“I’m not forgiving you because there’s nothing to forgive. You could latch yourself to a thousand blondes in a single night, and I’d still know that you love me. I’m not the same insecure little girl who dumped you all those years ago. I’m not afraid of people leaving me. I’m not afraid that you’ll leave me. And if you do, I know that I would beokay.”
His eyes bear hard into mine, and I feel that erotic gaze right down to my core. Axel is penetrating me far more intimately than he ever has before. These truths have incubated for six long years, and here they were being birthed at the same table—the nexus of where webegan.
A lump the size of the planet lodges in my throat, and I power pastit.
“I may not be okay—but in a weird way that would be okay, too.” I shrug. “I don’t have all the answers.” A searing tear spills from my left eye like a betrayal. “I’m still in love with you, Ax. I don’t know why or how, but in a world where I cut off everyone who isn’t family, you always seem to buoy to the surface of my heart. You must be the family I’m seeking out.” I lean in, and he does the same. A smile flirts with his lips, and I’m enamored with it, with him. “I love you, Axel Collins. I love you with my entire being. I don’t want to hold onto all of the anger and the hurt anymore. You’re not my mother. You didn’t leave me. You went to school, to get an education, to better yourself. And if you wanted to get laid by a blonde while we were unofficial, I shouldn’t hold it againstyou.”
He gives a brief nod. “Only that’s not what happened.” Tears well up in his own eyes, but Axel holds strong. “She was my buddy’s roommate. It was her birthday. We met. He was there. Nothing happened. She went off with her friends to get wasted, and I spent the next six years pining after the woman I loved—still do. That would be you in the event you didn’t connect thedots.”
“I’m not an idiot.” I bite down on my lower lip, my chest lightening with relief as all of those toxic layers strip away. Axel’s truths were like varnish remover, chipping away all of the grime, the tyranny of thepast.
“But you can bestubborn.”
“As hell.” I raise my glass, and we bothlaugh.
“As hell.” He shakes his head and pulls my hand to his lips. “Are we backon?”
“I don’t know.” A mean shiver runs through me, and I watch as his affect dissipates to nothing. “I’m not sure we were ever truly off. There’s a reason I was never with another man after you.” I gird myself as the words come bubbling up my throat. “I never really considered us over. You were always mine,Ax.”
He needles me with a laser precision. “And you were always mine.” He leans over the table and offers up a chastekiss.
“That’s a start.” We share a rumbling laugh with enough heat to set this entire bar onfire.
Serena takes our orders, and we talk for an hour straight, mostly about Emilia, mostly about how happy she madeus.
“Remember that time she was angry with you?” I ask, trying to recall the exact reason her anger wassponsored.
“I let her know her boyfriend was abuffoon.”
I slap my hands together in victory. “That’s right! She said the two of you got into it, and it turned into aphysicalaltercation.” I laugh so hard I’m wheezing. My chest seizes with every other breath. “I’ll never forget how wildly pissed shewas.”
“She pulled my hair so hard I had a bald spot for a month.” He cups the back of his head, and tears come to the party right along with the laughter. “It’s good to see you happy again.” He pulls my hands forward, and the moment grows serious. “Let’s get out of here,Lex.”
Axel throws a wad of cash down onto the table, and we say goodbye toSerena.
We get outside, and the sun is already starting toset.
Axel glides his finger gently over my cheek, and I pull him in and kiss the tip. “Whereto?”
“I think there’s only one place we cango.”
“Iagree.”
* * *
Axel doesn’t even ask.He simply drives us up the switchbacks, to the overlook, to the Witch’s Cauldron. It shouldn’t surprise me that we know one another so well. It seems that even when we were at our worst we had the same mind, same destructive thoughts about ourselves. I truly believe that there isn’t another person on the planet who could have healed me, watched me so patiently heal, other thanAxel.
He parks between the overlook and the Witch’s Cauldron, and we get out looking left then right wondering which way to gofirst.
He takes up my hand and gently threads our fingers. “How about we rewrite a bit of history?” We walk down toward the hot spring while the scent of fresh evergreens permeates the cool autumn air. A bed of dried pine needles crunch under our feet as we step softly to the spring with its rocky border. The cauldron itself is oblong—God’s natural hot tub, and for as much as I’ve detested frolicking in nature, I’ve been known to sneak off on my own, roll up my jeans, and dip my feet in the heatedsplendor.
We step just shy of the hot spring, and I pull him in. Axel Collins has always had the most mesmerizing eyes—glowing, serious, mysterious. But my favorite part about them—abouthim—has been his ability to really see me—not in the natural, but in the supernatural. Axel sees me right down to my deformed soul. And he has never judged me for who I am at the core. In a weird way, he’s celebratedit.
I press a quiet kiss to his lips, and we linger a moment. “So here we are. The perfectplace.”
“Anyplace with you is perfect.” His arms circle me as my body adheres to his chest. “I love you, Lex.” He bears into me with thunderous intensity, and I feel his sincerity right down to my marrow. “I’m going to love you for the rest of my life. You can’t stopme.”
A small laugh trembles from usboth.
