“And what did he say? What’s the next step?”
“Nothing. He said the investigation is concluded for now, and we should return to our normal lives.”
“Concluded! It’s certainly not concluded.” Something akin to panic clawed at her insides,“We still don’t know the identity of Lord A. We haven’t apprehended anyone involved. There’s much to do.”
“Nevertheless, those were Dalton’s orders.”
No, they couldn’t yank the investigation out of her hands. Not yet. She needed this mission to keep working with Nathaniel. To work through her feelings. What was she going to do now?
“Humph! And why did the two of you decide that behind my back? You should have taken me with you when you visitedDalton. You left me out on purpose, and now the two of you have decided to wrap up the investigation and have left me out of the decisions.”
“That’s not true,” he bristled. “First of all, it was not a joint decision. Dalton decided, I just followed orders. It was not my intention to leave you out of anything. I had been working on that damn cipher for days. The moment I broke it, I just wanted to take it to Dalton and be done with it. I gave him the decoded documents and came to you straightaway. Now we are free to focus our minds and energy on us.”
That’s exactly what she couldn’t do. Desperate, she lashed out.
“That’s why you took me off the case. To seduce me to your will.”
“Bloody hell, Alice!” He stood abruptly, frowning ferociously. “You make it sound as if I’m scheming against you. Is it wrong to want my wife back?”
“What you want is to domesticate me. To turn me into your perfect little viscountess. Your society wife, who sips tea and organizes parties. What about what I want?”
“We can’t always have everything we want, exactly in the way we want it. Life and love are about compromise. About making choices. I had to. So I ask you, Alice, what do you want the most? Me or your spy work?”
“And why must I choose between the two? Are you admitting you’d strip me of my freedom? That you would like to put me in some gilded cage for your convenience and amusement?”
He looked at her as if she had sprouted horns. “I don’t know what’s gotten into you. But you know damn well I’ve never curtailed your freedom. If anything, the opposite is true. I let you go, even though it nearly broke me inside. I did it because I thought it was what you wanted. Instead, it made us both miserable. I’m trying to correct the mistakes of the past.”
“There are several ways to correct the mistakes. Or perhaps there’s nothing to be done.”
For long moments, he studied her, saying nothing. When she thought she couldn’t stand the silence anymore, he spoke. His voice was controlled, calm. His nostrils flaring with the effort to keep it so. “You are afraid. That’s why you are fighting me. Pushing me away. What are you afraid of, Alice?”
His arrogance in daring to name her feelings, to claim to understand her motivations when she didn’t even fully understand them herself, infuriated her even more. She raised her chin.
“I am not afraid. I am not a coward. What is there to be afraid of anyway? I simply know what I want and what I don’t.”
He nodded once, brusquely. Not an agreement, but a concession. “Fine. Have it your way. That being the case, I’ll be traveling to my estate tomorrow. There are some matters I need to settle there.”
The news was like a knife sinking into her heart. He was leaving her again? So soon? For how long? Why? He kept leaving her, and she missed him so much when he was away. She wanted to beg him not to go, to stay here with her. But pride came to her rescue once more.
“Of course. Now that this mission is over, you must return to your life and your duties. Just don’t expect me to be here when you come back. Maybe I’ll take another assignment. I’ll ask Dalton—”
He moved so fast that by the time she realized his intention, she was already against the wall, his arms braced on either side of her shoulders, caging her in with his body. The stance looked menacing, controlling, but it was neither. She could escape, even inflict damage, very easily. In truth, he was the one in a vulnerable position, and they both knew it. He was covering her as an act of protection. Leaving himself wide open for her attack.
His voice rasped in her ear. “You’ll go nowhere; you hear me? I’ll only be gone a few days. If I had my druthers, you would come with me, but I doubt you’d accept. Promise me you won’t do anything rash or put yourself in danger while I’m gone.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. I can take care of myself.”
“Yes, like you took care when you followed those men by yourself and walked right into a trap.”
“I’ve already told you it won’t happen again.” Must he keep harping about that?
“I mean it, Alice. No shenanigans. Either come with me or wait for me here. We’ll talk when I come back.”
“Stop trying to order me about, Nathaniel! I’ve been taking care of myself for the past five years.”
“Damn you, Alice. Must you defy me in everything? I’m making a simple request for your safety and my peace of mind. Promise me, or I swear I’ll throw you over my shoulder and carry you off.”
The image made her lips twitch with amusement despite her anger and hurt. She was being unreasonable.He was only concerned about her safety. But damn it, she didn’t feel very reasonable. She was hurt. Feeling bereft, abandoned. And adrift. He was leaving her… But he had said she could go with him. No. That was just another of his manipulations. A way to force her into his life.
