I’m not sure how long we make out. Long enough that when she pulls away from me, my lips feel slightly bruised. I hold on to her for dear life, trying like hell to make sure this memory will forever replace the old one.
Her forehead falls to mine, and she moves her legs so she can sink further down onto me. Her bare pussy now rubbing against my dick, which immediately becomes hard. He knows he’s right there and can sink into heaven with one little push.
But before we can even think about that, Eli’s soft cries ring through the receiver. She’s only fussing at this point, but I know I will need to go in there and get her back to sleep. Jessie’s eyes hold mine for a moment. I can tell she’s about to leave, and I can’t bear the thought, not after what we just did. I need to be close to her.
“Spend the night with me,” I beg as I run my hands up and down her arms.
She worries her lip as I watch her contemplate what she should do. I know there are more questions than answers about us at this point. I understand her trepidation. But that doesn’t mean I can help the fact that I have lost all ability to fight my feelings anymore.
“Please. I don’t want to be apart from you after all of this. I just want to hold you,” I admit.
Her chest rises and falls with a long, deep breath. “Okay,” she whispers.
I lean forward and kiss her forehead. “Good. I’m going to go see if I can rock her back to sleep. Why don’t you come with me so you can grab something from my dresser to sleep in?”
She follows me into my bedroom, pulling something from my dresser and disappearing. After a couple minutes she comes in wearing a T-shirt of mine that goes down to the top of her knees.
Emotion catches in my throat.
She reaches for Eli, who is still fussing in my arms. “I’ll take her. You get in bed and rest. You’ve gotta be exhausted.”
“You don’t have to. That’s not why I’m asking you to stay.”
She smiles. “I know that. I want to. I miss her.”
I stand up and hand Eli over to Jessie, who looks down at my daughter like she already loves her. I rub my chest as it begins to feel tight, like it’s breaking in two.
The moment I lie down in bed, despite Eli still making little whimpers, my body reminds me just how tired I am. I try to fight sleep until Jessie comes to bed, but I lose the battle within minutes.
Chapter Seventeen
Jessie
The smell of coffee and something amazing wakes me from my sleep. I roll over onto my back and stretch my arms over my head. I open my eyes, and for a second, I forget where I am. Then I look around and see the bassinet in the corner and yesterday comes crashing back to me.
A smile takes over my face. Last night was incredible. We didn’t even have sex, but it was the best orgasm of my life. He was so attentive to me, listening to my body and what it liked. I felt him adjust if I moaned or gasped.
The way he looked at me, like I was a piece of treasure.
But even as the memory warms me, a knot twists in my chest. He’s made it clear that he can’t be with me. There have been no promises. There is no future. Just stolen hours that are starting to leave me aching for what I know he’ll never allow himself to give.
I should walk away. Protect myself before the inevitable happens. Before he shuts down and pushes me out of his life for good. But I can’t. Not when he touches me like I’m the only thingthat matters. Not when he looks at me as if I’m his salvation, even while swearing he can’t be mine.
So, I let myself sink in the memory, even knowing it’s dangerous. Even knowing my heart is already halfway broken just by loving him this much.
I throw the covers off me, shocked that I slept so well last night.
After I got Eli back to sleep and crawled into bed, Walker was out. I knew he must’ve been exhausted. This has been a lot for him, but the way he has taken on the role as her father has been amazing to watch. It’s hard not to fall for the guy when you see him with Eli.
She only got up one more time in the middle of the night. As Walker was feeding her a bottle, I heard him calmly whispering to her as I went in and out of sleep. I’m hoping that means he got some decent sleep too.
A glance at the clock tells me it’s already nine in the morning. Shit. He’s probably been up for hours.
I open the door and walk to the kitchen, where he is standing in front of the stove in nothing but his low-slung sweatpants. Why the heck is that so sexy? I press my thighs together as I watch his back muscles strain with each move he makes.
As I walk further in his direction, he cranes his neck and glances over his shoulder.
A smile takes over his face. Swoon. I’m toast.
