Mom jumps in front of me and snags Nathan from my arms. “Don’t you take these babies away from me!” she growls right in his face, and he begins to sputter andcry.
“Give him back.” I take the baby from her and give a quick once-over to the kitchen, every last cabinet unsuspecting of what’s about to befallit.
Drake and Ethan grunt their way out the back patio door with a five-foot long cooler betweenthem.
Bree hurdles it with a giant grin on her face as she speeds her way over. “You guys should totally stay with me! It’ll be like one big slumberparty!”
My mouth opens as I glance to Gage. “Actually, thanks for the offer, but Logan’s already gone through the trouble of getting Whitehorse ready for us.” Not to mention the fact Mom, Tad, Misty, and Beau are staying in the mobile home with them. It’s cozy, yet cold, and no matter how many times Bree tells me it’s a two bedroom, I’ve yet to find that secondroom.
“Ooh!” Her brows waggle as if the fact we were staying at Whitehorse was salacious news on some level. “Just the two of you in that big ol’ house?Lizbeth”—she barks, and both Nathan and I straighten—“get ready to welcome baby number three in about nine months fromnow!”
Tad limps over from the kitchen with his face contorted as if he’s just had a stroke. “Not on my watch!” He jams his finger toward Gage’s crotch, and suddenly I’m fearing for far more than my future prospective children. Swear to God, if he touches my man’s lightning rod, I will rain down hell on the Landon house the likes of which it has never seen. I’ll make sure that entire burn unit scenario he underwent last winter is looked upon longingly once I’m through. “Put a sock on it this time, would you? Or better yet, keep it in your pants! You’ve already doubled the trouble to this household. There’s noway—”
Mom is quick to karate chop his dangling appendage, and Tad lets out a yelp. “What he’s trying to say is”—she bats her lashes at the two of us manically because she’s mortified to be married to him for once—“we would welcome another delicious Oliver baby with open arms!” She scoops up Barron’s foot and pretends to gobble it up, which only reduces him to the most adorable husky gurgles. “You have the yummiest corn niblet toes! Yes, you do!” She dives for Nathan’s feet, and he wisely retracts while laughingwildly.
Bree bats her away as she steps in close. “You’re welcome, and your babies are welcome, too. Besides, we need to get together and plan my big night out. It’s not every day a girl getshitched.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” Drake howls as he and Ethan file back in. “I keep telling her we’ve already done thisshit.”
“Oh hush, you.” Mom all but gives Drake the finger. “You’ve already deprived us of one wedding. Don’t you dare deprive us of another. In fact, you’re welcome to have both the ceremony and reception right here at thehouse.”
“No way, no how. We’ve already gone around the thorny block,” Tad barks while arranging the miniature vaginas on the table that both he and Mom are equally obsessed with as of late. “Of course, a monetary incentive could easily change my mind. In that case, the offer is very much stillopen.”
Bree grunts at herbother-in-law. “Like we said, Drake and I have already paid Logan for the whole thing. Besides, if I were to have it here, I’d have to remodel this entire kitchen with top-of-the-line appliances, redo these grotesque floors, and put in marble or gleaming hardwood, and don’t get me started on the furniture. Logan’s place is alreadyupdated.”
Something a little more aggressive than a hiccup comes from Tad as he gallops forward. “New furniture? Say, like a comfy new recliner for yours truly?” Saliva wets his lips and—dear God, did Tad justdrool?
Mom joins her shoulder to his. “A completeremodel?”
“Oh,yes.” Brielle is emphatic as she picks up Beau, spanks his bottom, then puts him back down. “I’m talking crème de la crème, luxury all the way. That’s why Silent Cove is so perfect. Plus, Logan said he’d help hire the very same caterer Laken and Cooper used lastsummer.”
Tad leans in as an anguished cry escapes him. “But, but—what about the remodel?” The cords in his neck distend with frustration. “You can even gut the bathrooms if you like. You can put in side-by-side gold thrones! Think about it, kids. His and hersflushers. Think of the toilet paper races, the beautiful bonding that an experience like that can affordyou!”
Gage and I share agrimace.
“And on that note.” I pull Mom and her ever-present fake mole in for a quickkiss.
Tad chokes as if he’s got a chicken bone lodged in his throat. “We’re not done here! Look at all the goodies we can hand out.” He waves over the table of mini vajayjays, and Mom and I shudder at the sametime.
Bree scoops up a handful of the tiny pink treasures with their tiny pearls embedded over that sweet spot that Gage has memorized oh sowell.
“Yes, to the goodies—no, to the venue. I’m staying strong with SilentCove.”
“Sorry, Pops.” Drake whacks Tad over the shoulder and brings him back to life. “I’ll catch you on the nextwedding.”
Bree is quick to smack him. “This whole thing is a pain in the ass for poor Logan to plan out. We’re not having anotherwedding.”
“Not with you I’m not.” They take off, and Gage and I set out to do the same. Just as we almost make a break for it, Em barrels out of her room and knocks intoGage.
“Whoa.” He manages to swing Barron out of the way just in time because he’s amazing like that. Gage Oliver is truly my hero. As much as I don’t like what Demetri has essentially trapped him into doing, I appreciate the fact he’d lay his life and soul down for the boys. I didn’t think I could love him any more than I already did, but I sure as helldo.
“Where are you off to?” Em slits those aggressively bored eyes ourway.
“Whitehorse,” I’m quick to offer. “And you andEthan?”
“My folks’.” She frowns as if this isn’t a good thing. “Ember is scared shitless of the place, so we’re leaving her in the trailer.” No sooner does she say it than little Ember runs outscreaming.
“Mee-Maw!Tampon!”
