Sensual Shenanigans
Poppy
There aretwo things I’ve waited years for. The first was to feel Jax Stade’s lips against mine just one more time. And the second, to see our mothers worked up like a pair of cackling hyenas who unbeknownst to them have landed on the receiving end of the high jink laden crazy train they’ve been commandeering for as long as I’ve known them.
The Starry Nights Bar and Grill is sparsely populated on this cold as a witch’s tit afternoon. I’ve always hated that sexist expression that my brother seemed to be so fond of, but on this below zero arctic hour, it seems to be a fitting description. I glance around and spot Sadie talking to Hunter, our old childhood friend who took this place over from his father. Handing things down to your children is sort of a rite of passage in Oak Grove, be it a billion-dollar steel company, a bar and grill, or even a crappy sense of humor.
I head over, offering Hunter a spontaneous hug. Hunter is handsome and sweet—a dangerous combination of everything right. He once asked me on a date to the movies in our junior year and never bothered to show. He apologized profusely and cited cold feet, and we’ve never brought it up again. I never seemed to have any luck with the boys in Oak Grove, so the incident didn’t scar me all that much.
“What’s up, Montgomery?” Hunter hands me a soda from under the counter. “What’s this I hear about you taming Stade?” His blond brows meet in the middle as if this were a genuine crisis of vaginal proportions.
I glance to Sadie as the truth bubbles up my throat. I can’t go around lying to everyone I know.
Sadie gives a slight shake of the head. “Yes. It’s a new endeavor they’re embarking on—but come on. Everyone who’s anyone in Oak Grove has known those two were destined for one another.”
“Right,” I say convincingly. “We’ve finally laid our mothers to rest.” Way to sound morbid. But if the bitter truth does them in, then it’s spot-on.
Hunter grunts, “Nice, Pop. It sounds like you killed them. And you know what else you killed? My business. Word on the estrogen-laden street gets out and my nightly bar crawlers will reduce by a third.”
“A third, huh?” I muse at my old friend. “I didn’t realize Jaxson Stade’s penis was responsible for boosting both the clientele and the economy at Starry Nights.”
Hunter groans just as an entire gaggle of distraught looking women stagger in. “Please don’t say the wordpenisunder my roof. And I’d better go console the masses. I just want you to know, I’m holding you personally responsible for the financial decline around here.”
“Very funny,” I say, pulling Sadie into the nearest seat. “Could you believe that riot last night?”
She leans in as her lids grow heavy. “I’m still stuck on that kiss.”
“That kiss.” I suck in my bottom lip as I drink down the memory. Sure, it was just a whisper, but it might as well have been a scream as far as my girl parts were concerned. I had an honest to God thigh quivering, orgasmic power surge right there in front of our families—my mother, my irate brother, and my father for God’s sake! “Who knew it was volatile enough to send cake flying? And don’t for a minute think I feel bad about it. It feels sinfully delicious serving those mischief mavens their just desserts after years of living under their tyranny.”
She winces. “How’s poor Conner?”
“Poor Conner was doted on all night by my mother. The swelling has gone down, and unlike Mack’s unofficial diagnosis, I’m positive he’ll have children one day.”
Conner may have started the fight, but Jaxson Man of Steel finished it.
“I guess this thing between the two of you might actually cost them their friendship.”
“Are you kidding?” I practically fall over in disbelief. “This thing we have is about as real as that plastic Christmas tree still sulking in the corner. As soon as we break the news to our mothers, Conner will have a good laugh and recover. I’m sure they’ll hug it out, and Jax will probably buy him a private jet or something equally ridiculous that screams this might be over, but my dick is still bigger than yours.”
Sadie belts out a laugh. Her tiny white teeth glow against those ruby red lips. I’ve always admired Sadie’s perfect picket fence smile. While I suffered years of orthodontia at the hands of the town sadist, my good friend with the consummate chompers invested her time and energy in garnering boys who appreciate that pretty white smile. For as many dates as I didn’t have, Sadie made up the depraved difference.
“So, what’s next? You taking that billionaire bad boy into the living room and having a feast off his body for all to see?”
“As tempting as teaching our mothers a lesson via better than sex cake, I think I’ll pass on the voyeuristic display. Seeing that my father and brother are being pulled into this indelicate disaster, I think I should at least show an ounce of decorum.”
“Okay, but just an ounce. This isn’t about your father or brother. It’s about teaching a lesson to those two nosy Nancys, who by the way rained on all of my parades by proxy. Who do you think was left holding the bag during your sweet sixteen when they thought it was a good idea to set your hair on fire?”
“I’m pretty sure that was an accident.” The memory of leaning in to blow out my cotton candy pink candles comes to mind and I shudder. “It was simply a case of too much flammable hairspray.”
Sadie grunts, “That coupled with the fact those seemingly innocent birthday candles morphed into rocket launchers the second you puckered those pretty little lips.” She makes a face. “I couldn’t drive any faster to the ER, Poppy.”
“That’s because you weren’t the one who was driving. It was Jax who was breaking laws behind the wheel.”
Her lips twist as she nods in agreement. “He was always there for you, Pops. I don’t know why Conner is shocked by your fake news. It should bereal. Both you and I know that.”
My phone bleats and does a quick spin over the table, and I scoop it up. “Hmm,” I muse. “It’s a text from the mischievous maven herself.”POTS is having their annual dinner gala next Friday night! Deb and I wanted to know if you and Jaxson wouldn’t mind popping in! Dinner and dancing at the Leopard Lodge. All the spaghetti you can eat! Let me know, and I’ll cover the cost.
I flash the phone at my old friend. POTS stands for Pounds Off the Sensible Way. I’ve always been amused at how the wordwaywas left off for the sake of creating a lingo friendly acronym. My mother and Deb have been members since before I was born, always battling those thirty unwanted pounds while whipping up an entire kitchen of delicious desserts that landed them there in the first place. Of course, Mom and Deb provide the local chapter of POTS with their latest, greatest kitchen creations, which in turn keeps the local chapter the least productive in weight loss in the entire Western Hemisphere. I’m convinced their efforts to join the chapter is just one long-running practical joke they’re playing on the hips of the women of Oak Grove. After all, if Char and Deb were going to be forced to carry their freshman fifteen for the rest of their lives, they’ll be damned if the entire town isn’t going to join them.
