“Motherhood is an entire world of contradictions.”
“And Roman? Is he handling it well?”
I swear if red hearts could appear above her head at the mention of his name, there would be hundreds.
“He’s the best father. It all seems so natural for him. I catch myself just staring at him and Addie all the time, wondering how I could deserve such a perfect life.”
“That’s bananas. You, out of anyone I know, deserve it.”
I mean it too. Eva is such a kind soul. She has been my best friend since high school. We’ve known each other since junior high. We’ve been through a lot together. I love seeing her happily ever after come true. Though it does make me wonder if I’m cursed.
The dating game has not been kind to me. I always seem to attract the dicks. Men—and I’m using that word generously—who seem to have a Peter Pan complex.
“Walker is hilarious with Addie.” She laughs behind her coffee cup that the waitress just filled.
My stomach clenches at the mention of her brother.
“You should see him. He holds her for a minute, then panics when she starts fidgeting.”
I chuckle slightly, tired of acting indifferent about the man who ruined me. “I can see that. Walker doesn’t give offI’m a natural with babyvibes.”
“Aw, but he’s sweet with her. He’ll get there. He’s never been around babies. I think I was the last one he was around, and he was six.”
Eva doesn’t know about my history with her brother. To her, it’s just a friendly rivalry because we’ve known each other since I was twelve and he was eighteen.
“I’m so happy for you. Addie is adorable. I miss her already, but I’ve been so busy all week.”
“You don’t have to feel bad if you can’t come over every week.”
“I don’t feel bad. I just miss her. I want to snuggle.”
It’s true. Addie’s snuggles are amazing. I love the feeling of her warm head tucked under my chin. I swear my blood pressure instantly drops.
We eat our breakfast quickly so she can get back to Addie to nurse her.
I stroll down the streets of Manhattan as I realize I’m at an impasse in my life.
At twenty-seven, I’m too old to go out and party like I used to. It feels meaningless.
With nothing else to do this afternoon, I walk into the nearest coffee shop and buy my favorite iced coffee with caramel syrup.
I probably shouldn’t be drinking all this caffeine after sweating every ounce of fluid in my body, but I need this. I need a distraction from the creeping loneliness that’s been plaguing me.
Central Park is only a couple of minutes from me. In lieu of going home, I decide a walk around the park might help. Maybe it’ll clear my head, give me some ideas on a good reset.
Maybe I just need a new haircut. Something crazy and daring. Not my current long blonde hair. Bangs maybe?
And just like that, I’m making an appointment on my phone as I sip on my drink. They can’t get me in for three weeks, whichsucks, but I guess it’ll give me time to figure out what I want to do.
Bangs seem fun, but I also get annoyed if I get any hair in my face, so the idea scares me. What if they piss me off all day long?
This is what my life has come to. Obsessing over bangs as I stroll through the park by myself with no sense of direction. I need a change. I just don’t know what my next move should be.
Chapter Two
Walker
“Did you hear the rumors?” Pierce asks as I make another cup of coffee in the break room.
