“I don’t know.” She pats her hands together with that faraway look in her eyes. “I thought about wrecking his car—wreckinghercar. Dousing a bunch of pads with red nail polish and sticking them all over theirwindshields.”
“Shit.” I’m genuinely stunned by the grotesque revelation. “Okay, that’s just disturbing. Maybe forgo that last stunt. Heck, forgo them all. I’d hate to see you with an arrest record over this. They’re not worthy.” I kick the wastebasket over, and a week’s worth of crumpled papers tumble across the floor like snowballs. “Let’s narrow this down. What’s driving youinsane?”
Harper lets out a heavy sigh, her lips swell twice their size as if she’s about to cry. “What’s driving me insane is the fact he’s touching her the way he used to touch me. The fact he’s found something with someone else that he should have hadwithme.”
I nod my head with a steady beat because I’m feeling every word she just set before me. “I’m right there with you. I can’t fucking stand the fact he’s manhandling my girl.” My fist punches the steel desk like a reflex, and my knuckles feel as if they’ve all snapped like candycanes.
“Don’t go breaking your hand.” She leans forward, her gaze still set on some invisible horizon. “Let’s break some heartsinstead.”
“They don’t have hearts. Case in point, they’ve moved on in a day without so much as the middlefinger.”
“Oh, they gave us the middle finger, all right.” She gives an incredulous huff. “I say we give them the fingerrightback.”
“How’sthat?”
“It’s enchilada night down at the Black Bear. Justin might be willing to give me up, but he’s not giving up his persistence to shoot up his cholesterol. He likes his food hot and heavy just the way he likes his skanks. Meet me there at six. I’m buying—all the enchiladas you can handle.” She stabs the sunglasses back onto her face as she gets up to leave, and for the first time since we’ve been here, there’s a smile blooming on her face. “Things are about to get a hell of a lothotter.”
Shady and theTramp
Harper
According to the Kübler-Ross model,there are five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. I’m pretty sure I barreled past denial once I saw Justin pawing that blonde little witch with my own two eyes, and I breezed happily right into anger. And don’t think for a rotten cheating minute that I will at all entertain bargaining, depression, or acceptance. I’m quite content now that I have rage pulsing through my veins. This hate-filled fury is all I will ever need to get me through this life. But first and foremost, I plan on fostering this incessant need for revenge. And in the name of my new vengeance-filled retribution, I plan on looking extra delicious tonight for my first foray in recouping my pride while at theBlackBear.
Harley sends me a text.What do you say to your masseuse boyfriend before you break up? (Ready???) You rub me the wrong way! (Ha-ha!)
I text right back.Try again. Tell Henry hello and to stop being so corny. Loveyouboth!
Kappa G is buzzing tonight as sophomore and seniors alike prep for a night out on the town. There are six bathrooms in the McMansion known as Kappa G, and no matter what time of day I decide to trek to the toilet, each one of them is always full with a line three deep. Since it’s the beginning of a long, hot summer, essentially turning every night into a Friday night, and most of the girls have decided to stay put until fall, it’s going to be hell just trying to empty my bladder, not to mention keeping up with my hygiene. Speaking of hygiene, somewhere in the deep, dark bowels of a drunken high school slumber party, my girlfriends and I each named our kitten, and the moniker I chose for mine just so happened to be Sylvia. Not only has Sylvia been magnificently sexually neglected as of late, but she is craving a sit-down in a nice, long, hot bath. If the lines at Kappa G are any indication, I’m afraid the only sit-down she’ll get is back home in Hollow Meadows in the luxury tub I abandoned in the name of highereducation.
Gwen, the hippy housemother who loves weed and orthopedic-looking suede sandals like nobody’s business, meets me in the hall with those smudged raccoon eyes, a look she very much strives to achieve, and greets me with a lazy grin. “Your new roommate is coming inanhour.”
“Cool.” I wave to Ava and Lucky as they come up the stairs. “Tell her to make herself at home. I’ll be back a littlelater.”
Gwen flashes us the peace sign as she does a disappearing act, and Ava is quick to yank me intotheirroom.
“How are you?” Ava pulls me into a quick embrace before spinning me intoherbed.
“I’m great.” It takes everything in me to push the words out, but surprisingly, Ibelievethem.
Lucky narrows her suspicious gaze onto me. “Great? Nobody’sgreat, Harper. Choose another adjective to sellyourlies.”
“No lies.” I inspect my hair in the mirror and fluff out my curls with my fingers. “I’m over Justin Cramer andhisfilthylies.”
“Have you hadthe talk?” If Ava keeps taking in air and forgetting to exhale, she’ll pass out and I think we all know at this point that Justin isn’t worthfaintingover.
The talk. Yes, after I saw Justin sucking face with that blonde bimbo, I thought for sure he’d have something to say to me. He texted me about an hour later and let me know we’d speak soon, but nothing ever came of it. It’s been two days and not a word from the cheating snake—just a very real broken heart and far too many tears to number onmyend.
“Not yet.” A part of me wishes I had some witty comeback, but that dark place is pulling me in again, sucking me under, and my throat is constrictingwithpain.
Ava takes up my hand, pushes the hair off my face as if she were my mother, and I love that about her. “If you let too much time go by, there won’t be any room forwords.”
“She doesn’t need words.” Lucky looks as if she’s about to grab a hatchet and chop off his dick—not that I would stop her. “She needs ashotgun.”
“Whoa.” Ava holds up a hand to her bestie. Lucky is a wild card, and I’ve always appreciated that about her. And Ava, well, she’s the voice of reason, even if I’m not too interested in reason at the moment. I’ve got plenty ofreasonfor revenge, and that’s all I need to focus on right now. “Don’t listen to her. Heal your heart. Take all the time you need. The last thing you want to do is jump into another relationship. There’s nothing worse than arebound.”
“God forbid the rebound!” Lucky high-fives her partner-in-anti-rebound-arms.
“Trust me, the last thing I’m going to do is latch onto anybody else—probably forever. I’ve seen the shitter it put my mother through. There’s no way in hell I want anything to do with that heartache. I don’t need a man today or tomorrow. I’m pretty sure I can handle this life thing onmyown.”
