“I can alight from a coach by myself, you know,” she quipped, always independent. Always unwilling to compromise. He wouldn’t have any of it tonight.
Ignoring her, he closed his hands around her waist and lifted her down, depositing her on her own two feet in front of him, as close as they could be without actually touching. He kept an arm around her waist for support as he guided her to the front door and opened the door himself, ushering her in and lighting the entrance lamp with the matches always kept by the door.
Light exploded around them, and he closed and locked the door, taking her coat from her and discarding his own outer garment and hat. She looked at him with a touch of surprise.
“You are staying?”
“Yes.” He paused in the act of removing his gloves and captured her gaze. “Unless I am not welcome here anymore.”
“You are welcome. I just didn’t think you’d want to.”
He tilted his head. “Why would you think that, Alice? I thought we were rebuilding something.”
“I thought so too, but then you left. And you were gone for so much longer than you told me you would be. I received no word from you. No explanation as to why your plans had changed. Nothing to indicate you missed me.”
“I already told you, I did write to you. I explained there was a plague affecting the crops at my estate, and I needed to stay to deal with that personally. I said I missed you and would return as soon as I was able. I even invited you to join me there. Do you think I’m lying about that?”
She stared at him for a heartbeat. “No. I don’t think you are lying. But I didn’t receive your letter. I sent you a message as well and never got a response.”
“I didn’t get your message either.”
“Are you telling me you wrote to me, and I wrote to you, but neither letter reached the other?”
He nodded, holding her gaze. An ugly suspicion formed in his mind. His jaw clenched so hard his molars ached. “That can’t be a coincidence, can it?” he asked.
She shook her head slowly. “Do you have any theories as to what might have happened, Nathaniel?”
She asked the question pleasantly. Too pleasantly. Like she already knew the answer but was trying to spoon-feed it to a simpleton.
“You suspect my mother.”
“Don’t you?”
He raked his hands through his hair, laced his fingers at his nape, facing away from her.
“Unfortunately, I do as well. It’s the only explanation. Someone intercepted our letters, and I can’t think of anyone with as much interest in doing so as she.”
“So do you believe me now when I tell you your mother hates me and doesn’t want me as your wife?
“But it’s not her opinion that counts, Alice. Only what we want matters. So I ask you. What do you want?”
She opened her mouth to answer. He silently begged her to say she wanted him. By her side. As her husband. Forever. He wanted her to say that the deal with Ardmore was not what he thought. That he was mistaken about everything. God, he had never wanted to be wrong more in his life.
But no sound emerged from her mouth. He had never realized before now that silence could hurt so much.
His upper lip tugged to the side in disappointment. “I guess that’s your answer then. If you don’t know what you want by now, you must not love me as you said you did.”
“That’s not fair, Nathaniel! I’m exhausted. We haven’t seen each other in days. There are still secrets and misunderstandingsbetween us, and yet you come here out of the blue, demanding answers and life-altering decisions. What if I turned the tables on you? Do you know what you want?”
He advanced on her, his fury turning into something cold and hard. His hands planted on the wall on either side of her head, and he leaned in, caging her with his body. “I do. My wants haven’t changed since the day I met you. It’s very simple, dear. I want you. In my bed. In my life.”
“But you petitioned for divorce.” Her voice was a wounded whisper, and the thought that he might have caused her hurt with his actions stabbed at his heart. And yet…
“Because you left me. I thought that’s what you wanted. I thought you had moved on. Replaced me.”
She shook her head slowly, her gaze never straying from his. “No. I could never replace you.”
“Then prove it. Let’s forget everything that separates us and be together. I want a future with you. Let’s build a quiet life, a peaceful life. I’m tired of the late-night assignments. The lies, intrigues, and danger. Of the blood in our hands. I can’t stand for you to continue to endanger yourself.”
