“Are you hungry for dinner?” I ask as I lean down and kiss Eli’s forehead.
She watches me intently. I wish I knew what she was thinking. I want to know all of her thoughts and feelings.
“I should get back to my place. I’m tired, and I have some errands to run. Groceries to buy.”
Guilt gnaws at me. She put everything off so she could watch my daughter.
“I’m sorry, Jessie. I really wanted to spend the afternoon with you. I hate that it ended up this way.”
She shrugs. “Work comes first.”
Ouch. I guess I know how she feels about what happened.
She grabs her purse and offers a small kiss to my cheek. “See you later, Walker.”
I stare at the door long after it clicks shut, guilt clawing at my chest. Jessie shows up for me, for Eli, in ways I don’t deserve. And yet the ongoing thing she doesn’t know—the secret I’ve buried deep—hangs between us like a ticking time bomb. I don’t doubt my love for her anymore. That’s been solidified. I doubt her ability to handle what could destroy her if she knew the truth.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Jessie
The man is so infuriating. He looked miserable when he came home from work last weekend. I’ve kept my mouth shut this entire week because I know he’s stressed out, trying to manage everything.
I know he wants to spend time with Eli. But I know he is still committed to his work. It’s impossible for me to watch him, knowing this isn’t what he wanted. Maybe I’m wrong though. People change. They evolve.
Could I be wrong for holding it against him that he wants something different from what he said he did when he was twenty?
One thing I know for certain: my heart already belongs to him and Eli. When I’m with them, it feels like I finally fit, like everything inside of me is whole. And that terrifies me. Because if I open my mouth and tell him, if I let him see just how much I’ve fallen, I risk shattering all of it.
What if loving them out loud is the very thing that makes me lose them?
So, instead of doing the thing I know I should—sit Walker down and demand clarity, force him to talk about what we’re doing and this secret he guards so tightly—I do the opposite.
Honestly, how bad could it be? It’s not like he murdered someone or has some dark criminal past. More likely, it’s something stupid, like he slept with someone I couldn’t stand. Annoying, sure, but not life-ruining.
I push the conversation off again, pretending it can wait.
I head over to his place after work. A Friday night, where I plan to slip into the comfort of his arms and lose myself in a quiet night with him and Eli. For now, it feels easier than facing the truth.
The moment I open the door, Mrs. M is holding Eli in the air, naked, as Walker stands there, covered in what definitely looks like Eli’s poop. It’s all over his once-crisp white work shirt. He looks stunned while Mrs. M appears to be holding in a laugh.
I curl my lips in so he doesn’t see me holding back a smile. “What happened here?”
His eyes soften when they meet mine. “I got home at the end of her bath. On the way to the changing table, she decided to let one loose on me.”
Mrs. M looks at him with adoration. I can tell she has a soft spot for Walker. “Back in the day, if this happened to my husband, he’d be whining like a baby. You’re a good man.”
“Here.” I run over to the changing table and grab some wipes to help clean Eli up just enough for another bath. “Walker, go throw your clothes in the washer and take a shower. We’ll take care of Eli.”
“You sure?” he asks.
“You smell,” I tell him. “Get out of here.”
He chuckles to himself and walks off. I grab another fresh wipe and drag it along Eli, then toss it in the garbage.
“Okay, I think that’s about as good as we can do,” I tell Mrs. M. “I can give her a bath. You go home.”
“Oh, I can’t leave you two in the middle of this chaos. Let me help you at least get set up for another bath. Then I’ll get going.”
