“One-night stand?” Cassidy gently rakes her nine-inch nails over the back of my hand. “This girl is too sweet to even think of such a horror. Believe you me, there is not a boy worth your while who only wants one thing. You just wait, and when you least expect it—whamo!” She claps so hard each one of us inches back in our seats. “You’ll be struck with the love bug. That’s exactly the way it happened for Cade and me.”
“Cade is my brother.” Piper averts her eyes a moment. “And believe me, he wasn’t crazy about Owen when we first met, so you can see this is just a vicious cycle that repeats itself time and time again. You’re not the only one who suffers the torments of an overbearing brother.”
Cassidy checks her phone before rising. “Do yourself a big favor and wait for Mr. Right. Mr. RightNowsimply doesn’t deserve you. No one-night stands for you, missy!” She gives a friendly wave as she trots out the door.
“I’d better get going, too.” Scarlett rises and looks to Daisy. “You tell your brother not to worry. This girl isn’t throwing her pearls to swine. Nice girls like Lucky don’t do that whole love ’em and leave ’em bit.” She gives a sly wink.
Piper leans in and offers me a hug, tucking her lips close to my ear. “If you ever need a lifeline, I’m here for you,” she whispers as she speeds off with a wave, and Scarlett follows her right out the door.
Piper wants to be my lifeline. My heart warms at the idea. God knows I can use a lifeline or two. But Scarlett’s words resonate in my mind—love ’em and leave ’em. That’s almost word for word how I framed my newfound serial dating spree to Lawson. Speaking of the cherry-popping man of the hour, he’s not my Mr. Right Now, is he? We’re friends who were just a —friendly…fuck? God, that sounds so vulgar.
“Hey”—Daisy shakes me out of my stupor—“don’t let those girls get to you. I promise love is coming your way. I remember not too long ago wishing I could have just that, and the more I wished for it the further it seemed to get. Fate sort of ended up throwing Jet and me together.” She winces. “Fate and perhaps a not-so esteemed member of the U.S. Senate. But hey, you’ve got loads of time to worry about that. Who needs love when you’ve got papers to write? Am I right, or am Iwrite? Get it?” She guffaws at her own pun, and I’m slow to join her.
Instead, I lean in and needle her with my stare. “You wouldn’t happen to know what a hand job is, would you?”
Her eyes bug out, and I can practically hear a car horn going off in her mind. “Are you trying to killme?”
“Is it bad?” I gasp at the thought. Crap. I should never have even mentioned it the other night with Lawson. He must think I’m an idiot. And growing opinion in Cutler Tower—specifically my dorm, is running with this idea.
“Oh, hon.” She sinks her face in her hands. “Thank God you’re so innocent and naïve. Your brother has nothing to worry about.” She laughs so hard for a second I wonder if I inadvertently said something hysterical. “A hand job”—she forms a tunnel over her lips with her hands and whispers—“is nothing you should worry your pretty little head about.” She hops up and starts to take off, and I catch the tip of her sleeve and reel her back down.
“Definition, please.”
“Oh, Lucky.” She leans in and whispers directly into my ear, and I gasp.
Crap. I cringe at the thought of how naïve I really am.
Daisy finally takes off, and I make my way out of the café and into the dark night that has swallowed Whitney Briggs whole. Slowly, I meander throughout campus, past the gym, past the senior square, past the gaggle of girls that seems to light up the night with their cackling laughter, and straight into the thicket of evergreens that line the back of the school.
I stagger through the dark and looming forest, and that ache deep inside my heart ratchets up until it feels like I’m about to burst. Only this time all of those giddy feelings I had hours earlier evaporate to nothing. And then the tears come, slow and steady at first, until they blur my vision to the point I can no longer see. Then heaving sobs, the blubbering of a child who didn’t get her way—a child no one could possibly ever love.
I fall to the ground, to the damp earth and lose it. I cry for me, for all of my shitty,shittygoals, for the heartache etched in me at the thought of Ava and Harper disapproving what I’ve done. I cry hard at the words of Daisy’s friends, the ominous ponderings of love, something I can’t quite believe in for myself, but for some reason happens effortlessly for everybody else. I cry for my mother whom I miss because she was an amazing person. I cry for my father whom I miss even though he was a crappy person at times. I cry because I still love him, and I’m not sure what that makes me. I cry for my sister, Jade, whom I have never met and never will.
I miss her.
I miss her so damn much.
Lawson
Saturday night, there’s a mixer at Kappa G. Girls’ territory. Our captains suggested strongly we attend since the Kappa girls have been so kind in populating our keggers. So at about seven o’clock, the majority of us trek on over. Kappa Gamma Gamma is far more spacious, far more hygienically appealing than Beta house any day. It’s also quite loud inside, as bad eighties rock music pounds out of the crappy speakers. The Kappa girls may have invested in nicer furniture than we have, but the Beta boys have a superior sound system.
I give a nervous once-over of the vicinity in search of Lucky. When she left yesterday, I saw that the condom was smeared with blood. It scared the living hell out of me. I haven’t been with that many girls, but I’m pretty sure I’m not supposed to tear them up on the inside. I asked Rush about it—ambiguously to protect her privacy, and he said it could only be one of two things: she was either on her period or she was a virgin.
A virgin. That would kill me. There’s no way Lucky would lie about something like that, or at least I pray not. I thought about texting her last night—seeing if she was okay. Heck, I thought about inviting her out to breakfast, but both options A and B are strictly against the rules when it comes to one-night stands. Lucky wasn’t a one-night stand, though. A dull grin blooms on my lips. I did appreciate the standing. But for the most part, I would have loved to have had her lying down—somewhere private with an entire night to enjoy her properly.
Rush and Eli swoop in. “Let’s call ’em.” Rush knocks back his drink as he nods into the crowd.
“Blonde”—Eli doesn’t waste a moment identifying his potential prey for the evening—“left-hand corner, surrounded by the red sweater society.”
“Redhead for me.” Rush moans as if he’s already on top of her, and knowing him it won’t take long. “I’ve got her in abnormal psych, so this shouldn’t be too hard. It’s easier to land them when you have rapport.”
“What’s this?” Harper comes up dancing sideways and knocks her shoulder into mine. “It’s easier to land them when you have rapport?Wow, you guys are a bunch of cavemen.” She glares at me a moment when she says it.
“Rapport?” Lucky pops up, her lips a shade of candy apple red that I wouldn’t mind licking off. My heart thumps once like the detonating of a bomb once my eyes land on her. Lucky’s hair engulfs her in one dark wave. But it’s what’s going on below the neck that has me struggling to catch my breath. Lucky is a knockout in a tight red dress that ends just below her tight little ass. Her tits peer out at me from her low-cut V as if they demand to look at the person who all but devoured them. I’d do anything for a second chance at what happened back in that dingy laundry room. Just one more bite, lick, taste, feel is all I’m sure I’ll need. I’ve never craved a single girl quite the way I’m craving Lucky.
Harper laughs while turning to her friend. “It’s their MO to get to know a girl before they go in for the—” her face turns as red as a Christmas ornament. “On second thought, I see Justin in the middle of that Kappa pile. I’d best go claim my man.” She takes off like her hair is on fire.
“I get it.” Lucky rocks back on her heels. “You bait them.” She nods over at Rush, and a part of me is relieved that she’s pinning the asshole move on the appropriate asshole. That was never my intention with her. “So, who’s on the menu tonight?”
