I walked over to her and handed her the glass. Our fingers brushed for just a moment, but I still felt the lingering current when I sat next to her. Electric. Hot. Some things never changed, even when everything else had.
For a while, neither of us said a word. We just sat there, side by side, like the good old times when silence didn’t mean it was a burden. I tried to find the perfect words, but there were none because I knew that in her eyes, nothing I could say would’ve been anything more than an excuse.
At last, though, Alisa grew impatient. She turned toward me, and her soft hazel eyes grounded me back to the present. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”
“No, I do,” I said, knocking back half my drink in one go, letting the burn in my throat ground me. I’d made her wait long enough already, and now, I was starting to act like a jackass. I simply had to rip off the bandage, and whatever happened next, I’d take it like a man. “You deserve the truth, and I should have been honest with you back then, too.”
I set my glass down on the coffee table and turned to face her properly. She looked at me with worry and anticipation and a quiet calm. All these emotions on her face made her lookeven more innocent, even more beautiful, if such a thing were possible.
“The truth is,” I began, then stopped, struggling to put together feelings into words. “The truth is, you meant the world to me, Alisa. You still do.”
She kept her face straight and non-judgmental, but I saw the slight tremor in her hand as she placed her glass beside mine.
“You were different from anyone I’d ever met,” I continued. “I never felt as close to anyone as I did with you. There was something special about you that I couldn’t put into words and still can’t.”
“Then why did you disappear without an explanation?” she asked softly. “All this time, I thought I wasn’t good enough.”
My heart clenched at that conclusion. “Don’t say that.” I shook my head. “You were always the better one of us both. I thought I had to end it because I believed I could never tell you who I really was and what my family did. I was afraid.”
“What were you afraid of?”
“Of losing you,” I admitted. “You were so… perfect. So innocent. Your world was clean and simple, while mine was… bloody, messy, and violent. I was terrified you’d look at me differently if you knew what kind of man I really was and convinced myself that if you found out, you’d leave me anyway. So, I made the call to leave before you did.”
She shook her head slightly. “You should have let me decide that for myself.”
“I know that now,” I said, the regret burning in my chest like acid. “But then—”
I paused as her hand suddenly reached across the small space between us, her fingers finding mine. The touch was gentle and kind and meant to comfort, but it sent heat rushing through me like a wildfire. She didn’t say anything, just kept her hand there, a silent encouragement to continue.
“Then I found out something about your father,” I said, my voice rougher now.
Her fingers tightened around mine as she paled. “What did you find out?”
“I knew he was the federal prosecutor.” I looked down at our joined hands and marveled at how small hers looked in mine. “But I soon learned that he had spent his career trying to take down the Bratva, and suddenly he was circling our faction like a shark that smelled blood. If he’d succeeded, my entire family would have been in danger.”
I felt her tense beside me, but she didn’t pull her hand away.
“I knew if we stayed together, I’d be putting both of us in an impossible position,” I explained. “You’d have to choose between your father and me, and I couldn’t ask you to do that. And if your father found out his daughter was dating a Lebedev… “
“He would have used me to get to you,” she finished for me, understanding dawning in her eyes.
“Or worse.” I nodded. “So I did the only thing I could think of. I left. I cut all ties and disappeared for the sake of my family.” I swallowed hard, feeling the old pain rising again. “It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done, Alisa. Walking away from you nearly killed me.”
The silence stretched between us, and it felt like it was reaching a boiling point for every second she didn’t speak. I waited for her anger, her disgust, her rejection.
I deserved all of it and more.
But to my surprise, she moved closer until our thighs pressed together on the couch, and her right hand came up to frame my face as she turned my head to face her.
“You idiot,” she said softly with a smile. “You absolute idiot. All this time, you were trying to protect the people you loved, and you never thought to tell me once? I don’t know what to say, Dante, except that I get it.”
My eyes widened with surprise, and my racing heart calmed to a steady beat. She was looking at me like I was light and wonder and goodness, and I felt like she had it all wrong. She had to have had it all wrong.
“Y… You’re not mad?” I asked incredulously, needing to double-check.
“Maybe just a little,” she shrugged with a devilish smile. “You could have told me sooner, you know? Instead of letting me think I wasn’t good enough for you.”
I burst out into a laugh of such utter disbelief, and the joy gushed through me like I river I couldn’t control. I reached out with hands of my own, cupping her cheeks in my palms and pulling her closer, to stare into that face I’d dreamt about for years, and tried so hard not to get lost in these past few months.
