I’m glad she escaped the clutches of that nutcase that killed my sister, but a part of me still resents Bryson. Sure, the suicide note wasn’t true, but Stephanie shared with me on more than one occasion that she wished he felt for her what she felt for him. That note may have been fabricated, but it was all gospel as far as I’m concerned. That bitch that pushed my sister to her death knew well enough what was going on. She used my sister to get what she wanted, only she didn’t get the prize—Baya stood in the way. Baya survived. Stephanie didn’t. That’s a pretty crap ending to a pretty crap story.
“Well, Idoknow.” Rush slips his truck in the parking spot right in front. “Looks like destiny is calling. Come on, dude. I’m buying.” He slaps me over the back. “Burgers all around.”
We head inside, hungry as hell from a three-hour practice, my muscles screaming at me to get to bed and stay there. I do a quick sweep of the vicinity to see if I recognize anyone. A part of me is looking for Jet, but he’s just a cover for what my subconscious is really looking to find, but I don’t see Bryson or his lookalike brother, Holt. I bumped into Holt briefly that summer, and he explained away the fact he and Bryson are twins. I couldn’t care less who he was. His face was like a hot iron pressed to an open wound. It hurt like hell just to look at the guy.
Music pumps through the speakers, and an entire herd of coeds breaks out into spontaneous laughter at the table in front of us.
Rush snorts at the sight. “Looks like the buffet is open tonight, boys.”
Ava and her constant chatter about Rush and his goofy grin knife me. I’m not so sure that I’m buying her I-think-Rush-is-oh-so-great routine. A part of me refuses to believe it. She’s too sweet to his sour, too casual to his high anxiety, too… Everything about the fact she’s into Rush vexes me at the moment, every moment to be exact.
“Forget the girls—tonight is about food.” I brush past the crowd, ignoring the purrs and catcalls as we make our way to the back.
“Dude”—Lawson shakes his head as we take our seats—“did you leave your dick at home? Those girls are fucking hot.” He picks up the menu, still shaking his head at the idea. “Emphasis on thefucking.”
“They might be hot”—I growl at Rush a moment—“but you’re taken, lover boy.” The words felt like vomit, even if I didn’t mean them. “Ava has this little schoolgirl crush on you.” I pull my menu forward and try to find the most expensive thing on it sincelover boyhere is buying. “Make sure you stay away from her. I hear her big brother is a real ballbuster.”
“You met her brother?” Lawson nods at the waitress as she comes over.
“I am her brother.”
We put in our orders, and I listen as Rush and Lawson try to figure out which girl at the next table they’d like to pin to their mattress for dessert. I don’t know Lawson as well as I do Rush, but I’m thinking he talks a better game than he plays. However, I’ve seen Rush in action—completely to my misfortune. That white ass of his is the last thing anyone needs to see after midnight—or before. The girl he was with laughed up a storm. She even motioned me over. Nope. Not for me. Rush’s girls rarely are. For a moment, I picture the scene. Only this time the girl’s face is transposed with Ava’s. She motions me over, and this time I go. I sock the living crap out of Rush until he’s halfway in the hall begging for mercy. Then it’s me in that bed with Ava. That happy-to-see-me smile on her panting lips.
“Dude.” Lawson kicks me in the shin. “She’s taking your order.”
“Right.” I blink into my menu a few times before glancing up at the nametag that reads, BAYA. Sandy blonde, big doe eyes. She looks exactly how I remember from that brief encounter at the fair a few years back. I glance behind her a moment in the event Bryson is about to pop up. My heart drums so fast, I can’t hear the music blaring over the speakers anymore. “Steak. Make it rare and extra expensive.” I blink a smile to Rush as she traipses off with our orders.
“Where were you?” Rush doesn’t look all that amused. “I know you, man. I’m here for you. I know it doesn’t get easier.” He gets that far-off look in his eyes a moment. I know what’s on his mind—who to be exact. His mother. Rush always manages to look extra pissed when he thinks of his mom. Rush lost his mother about seven years ago in a traffic accident. A pickup ran a red light and smashed into her Corolla like a freight train. The coroner said she didn’t feel a thing. That’s one of the things that bonded us. We both know how much death sucks and how little time really heals. Death is a bastard, and time is a liar. Maybe I should get that tattooed across my chest right under Stephanie’s name. Too much pain. There isn’t much good left in the world without Steph around.
Ava bounces through my mind like a rubber ball I can’t seem to catch. That smiling face, those laughing eyes telling me it isn’t so. She has so much damn hope, it rubs off on me after we’re together just like that sweet perfume of hers. I like getting back to my room, smelling her sweet scent on me. Just being in her presence is like walking in a ray of holy sunlight. She’s too pure and right to ever be with Rush.
I scowl at him a minute.
“You two having a silent argument?” Lawson looks lost.
“Nope.” Rush gets that shit-eating grin on his face that lets me know he’s about to shovel a pile of bull down my throat. “Grant here is too busy fantasizing about banging his little sister. Dude, you know I’m digging my dick into her first, right?”
A burst of rage pumps through me. “Nobody is digging their junk into any little sister. You want me saying that shit about Lucky?”
“Nobody should say that about Lucky,” Lawson grunts as if it’s a fact. “That girl is a piece of work.”
“Is that because she shut you out?” Now it’s me with the shit-eating grin. I prefer the spotlight on just about anybody else.
“Are you kidding?” Lawson balks at the idea. “I wouldn’t even entertain it. No fantasies here for me. I offered to give her a ride back to Briggs the other night, and she practically pulled out the Mace. I don’t need that brand of psycho in my life.”
“Me thinks you protest too much.” I try to remember what Lucky looks like, but Ava keeps pumping though my mind like a heartbeat. “Ava likes her, so she has to be decent.”
“Ava this, Ava that. You got a hard-on for the girl. Just admit it.” Rush has that smart aleck look on his face, and I can tell the dig is coming. “Too bad she’s mine. It’s gonna hurt for a minute, but as soon as I rip her virginity right off, you’ll get over it, sweetheart. I’m shooting for homecoming, but Halloween is another fun night. In my experience, girls are more prone to turning in their V-cards on anniversaries and national holidays.”
“You’re a piece of shit.” I push my seat back, and it strums like thunder as I lunge for him.
“Whoa!” a deep voice comes from behind as my arms are locked in a vise. I turn to find Jet twisting me in a pretzel.
Baya comes with the food, and I take a step away from the table.
“We’re just messing around.” I pull back and hold my hands up. Jet’s a decent guy. He did the tat of Stephanie’s name for me a few months back. He seemed interested in what happened to her. He really did seem to care. It was nice to have another ear to lean on.
Rush tosses a balled up napkin in my face. “That’s right. Take a moment to digest what I said, sweetie.” He gives a sly wink, and I walk away from the table with a laugh threatening to thump out of my chest. Rush knows how to get under my skin like no one else, and he loves to do it. He’s been like a brother to me, so I can’t fault him for it.
