“Of course, I’m killing it.” I am so not killing it. Unless, of course, you categorize fetching coffee and flagging down Uber drivers as a success. In that case, I am totally killing it. I avert my eyes to Sadie. My little blonde nymph of a friend is the only one I’ve divulged the truth to so far. I was too afraid if I told Mack, she’d tell Mom who would understandably tell Dad and they’d both veto my very adult decision to stay on the West Coast sans friends and family as I venture daily to the beach for a sand nap. The horrible truth is, I recently quit my job. As soon as my boss made it clear he wanted me on the mattress more than he wanted medecoratingthe mattress, I told him he could bend over and suck his own fat dick because I wasn’t about to do it. I believe his parting words to me wereyou’ll never decorate in this town again!And true to his prophetic utterings, I’ve yet to find a firm that will take me. I put out the feelers far and wide, and I’m still hoping against hope I come up with something fast because my bank account is running on fumes and my roommate already has a pair of Russian twins in the wings who make a steady living down on Hollywood Boulevard dressed as Wonder Woman and Supergirl ready to replace me.
“And now you’re killing me.” Jax steps back enough to take in the rest of me. “Bringing L.A. back to Oak Grove, I see.” He shakes his head at my ensemble of choice. “The boys better watch out.” He tips his cocky yet impossibly gorgeous head my way. Those dazzling eyes of his latch onto mine once again. “So you’re here for the big birthday slash announcement, I take it.” His lips twitch as if he’s holding back a laugh, and the thought of Jax having a good chuckle at my expense enrages me. I’m sure he’s been laughing at me all along. I can’t shake the feeling he sees through my façade, right down to the dirty glorified Starbucks’s secretary details.
“Exactly that.” I swallow hard. It’s only partially a lie. Yes, our mothers are set to announce something they promise will knock our socks off in just a few short weeks at their shared sixty is sensational birthday bash, but I’m also hoping to score a small personal loan from my father that will get me through the spring.
“Mmm.” He gives a quick moan while drinking down my features as if he hadn’t seen them one too many times already. But there’s something about hearing that moan—watching the way his left eye came just shy of winking as if he were indulging in something far too delicious for words sends my thighs trembling once again. In the five years since I’ve seen him, he’s grown into a full-blown man. His chest has filled out, his face is that much more comelier, and those lips, those cutthroat deep flame blue eyes—God Almighty, someone call the fire department. This boy has set my panties on fire.
Just as I’m about to tell him to stop with the waking wet dream, Mack shows up with a tray full of shots that promise to take this night from tolerable to memorable.
“Jaxy Jax!” Mackenzie squawks with delight as she nods us to the table just a few steps away. “This is perfect. Now we can finally discuss that fabulous sixty fiasco and how we’re going to show up those high jinks heroines once and for all.”
“Prank the pranksters?” Sadie winces. “And risk enduring their formidable wrath for years to come? Count me in—but I’m watching from the sidelines.”
Jax and I exchange a brief glance.
“Lord knows we have more than enough reasons to exact revenge.” I pick up my tiny glass and toast my sister. “But Sadie is right. They’ll come at us ten times harder. Each time we’ve tried to malign the mavens of mischief, we’ve ended up on the wrong side of a very humiliating act of foul play.”
Jax scoots his seat in, and his knee brushes against mine for a moment. “Don’t tell me you fear a couple of middle-aged women—and I say that as a fact, not a putdown—who have made sure that every highlight of your juvenile years was not only recorded but as toxically degrading as can be?”
I’d call him out on his use of the wordtoxic, but it happens to be true. If anything, Char and Deb take toxic to a whole new level.
“Of course, I fear them, and, if you were wise, you would, too. Face it, there’s no one else on this side of the continental divide who can strike the fear of payback in you the way they can. Besides, what prank would even be worthy to take on the divas of damaged psyches? Let’s be realistic. Those old gals are twisted, and I shudder to think what their devious minds might conjure up in the name of retribution.” Although it would be fun to watch Jax, the casual billionaire boy, squirm as a little good old-fashioned recompense is doled out via his mad maven of a mama.
His bedroom eyes wince my way as he leans in. “Why are you grinning at me that way?”
“I thought you were used to women falling all over you with a greasy smile.”
“I am.” His knee gazes over mine once again. “And usually when they’re bearing their fangs, they’re getting ready to bite. See anything you’d like to sink your teeth into?”
“Down, boy,” I’m quick to reprimand.
“Not so fast, Pops.” Sadie gets that squirrely look in her eyes. “I wouldn’t be so quick to dismiss a good naughty invite.”
Mack pushes Sadie aside. “Down,girl.” She opens her mouth to say something else, but all that manages to eke out is a small choking sound. She draws another breath and gasps. “Oh my word! You did it, Sadie!”
“I did?” She scoots my way a notch, in the event the Fireball my sister just imbibed has inspired her to test out her uppercut on my sweet pixie friend.
“Yes! You just gave me the brainstorm of the century.” Mack’s eyes swirl like pinwheels. “I’ve got the ultimate prank we can pull on those mischievous mavens as they get ready to turn a sexy sixty.”
“Give it to me,” Jax says while looking at my sister, but his knee rubs over my own, warm and lingering, and I can’t help but think he’s throwing out the perverted invite once again. Something tells me Jax isn’t one to hear no very often, and the thought of sending him home without a vaginal pocket to place his penis brings a dark smile to my face.
“The two of you”—Mack slides a shot of liquid gold to both Jax and me—“are going to pull the ultimate prank on our mothers.”
I avert my eyes at the thought. “Well played, Mack. So when the ax falls, you’ll be safely on the sidelines with Sadie.Right. There’s no way I’m pulling anything on those two beady-eyed biddies, unless you enlist yourself along with Jules and Kali, too.” Jules and Kali are Jaxson’s sisters—one older, one younger, both far more affable.
Mack bounces in her seat, giddy with excitement. “No can do. What I have planned only the two of you can pull off.”
Sadie knocks back her drink and slams the shot glass to the table. “Don’t keep us in suspense. Midnight is nearing—and I’ve got a loose set of lips to wrangle up.”
“Okay.” Mackenzie closes her eyes a moment as if summoning all her strength for the effort. “You know how Mom and Deb have been after the two of you to get together ever since you were in the womb? Well, I say give them what they want.” A tiny dimple in her left cheek digs in as she indulges in a self-gratifying smile.
“I don’t get it.” I look to Jaxson, who seems to be warming to the idea, wetting his lips, chest expanding like a sexed-up baboon. “Oh, wait”—I sit up straight—“you don’t mean…”
“Yes.” Mack clasps my hands tight. “The two of you pretend to be knock-down, drag-out head over heels inlove. And then, once their sixtieth birthday bash slash huge announcement settles down, you lay it on them—whamo!” She slaps both hands down on the table so hard, half the bar turns to see if shots were fired.
“That’scruel, Mackenzie.” I’m the first to protest. “That’s heartless.” That’s brilliant is what it is.
“It’s a heart stopper,” Jax adds in that low octave that makes my girl parts bounce on cue. Dear God, this man is a hormonal weapon of mass destruction.
