I get dressed, throw my hair into a ponytail and a baseball cap that readsGo Mustangs!and head over to campus. At least there I can grab a cup of coffee and use the facilities. Two luxuries I seemed to have unwittingly eschewed in favor of gaining one hundred sisters, all with bladderissues.
It’s Friday, the day in which I am not getting laid, and thus no internship until next week, which makes me feel a little worse, if that were possible. I’ll never admit to it, but it’s sort of fun having Knox peel away at mysanity.
The summer air is thick and heavy, and it’s not even noon, which means hanging out in the open air will be torture in an hour, and suddenly I feel far too dressed for the temperatures this hellish day is about tooffer.
Off near the quad, I hear an annoying high-pitched bout of laughter and everything in me freezes. I glance over and stopbreathing.
There they are,holding hands!Laughing! Justin doesn’t laugh unless he’s cutting somebody down. He’s mean and bullish that way, and for a long time I actually found that a little bit attractive. Stupid,stupidme. Speaking of me, I bet that’s exactly who they’re laughing at. They glance over at the same time, and I bolt into Hallowed Grounds Coffee Shop quicker than expected. My heart is racing, my adrenaline humming to dangerous levels that threaten to stop my existence. If I’m smart, I’ll go out there right now and give them both a kiss from my fists for even looking at me today. God, Ihatethem.
The line miraculously dissolves to nothing and I put in an order for my usual extra-large iced sugar concoction. Usually it’s not a problem to consume so many carbs this early in the day because normally I would have easily run five miles by now, but judging by my lack of cardio and my incessant need to propagate my sugar addiction, I’m sure I’ll be trading up my jeans size before fall semester evenstarts.
“Hey, you’re that girl,” an annoyed female voice rails frommyside.
“I could be.” I don’t bother starting up a conversation with her. I bet she’s new and fishing for friends. She’ll have to fish somewhere else because I’m a little too moody lately to make any new friends. I’ll be lucky to hang onto the fewIhave.
She follows me over to where we both seem to be waiting for ourdrinks.
“Can I help you?” I glance over at her and find myself doing a double take. Those dark blue eyes look as if someone colored them in with a crayon and that dark glossy hair, those cheekbones. She looks startlingly familiar, but I can’t seem to place her. It’s killing me. I hate it when my brain opts out of the conversation because for the life of me she feels very,veryfamiliar. I lean in to scrutinize her up close, and those oversized perfectly formed bowtie lips jump out at me. That’s how I know her! I’ve kissed those lips!Gah! God help me because this is not a memory I should be having. I think I would totally remember if I kissedagirl.
She rolls her eyes as if she gets this reaction from people every day. “I’m Trixie, Knox’s sister. We’re twins. He beat me to the planet by four minutes, but I’ve spent the rest of my life beating him at just abouteverythingelse.”
Instantly I like her. My entire body floods with quick relief, because one, I didn’t technically kiss her even though I might have gotten a tad aroused while looking atherlips.
They call our names at the same time and we pick up ourdrinks.
“Let’s take a seat,” she says it as more of a command than a request, and just as I’m about to shoot her down, the door swoops open and in walk Justin and Jen—how I loathe the fact their names sound cutetogether.
I pull Trixie into a seat by the window as if plucking her out of a fire. If I can’t be here with Knox, I may as well make Janelle, the waste of human tissue, irate by getting chummy with her ex’s twinsister.
“What’s wrong?” Trixie looks over her shoulder, and her upper lip pulls to the side as if she’s about to get sick. “Oh, that. I always suspected she was ahobag.”
“Ha!” I squawk so loud the ho bag herself glances over, and her eyes enlarge when she sees the two of us together. “I’ve called her that myself.” I sneer at this feminine version of my new fake boyfriend. “I knew I liked you.” We share a demented laugh. It’s clear Trixie and I will be speed bonding over our shared hatred for all things blonde and skinny that happen to be banging my ex. “So you said you knew me.” I cock my head and lean in, wondering how much she’s apprised of at the moment. For all I know, she might still be in the dark about that kiss. I am rather infamous on The Row for spotting my boyfriend in the wild with a nipple-facedfloozy.
“Knox told me all about you. That kiss that led to the great food fight at the Black Bear? The fact that you’re up for serving a little shit pie with your revenge?” She cuts a look to the two twats circling the counter as they wait for their order. “You’d better watchyourback.”
“Oh, I’m not afraid of them,” I growl in their general direction and the two of them turn around as ifoncue.
“Trixie Toberman, is thatyou?” Miss Helium Balloon for Brains clip-clops over in designerheels.
I lean in to Trixie and whisper, “Never trust a girl who wears heelsbeforenoon.”
Trixie snickers at the quip and a warm fuzzy feeling takes over as if I’ve actually achieved something by way of garnering Knox’s sister onmyside.
“Why, thatisyou!” The blonde twat leans in for a hug and Trixie is quick to back up out of reach. I knew that I knew that Iknewthat Ilikedher.
“I have a cold,” she grumbles. “So, is that the girl you traded my brother for?” She scowls at Justin, and now it’s my turn to snicker because now that I’ve been spending more time with Knox, I can totally see how effeminate Justinreallyis.
“She is ahe.” Jen giggles up a storm and it sounds more like the motor of a washing machine malfunctioning. “And I didn’t technically leave anyone. I don’t know what you heard, but every pancake has twosides.”
“Why don’t you go find that pancake and eat it?” I take a hasty sip of my drink and nearly chokeonit.
She smirks down at me as if what I suggested was quasi-humorous and not a strict nutritional plan I suggest she follow. “I know you’re not happy with me right now,” she hums it out like the squeak of a mouse and my eyelids roll up likecurtains.
“Not happy with you?” A hot pang of rage shoots right through my skull. Swear to God, if this girl initiates an aneurysm in me and cuts me off in my prime, I will come back to haunt her from the grave. She will never be free of me until her dying breath, and most likely not even then will this nitwit properly process the fact, that no, I will never be fucking happywithher.
Trixie gives me a light kick from under the table just as Justin comes up and wraps an arm around the dingleberry’s shoulders. The fucking nerve! “You know what they say. Happiness is the best form of—” Trixie tips her head from side to side as if asking me to fill in the ManoloBlahniks.
Oh, right, revenge. The exact thing I live for and will always live for, no thanks to the tainted duo taking up the precious airspacearoundme.
