“But I like it when you tell me. When you admit it to yourself. Let’s see how long you can last.”
So saying, he withdrew his fingers from her, and delivered two more slaps. The crack of his hand upon her flesh was loud, shocking, and arousing. She tried once again to close her legs, to find relief for the insistent ache in her core, and once again, he prevented it. Pressing a hand to her back to keep her down, he continued to set her arse on fire with his stinging slaps, then caressing her core with infinite tenderness.
By the time he pulled her to the edge of the mattress and sank his enormous cock inside her in one quick plunge, she was delirious with need. Her growl of pleasure sounded like a wild animal’s.
He set a punishing pace, allowing no retreat, no reprieve. But she didn’t want any. She didn’t want gentle. She wanted this savage possession, this wild mating.
His hand sneaked around her hip and under her, to tease and caress her bud while his body filled her. It was too much.
The orgasm he had been building exploded, overtaking every part of her body, and she screamed his name as she shook and shuddered with her orgasm. He increased his pace, drawing out her pleasure, until with a powerful, deep shove, he joined her in her release.
Later,astheylayspent and bare, tangled in the rumpled sheets, he traced her shoulder with reverent fingers. “I’ll withdraw the divorce petition at once.”
Her heart squeezed. But aloud she said, “Perhaps…perhaps you should not.”
His head jerked back. “What?”
And thus the fragile peace between them fractured once more…
Alice rose, bringing the sheet to cover her bare chest as she sat cross-legged against the pillows. Nathaniel also rose, but he left the bed to pace, naked, around the room. Restless as a caged lion.
“We are good together, Nate,” she said softly. “As long as we are working side by side, as long as we’re here. In our old house. Away from Greystone. Away from your estate. Away from your title. Nothing has changed in that regard. I’m still not suited to be an aristocrat, and your family will never accept me.”
His head snapped up. “That’s not true.” He came closer, eyes burning with conviction. “I’ve seen you play every role under the sun—servant, widow, duchess, spy. You are the smartest, most capable woman I’ve ever known. Do you really think you couldn’t play the role of an aristocrat? And better than half the ladies who were born to it? Hell, you’ve aristocratic blood in your veins yourself.”
She shook her head, clutching the sheet tighter. “It’s different when I’m just playing a role. It’s not personal, it doesn’t matter. I can come out of it. But to try to become the role? I lived it. Ifeltit. At your estate, with your mother, your sister-in-law… Iwas profoundly unhappy. I was rejected at every turn. Evenyouchanged. I lost myself there. I can’t go back.”
He sat on the edge of the bed, close enough that she could feel the heat radiating from him. His voice softened. “It will be different this time.”
Alice scoffed. “No it won’t. What makes you think that? Just because we spent a few weeks together doing what we used to do before the problems started, you think I’m now suited for the role for which I proved to be completely incompetent?”
“Yes. You will learn, like I did. I’m not saying there won’t be issues, but I’ll help you.”
“Yes, that is right. You learned. You improved. You flourished, Nathaniel.” She pulled the sheet up, wrapping it more tightly around herself. “Once I left. Without me. Don’t you see I’m the one who doesn’t belong in the picture? I’m the one who dragged you down the first time. And I will do so again.”
“That’s a fallacy if ever there was one. You didn’t hinder me. We were both new at the roles that had been thrust upon us. I didn’t know how to manage. But we know better this time. We can learn from our past mistakes.”
He raised his hand to brush his fingers over the slope of her shoulder. Down her arm. His voice was even. Persuasive. Reasonable. God, how could he stand there, distractingly naked and not at all self-conscious?
“What I learned is that I don't belong there,” she rasped through a throat that was tightening with pain and want. “You think it will be different this time. I believe that as soon as I move into Greystone Manor the same problems will surface. I will founder like a ship with a cannon hole. Once I’m no longer the capable agent, but instead the incapable viscountess you will be disappointed in me. Oh, you will try to mask it, but I’ll feel it. The slow withdrawal. The polite indifference. The extinguishing of the fire and passion and excitement. And I will try, I will dietrying to be what you want. The kind of woman who holds your attention and your love, but in the end, it will all be in vain,”
“Enough!” He shot up from the bed, swinging his hand in a wide arc in front of him as if to slash her argument. “You are not only misjudging yourself, but misjudging me as well. I was never disappointed in you. You have held my attention, and my heart, from the moment I met you, over ten years ago. Whatever I’ve attained as a viscount is not because you left me, it’s been in spite of it. It would have been a lot easier, or at least I would have been a lot happier if you had stayed. I absolutely believe we would have figured it out in time. But you never gave it a chance. You left when things got tough.” He punctuated his words with an accusatory finger in her direction. His voice had become louder, angrier, as he spoke.
The accusation shimmered in the air between them. His resentment. His hurt. And he was right this time. It wasn’t like his belief in her adultery, which had proved false. She had abandoned him. Regardless of her reasons, she had jumped ship.
“You are right. I failed you as well. I’m a quitter. A coward. And that’s why I don’t deserve to come back now, to enjoy the fruits of a life I didn’t help you build. This,” She gestured around her to their home, their bedroom, their bed. “This is the only thing I deserve.”
“That was not a recrimination, Alice.. I’m just pointing out that my life was not made easier by you leaving.”
“All the more reason why I don’t deserve it.”
“We can argue about this all day and we will continue to disagree on what you deserve. But in the end, it doesn’t matter, because the bottom line is that I want—no, I need—to share my life with you. We made vows, Alice.”
“I’m sorry. I can’t accept it.” Tears were streaming unchecked down her cheeks. And she swiped at them in annoyance. She didn’t want to cry. She didn’t want to beweakin front of him.
He took a step toward her, but she stopped him with a raised hand. “It’s a precious gift, one I can’t be trusted to keep safe. I won’t do that to you. I won’t carry that burden on my conscience. And besides—my life is here, in London. My work, my purpose. Everything that makes me who I am is here. Your duty is to your estate, to your family. And that will always come first.”
“You come first. You are my wife.”
