“Last room on the right.” I clutch the pink panda a bit tighter as my nerves ratchet up, because for one I haven’t exactly clued Levi here in on my little plan. I bite down hard over my bottom lip and damn near draw blood as we land at the last room on the right—pausing a moment to take a breather. I look up and get lost in Levi Masterson’s velvet gaze, those lips that look like they were born for trouble and perhaps munching on the most magnificent of allmeals—me.
I shake the thought out of my head. What the hell am I thinking? Damn hormones. In fact, this entire place is leaching hormones. It’s that whole cycle-sister thing on steroids. My ovaries are practically hostage to their unnatural desire to get sprayed by Levi’s babybatter.
“You ready to do this?” I whisper, unsure myself whether or not I’m indeed ready. He gives a solemn nod as his chest widens in girth with his next breath. “Okay then. If anyone asks—my name is Evie Slater.” A name that I completely made up on the fly. Come to think of it, a little Google Fu might have been beneficial in the event Evie Slater does exist and has a burgeoning career in the porncircuit.
“What?” His eyes grow wide with horror and you’d think I just suggested he sever off his dick as a show of affection for the happy couple judging by how both frightened and baffled heappears.
“Just follow my lead.” I give a gentle knock to the door and yank him into the roomwithme.
“Come in!” An older version of my best friend hovers just this side of a shower curtain billowing like a cloud. Her eyes go straight to her poor cuckold son. This may not be nineteenth century England, but the archaic word adds a sad old-world charm to the family saga unfolding around us. And face it—cuckoldsounds a hell of a lot nicer thanfucked over by his wife and brother. “Oh my God,youcame!”
“Who is it, Mom?” a decidedly female voice calls from the other side of the shower curtain divide, and Levi’s jaw tightens. That must be his ex. The audacity she has to call herMom! I don’t care if she’s sleeping with an entire fleet of Masterson boys. Once you break your husband’s heart by letting his brother dip his wick into you, it’s right back to formal monikers as far as the in-lawsgo.
“It’s Levi!” His mother goes pale as she examines me from head to foot. Come to think of it, perhaps a tight red bandage dress coupled with my best kicks wasn’t exactly maternity suiteattire.
“Oh, for God’s sake”—his ex cries out in exasperation—“open the curtain. There’s nothing here he hasn’t seenbefore.”
The curtain whooshes open, obnoxiously loud and thrashing, as a petite woman in scrubs whistles right by us. But it’s not the shrill of the curtain, or the tiny nurse that has me frazzled—it’s the fact there is a very spread eagle, very vaginally damaged woman waving cheerily to us from the head ofthebed.
“Don’t mind me. I busted a stitch last night. The little shit split me in two like she was driving a Mack truck right out ofmyass.”
“Holy hell,” I whisper. My gaze is still locked on her swollen and bloodied, battered and bruised—and have I mentioned bloodied—lady parts that look as if they were sewn together by Dr. Frankensteinhimself.
“What’s this?” the girl chirps. “Is this aguest?” She says guest as if it were a four-letterword.
Everything in me freezes as she inspects me with a self-righteous glare. Oh my God, oh my God! Pull it the hell together! I take a sharp breath and command myself to look away from the carnage. She probably deserved to have a Mack truck driven through her lady parts, and I’m pretty sure that by “little shit” she was referencing the baby she just brought into this world. I’d venture to guess she hasn’t spent enough time with the little babe in question to properly assert such a vitriolic nickname, but I’d also venture to guess if given enough exposure to her mother’s charms for the next fifteen years or so that nickname might applyjustyet.
“Evie Slater,” I say it loud enough for all to hear, and Levi’s head spins my way as if it were on a swivel. I’m quick to take up his hand and draw it close. “I hope you don’t mind. Levi here brought me along for the ride. We don’t do too many things without each other these days.” I bat my lashes up at him and meet with a look of terror inhiseyes.
“Is that so?” The girl hikes up on her elbows, craning her neck to get a better look at me from over her knees, so I do the only thing I can—step away from her damaged lady flower and head over to introduce myselfproperly.
So this is Meredith. I can’t help but frown when I see her. She’s pretty in an older, butch sort of way, stiff features, brunette with freckles, unfriendly eyes with bald eyebrows that look as if she took a razor to them. Her hair is slicked back into a hard bun, and she has an overall plain as a pancake lookabouther.
“I’m Evie,” I say, still clutching his hand with a death grip in fear he’ll soon discover it’s all too much for him and bolt. “Levi’s girlfriend.” He gives my hand a hard squeeze right down to the bone, but there’s no way in hell I’m making eye contact with him right now. “We’ve been together for eons now. I’m sorry we’re sort of springing this on you today of all days.” A quick smile darts to my lips that screamssorry notsorry.
Her lips contort as if she was genuinely pissed, and I throw a ticker tape parade on the inside. Score one for Team Levi. Screw his brother, will you? This ought to teach you alesson.
She clicks her tongue my way, fully examining me, taking in the curves of my dress, and the disgust on her face only seems to grow. “A little young,isn’tshe?”
“Oh, I don’t mind the age difference.” I reach up and give his scruff a playful scratch, and my insides explode at how vexingly sexy it feels to do just that. Levi bites down over his bottom lip—most likely to keep from rattling off an entire list of expletives I’m sure he’d like to share with me right about now—but I’d like to think we were having a genuinemoment.
“I’m Bonnie.” His mother leans in with a hand extended, and I’m quick to shake it. “You’re not one of Raven’s friends,areyou?”
“Oh!” My entire body seizes upright. Dear God! I can’t lie to his mother, can I? “I’ve seen her around, here and there.” That about sums up the relationship I’ve had with my bestie for the last few years. Nothing but a rare sighting in the wild. Raven is more elusive than Bigfootthesedays.
Bonnie squints my way as if trying to place me. And I pray that through the curse of modern technology Raven hasn’t sent her a dozen pictures of her bestie. “There is something familiar about you, but I can’t quite put my finger on it.” My God, if she recalls freshman orientation, then this woman has a memory like a steel rattrap. “I like you.” She announces that last part with vigor. “Something tells me that you and Raven will get alongjustfine.”
“I think you’re right.” In fact, I know she is. Unless, of course, Raven finds out about Evie Slater. In that case, things will fall to shit ratherquickly.
Levi does a quick glance around while the nurses wrap up their biology experiment gone awry at the foot of the bed and cover up Meredith’s mangled rose from the view ofpryingeyes.
“Congratulations.” Levi takes in a never-ending breath, and for a moment I’m afraid he might actually blow up. “Where’s the little lady ofthehour?”
“Bleh.” Meredith makes a face like she might vomit. “She cried nonstop, so I had the nurses take her back to the baby farm.” She chortles at her ownstalejoke.
Bonnie cringes as if it offended her, and it should. It’s her granddaughter the woman is trying to rid herself of. If her attitude is an indication of what her maternal nature is like, then this child might be better off on any kind of farm far, far away from the woman whoboreher.
“Chip went with the nurse to bring her back.” She wrinkles her nose at the two of us, and a silence clots up the room while the three of them play ping-pong with theireyeballs.
