“That’s because we had a bad breakup last summer,” he says it to Eli as if it were a fact.
Oh my fuck. My next breath gets caught in my throat. “You aresucha liar!” My voice rattles around my skull, and, as riotously as I might have shouted the words, I doubt anyone heard outside of our tiny unholy huddle because the house band is just that loud.
“Okay. Fine.” His hands float up as if he were guilty, and he issofreaking guilty, and annoying, and obnoxious. “It was early fall, but I’m not keeping tabs.”
I swat him over the stomach for even implying such evil, and my hand can’t help but note the wall of marble I’m up against.
I look to Eli and shake my head. “I’m not seeing this clown. Never was. Never will.”
“He is a clown.” Eli seems agreeable enough, and his likability index goes up a notch once he sides with me. “Why don’t we shake him?”
“Dude, you can’t ditch me with my ex,” Lawson groans as if this were a real situation brewing here. My mind spins with all of the different scenarios as to why this boy has gone off the deep end, and Jet pops to mind.
“Did my brother put you up to this?” I poke my finger in his hard petrified chest. “Is that why you’re acting so bizarre?”
“I’m not the one acting, sweetie.” He looks to Eli. “She’s just messing with you to get me going.” His expression sours. “Not that she got me going that often. She’sfrigid.” He practically mouths that last part, and I suck in a breath in horror. “But I’m not knocking it. Some girls just don’t like sex.”
My jaw unhinges. My adrenaline spikes because Lawson Kent just declared war on both my vagina and me. “I amnotfrigid!” I’m insolent. I’m pissed is what I am. “I was simply underwhelmed with what you had to offer.” I blink a dry smile. Two can play at that deceptive coital game, and he has no clue what kind of a first-class liar he is up against.
His eyes widen, round as quarters, green as algae.
Ha! Take that, you narcissistic, ego-inflated, basketball-wielding playboy. I’ll outwit, out lie, outplay this deranged master of distortion each and every time. Honestly, I almost feel sorry for him. He has no idea who he’s up against. I turned lying into an art form before I was three.
“That’s right.” I shrug over at Eli who looks as if he’d rather be anywhere but near our toxic tango. “I’m not a size matters kind of a girl, but when you’re dealing with a micropenis and inverted balls—excuse me,undescended testicles—he didn’t really leave me a lot to work with.” I swallow hard, unsure of how messy it’s going to be when Lawson’s ego explodes like a testosterone-filled piñata—although, I’m relishing the thought. I’d love nothing more than to go home tonight wearing Lawson Kent’s malfunctioning manhood on my sweater.
“Dude, I’m not small.” Lawson shakes his head vigorously at his friend, but Eli simply lifts his hands in surrender and slowly backs away.
“I’ll leave you two to work things out.” He gives a tiny grin my way and mouths the wordscall me.
“I always knew you were a bastard!” Lawson shouts after Eli as the crowd slowly digests him.
I don’t waste a second before getting in Lawson Kent’s face. “You, my friend, are the bastard! Scratch that. You’re not my friend! You’re not my anything! You are certainly not my ex kindergarten lifer. How could you do that to me? I had a sure thing, and you and your delusions of grandeur trashed what could have been the beginning of something beautiful just for the heck of it!”
“How could you say I had a micropenis?” he shouts so loud half of my sorority sisters stop gyrating to the music to gawk at him and his potential deformity. I hope to God they are all taking notes. “Idon’t,by the way!” he’s quick to contest to the crowd.
“You most certainlydo,” I scoff as I make my way to the exit. “A girl just knows these things.”
Lawson keeps steady pace beside me, and I wait until we’re outside in the cool January air to slap his chest silly.
“Would you stop following me!” I give him one final smack, and, honest to God, my hand stings from the effort. “I am not your ex, or yournext. I know guys like you.” I jump up on my tiptoes until my teeth are within biting distance of his neck. “You like to play games once you get your ego bruised because it makes you feel powerful and incharge. Well, guess what? The only thing you’ll ever be in charge of again is Rosy Palm because I plan on spreading my own rumors around campus just like you did in that bar. By the time I’m through with you—with the fictional history ofus—you’ll wish you had enrolled in the priesthood rather than Whitney Briggs. And forget trying to troll for a good time anywhere in Hollow Brook either. You’ve crossed the wrong person, buddy. I’ll make sure you never get laid in this town again if it’s the last thing I do!”
I watch his Adam’s apple rise and fall, assuring me that I’ve struck a carnal cord.
“Blue balls,” I huff as I storm off across the street toward Whitney Briggs.
“Yeah? Well, you’re never getting laid again either, sweetheart!” he thunders so loud my bones quake from humiliation. “And just in case you’re wondering—psycho is a good look on you! Keep it up! Oh, wait, you don’t have to! It comes naturally!”
As soon as I round out the corner from the Hallowed Grounds coffee shop, I enter into a sprint all the way to my dorm.
What the hell was that all about?
Lawson
What the hellwas that all about?
The iced air ushers me back inside, back to the warmth of the boisterous Black Bear with its beer breath and bevy of chicks in short dresses despite the frosty weather.
I pan the room for Rush or Grant before it hits me they’ve both taken off to get laid for the night. Getting laid. Now that’s something I can sink my teeth into. A nice, tall, blonde maybe. A horny as hell brunette. Heck, I’ll take a redhead who’s willing to set my dick on fire. I scan the vicinity and spot a redhead indeed waving me over. Only it’s not a fiery prospect for the night. It’s my sister.
