while I watch in horror as Levi pulls back and decks Brody right over thejaw.
The crowd gasps, and Low and I scream in unison. It takes a second for me to see that Lex is safe in Axel’s arms. Hell. The boys must have gotten wind of this—I’m looking at you,Lexy—and now Levi and Brody are brawling on the floor like wild bears onfire.
