Her breath caught in a gasp, it must have been the night before John’s latest departure for Egypt. He had visited to say goodbye and to give her the address where she could reach him if needed. He had ended up staying over. As he did often enough that she considered one of the guest bedrooms John’s room. He stayed over when he was just passing through London for a day or two, since his father’s townhouse was cold and formal, and he much preferred the warmth of Alice’s home. She didn’t mind. In fact, she encouraged him to stay. It made her feel less lonely.
She already knew where Nathaniel was going with this story. “Oh, no.”
“Yes, indeed. I stood outside this house the entire night, Alice. I saw him enter, and I watched him leave at dawn. I witnessed the way you embraced him at the door—God, I thought I was going to go mad.”
“Why didn’t you tell me this before?” she whispered, horrified at what he must have thought. “Damnation, Nathaniel, why didn’t you knock on the door, or even knock it down and barge into the house that same night? You would have found out the truth much sooner.”
He looked at her with tormented eyes. “I was afraid. Afraid of finding you two in bed together. Afraid of the violence of my thoughts, and ashamed of my feelings. There were a hundred things I could, and should, have done. But I just slinked away, trying to process what I saw. Explain it. Excuse it.”
“My God, Nathaniel.” Her fingers gripped the edge of the entrance table until her knuckles turned white.
“But that moment festered in my heart until it drove me to petition for divorce. And then, just when I had started to believe that maybe I had been wrong, I returned from my estate to find you had left London with him. How was I not to conclude the worst? Do you even realize the agony you have put me through?”
Her knees nearly buckled beneath her, and she leaned heavily against the table.Good God.From his perspective, her innocent actions looked damning indeed. “So you concluded that John was my…” she swallowed, God, she couldn’t even say it without cringing. “My lover.”
He barked a mirthless laugh. “Don’t pretend you didn’t know. It was plain in the petition. You received it weeks ago.”
“Double damn,” she breathed. “I never opened the letter.”
His gaze narrowed. “What?”
She darted into the drawing room in a daze, tugged open the drawer of her desk, and pulled out the solicitor’s envelope, the red wax seal still unbroken. She held it out with trembling fingers. “See for yourself.”
Nathaniel stared at the letter as if it were a viper. “You didn’t open it? Even after I warned you you’d be receiving it?”
Her chin rose again, though her voice shook. “Especially not after your warning. Maybe for the same reason you didn’t barge in when you thought I had taken a lover. It was too painful, Nathaniel. I could not bear to read your accusations set down in ink.”
“Not even to deny them? To defend yourself?”
“What good would it have done? You seemed so resolute. Would you have believed me? It’s not like I have proof of my innocence.
“Of course I would have!”
“Would you?” Her eyes glittered with unshed tears. “Did you believe me when I told you your family made my life miserable behind your back? When I said they sabotaged my every effort?”
“That was different,” he said hoarsely. “I was a fool. I’ve admitted as much. But I had never doubted your fidelity until you gave me reason—damn good reason—to doubt. After that night, I made inquiries, Alice. I learned it was not the only timehe had stayed. That you two had gone off on a mission together. Alone. For weeks!”
“You mean Egypt?” she snapped. “That mission was work, Nathaniel. Nothing more.”
“And I was supposed to be reassured by that?” He advanced on her, fury and anguish radiating from him. “I know what missions entail. Close quarters. Shared danger. Shared—” He broke off with a growl, bracing one hand against the wall beside her head, his face so close she could feel the heat of his breath. His other hand came up to cradle her cheek, rough and tender at once. “Damn you, Alice.”
And then his mouth claimed hers.
The kiss was fierce, desperate, filled with rage and love and the kind of relief that unraveled her bones. She melted into him, grasping his lapels, unable, unwilling, to resist.
A loud throat-clearing broke them apart.
John stood where they had left him, expression grim but eyes softened by a measure of understanding. “If you will excuse me,” he said. “I only came with Greystone to make certain you were safe. To protect you if…if there was a reason you had hidden our connection. If you wished for divorce, I meant to support you.”
Nathaniel whirled on him. “Protect her? Fromme? Do not make me laugh. I have never wished anything but Alice’s good. She needs no protection from me. Iamher protector.”
“Yes, I see that now,” John replied, squaring up to him. “And I recognize she is also formidable enough to stand up for herself. Still, you cannot fault a man for trying to protect his sister.”
“Oh, stop it, the pair of you,” Alice cut in, pressing fingers to her temple. “John, I thank you, but I need no referee. Nathaniel is not, nor has he ever been, a threat to me. Nathaniel”—her eyes sought his, pleading now—“please, make an effort with John. He is the only family I have left, and he has been nothing but a good brother. Truly, you two should be the best of friends.”
Nathaniel looked at her, then at John, then took a deep breath. Slowly, he extended his hand. “You heard Alice’s wishes. Now that I know the truth, I have no quarrel with you. On the contrary—I thank you for caring for her when I did not.”
John grasped his hand in a firm shake. “So long as you never cause her pain again, we should get along famously. And now, I will leave you to it. You clearly have much to discuss.” His gaze softened on Alice. “For what it’s worth, I hope it works out.”
