The room quiets to an instant hush as bodies turn their attention in thisdirection.
“Go ahead!” I shout so loud my voice eats its way through the vacuum of silence. “Lay it out there. The real reason you’re taking her home!” My voice shrills so loud it shreds my throat like razors, but Knox doesn’t say anything. His jaw clenches. His eyes glitter with moisture, but there’s something about that steadfast gaze that won’t let go of me. He’s choosing her over me. His heart has been with her this entire time. They were together for two long years, and maybe deep down they had something real after all. I was just a silly throwaway fling. A rebound rife with bad ideas—revenge he never really wanted a part in. “I hate you,” it comes out low, so soft and resonant it almost sounds romantic. “I hate you for using me at the lowest point in my life.” I turn to head for the exit and spot Henry’s wide eyes. The look of hurt and confusion on his face is all for me, and I burst into tears over the fact I had my greatest meltdown in front of the two people I would have died to protect from thisnightmare.
I bolt out the door and into my car, yelling for Harley to take Henry home. Lucky practically pushes me out of the driver’s seat and sits in itherself.
“I’ll take you wherever you wanttogo.”
Where do I want to go? I’ve lost my right to sleep at Kappa G, I can’t go back to Knox’s place, which I stupidly thought wasourplace, and dorm admissions are closed for thenight.
“Follow Harley.” I point over to the Tahoe leaving the curb. “Take me home, Lucky.” Sometimes a girl just needs her family to make her feel better, even if she doesn’t plan on getting out of bed for the rest of thesummer.
A hard knock comes over the passenger’s window, and I look up to see Knox with a frantic expression—his miniature little hussy just three feetbehindhim.
“Harper, wait. We needtotalk!”
“Drive!” I scream at the top of my lungs, and Lucky doesjustthat.
Lucky spends the night with me in my childhood bed while I deflect having a single conversation with my mother, my sister, my sweet overly concerned brother, Lucky, or even Knox himself. I tossed my phone into the deep end of my closet as soon as we got in and haven’t fished it out yet. Suddenly, I’m not so keen oncommunication.
The next morning, I call student relations and am swiftly informed that the dorms don’t open up officially for another three weeks, so there’s that. It looks as if I’m home for the rest of the summer just like Ipredicted.
Screw theinternship.
Screw Knox Toberman—just the same way hescrewedme.
Knox
Harper doesn’t pickup my calls, return my texts, or show up for our internship. I’ve driven out to Hollow Meadows on three separate occasions, and each time that intimidating front gate remains as closed as her heart. I’ve pissed her off. Hell, I’ve more than pissed her off—I’ve hurt her deeply, maybe even wounded her without meaning to. Grant and Lawson have all but shaken me down for answers, but I’m slow to give them. The truth is, I don’t like this new reality that’s been flung my way. I’m petrified, out of my mind afraid, so much so that I keep getting pummeled during practice. One of my teammates clocks me with his helmet right in the gut, and had I been paying attention, I would have zigged when he zagged and not be lying supine staring at the blinding sun that sprays its death rays down over me. It’s blazing fucking hot today. Two hundred degrees at least, and this dogfight on the field is the last place I wanttobe.
Rex comes up, sweat beading down his temples, his brows, his upper lip, and he kneels beside me, shading me withhisbody.
“What’s going on? You hung over?” He sticks his fingers over my neck as if to check mypulse.
“I’m alive.” I get up onto my elbows, and the coach calls for a break. “I think I’m done for the day.” I sling my head between my knees, and Rex coaxes me tomyfeet.
“Let’s get you some water.” Rex leads me off the field and motions to the stands that are miraculously in the shade. It’s hot and humid as hell, but the shade is still a welcome reprieve from the fire raining down from the sky. He sits across from me and kicks my foot out. “What’s going on? Your head hasn’t been in it the last few days. Is football still yourthing?”
I jerk back as if he slapped me. “Are you nuts? Hell yes, it’s still my thing. I’ve just got a ton of otherthingsonmymind.”
“Let’s see. Football, food, or girls—the three basic principles of your life right now, and seeing that you’re well fed, it’s not football—that leaves just one thing. Girls. How are things with Harper? You two still playing the part to mess with themasses?”
“Nope.” I wince over at the boys on the field, running around, doing their thing while I sit here with my thumb up my ass feeling sorry for myself. “Harper and I were together. Itwasreal.”
“Was? Is that the operative word?” Rex lets out a heavy sigh. “Crap. Whathappened?”
“What didn’t happen? Everything was going right until it wasn’t. You know, about six months ago I had a nagging feeling in my gut that Jen and I weren’t going to work, but I denied it. And you want to know why? Because of Mom and Dad. They ate a shit sandwich and so did we because of it. I wanted them to last. And then when things fell apart, I wanted them to forgive one another so that we could get our family back on track. Look, I don’t have anything against Mom and her new husband. I think they work great, but I’d be lying if I didn’t say I wish it had worked out for her and Dad in the end. I judged them. I judged our parents. I thought they were quitters for giving up so easily—and believe me, in hindsight I see it wasn’t easy for them. But I thought if that was me—my wife—we would make it work. I would never quit. I would be there no matter what. I wasn’t about to let any of my relationships dissolve to nothing and chalk it all up to lessons learned, wasted time. Nope. I was going to be some hardcore relationship junkie who, come hell or high water, was not going to let lifesinkus.”
Rex leans back, a pained smile on his face. “And how did that work outforyou?”
“Landed me in a pile of shit.” I pause mid-thought. “I take that back. It was the best thing I ever did inmylife.”
“Dude”—he winces—“she left you. You were cheated on. I get that you grew from the experience—but around me, you don’t have to embrace the fire. You were burned. Iunderstandthat.”
“I’m not embracing the fire. What Jen did sucked. What I am embracing is the fact it’s the road that led me to Harper.” I sink my face in my hand a moment before coming up for air. “Harper is the best thing that’s happened to me in a long time. She’s more or less me in female skin. I never thought it was possible for two people to get along so well—you know, outside of family. And if I’m honest, Harper feels like family. In a lot of ways, I feel closer to Harper than I do Trix. But don’t tell Trix that. I’m not in the mood for another beatdown. This entire summer has been one beatdown afterthenext.”
“Sounds like it. So, if Harper is great, then what’s the problem? Is it because she’s not at practice watching you from the sidelines?” He gives a faint smile. “You need to let go for a few hours each day to get shit done. She’ll still be waiting for you when the dayisover.”
“No, it’s not that.” A dull laugh escapes me. If only it was that. “Harper and I sort of got in an argument the other night. She took off with her brother and sister. Lucky says she went home, but wouldn’t tell me where home was. I finally got it out of Lawson yesterday. I made three trips out, but the fort her mother owns is impenetrable. I don’t know what to do short of sitting in the driveway. She may not come out for the rest of thesummer.”
