She had seen Gerald in New York and recognized him from the past. That was something Nathaniel imagined he never would have managed on his own. It wasn’t something he wanted to think on, but if his cousin were truly loitering in the past, how had he figured out how to get there?
Nathaniel realized with a horrifying moment of clarity that he hadn’t been nearly as careful with his popping through time gates as he should have been. Heaven only knew what Gerald had seen that he shouldn’t have.
“Does Emma remember all the times she’s gone back?”
Nathaniel dragged himself away from those unsettling thoughts. “Aye.”
“Can you wrench the gates to your own purposes? Change your destination or arrival time?”
Nathaniel looked at him in surprise. “It never occurred to me that I might, so I haven’t tried. What damage would I cause?”
Jamie chewed on his words for so long, Nathaniel began to worry that he’d forgotten what he wanted to say. When he finally spoke, Nathaniel wished he hadn’t.
“I can’t say for certain,” Jamie said slowly, “and I haven’t had your experience of having my destination out of my control. But given what you’ve told me and seeing how your lady has been dragged into something that quite possibly might prove fatal for her, my advice is that you try to go back before she first sees you and close the gate.”
Nathaniel blinked. “What do you mean?”
“Close the gate,” Jamie repeated. “Decide when and where it is that she first sees you, then close that gate before she does. Then you should, as I said before, let her go.”
Nathaniel knew his mouth had fallen open, but he couldn’t do anything to remedy that.
“And how the hell would I do that?” Nathaniel said, doing his damndest not to curse the man sitting across from him. “If I wanted to, mind you, which I don’t.”
“I can’t tell you how,” Jamie said seriously, “just that I think you need to. Name the alternative, Nathaniel. She chooses to go back endlessly—presumably in an effort to somehow save your sorry arse—you go back endlessly to rescue her, you’re endlessly living these half lives in two places.”
“Which I’ve been doing—”
“Alone,” Jamie interrupted pointedly. “You’ve been doing it alone. Now you’re drawing a woman into the circle with you.”
“I didn’t—”
“Not intentionally,” Jamie said stubbornly, “but she is there because of you. You are the only one who can stop this cycle.”
Nathaniel wished he could do something else besides grit his teeth.
“Do you love her?”
Nathaniel decided his response was best made in Gaelic and not very politely.
Jamie only smiled gravely. “When you tell her the same, I would phrase it differently.”
“And how would I tell her that?” Nathaniel asked grimly. “When my whole purpose, if I take your advice, is to avoid meeting her?”
“I’m talking in circles,” Jamie said wearily. “All I can say is that I think you need to allow her to live her life free of yours. The alternative is an endless loop you cannot control.”
Nathaniel set his glass aside and rubbed his hands over his face, not because he was sleepy but because he needed to buy himself time. Jamie had a point, damn him. He either had to save Emma or he had to save himself—
Unless he could do both.
He breathed carefully, unwilling to disturb the thought that suddenly occurred to him lest it rush away from him and he lose it. What if he could solve time’s mystery and keep Emma safe in the future?
If he could do that, then he could solve it all.
He nodded, then looked at Jamie. “I’ll see to it.”
Jamie studied him for a moment or two in silence, then rose. He nodded toward the door. “Let us retreat downstairs. It’s best your lady have no idea what we’ve discussed. For her own sake.”
Nathaniel couldn’t have agreed more with that. He left Jamie’s study with him and walked back downstairs. He studiously ignored how odd it was to be walking through a medieval keep in the current day with a man who had ruled over that keep hundreds of years earlier. He wished he had time to press James MacLeod for more answers to things that puzzled him, but perhaps that would have been only a distraction. He already knew what he needed to do.
