Soon, he’d have to let her go. Wang could see the day approaching like the swollen black clouds of a thunderstorm. But not yet. Maybe in a month? She reached the far end of the room and turned, walking back to him. Her face was radiant with hopeful joy. He took in her delicate features, so dear to him. The finely arched eyebrows, the small nose, the rosebud lips that were so innocent and so naughty.
She appeared fragile, but she was strong. Oh, he knew she wouldn’t agree. Esther thought he was the strong one. But in truth, he was in awe of her. Of her determination, her resilience, her openness.
How could he bear to let her go? But how could he keep her? These months stolen away from reality couldn’t endure. They had escaped scandal so far by avoiding society. But once she returned to England, she would have to reenter the world to which she had been born. Her daughter was entering society, and she needed to be there by her side. It was the reason she had done all of this. It was her purpose.
And he? There was no place for him in their lives. The British aristocracy might tolerate him as long as he stayed on the fringes, a silent character they need not pay attention to. But they would never accept him among their ranks. Even here in America, he felt his standing eroding with each passing year. He would only be a liability to her and her daughter. And they didn’t deserve that.
Esther reached him and flashed him a bright smile. “Well? How did I do?”
“Splendidly. You are stronger every day. Before the month is out, you shall be dancing and running.”
She laughed, the sound like the musical notes of a flute. “Not quite. But I hope to be able to dance again someday. Will you dance with me?”
He shook his head slowly. “I told you I can’t dance.”
“Of course you can. You may have never tried, but I’ve yet to see someone move with more elegance than you. Your feet are light, your every movement graceful. Those exercises you do look like a dance.”
“Tai Chi?” He chuckled. “I guess in a way they are, but I don’t know how to dance the waltz or any western dances.”
“I will show you. And then we can dance together,” she replied, full of optimism.
He didn’t contradict her. Far be it from him to take away her joy, but he knew it was unlikely they would ever have the occasion to dance together.
But that didn’t mean they couldn’t have some fun. In the months Esther had been in New York, she had barely seen more than the inside of his house and this hospital. He had given her no respite from her treatment, and she had taken every challenge in stride and surpassed every expectation. Perhaps it was time to celebrate the victories.
“Let’s take the day off tomorrow,” he said impulsively. “We should celebrate your victory.”
Her eyes lit up. “That’s a splendid idea! Where will you take me?”
“Eager to ditch the therapies, are you?”
“The therapies? Yes. Everything else? No. Not a chance.”
And therein was the problem. Because when the therapies ended, so must everything else end.
CHAPTER 18
Autumnfilledtheairas Wang helped Esther into the open carriage. The air was sharp but invigorating, carrying the mingling scents of roasted chestnuts and spiced apples from a nearby vendor. Before them, The Mall stretched like a golden tunnel. Beneath their carriage wheels, leaves crunched softly, a reminder of the season’s inevitable shift.
Esther tucked a woolen shawl around her shoulders, but raised her cheeks, pink from the cold, towards the cool autumn sun.
“Ah, this is glorious. I’ve lived in confinement for so long that I almost forgot how lovely the outdoors can be.”
“Yes, you have. These past few months, you have only gone outside to travel from the house to the hospital and back. And before we started the therapy, you were almost a recluse.”
Her smile held a tint of sadness. “I didn’t want to put people to the trouble of having to cart me around and was ashamed to be seen in public. What a waste of time and life.”
“But you have been going out with me even before you could walk.”
She shrugged. “Your presence imparts courage. I feel…stronger. Not so alone. Like I can face the world.”
She could not know how much those words moved him. He wanted to be her rock. Her protector. Always. Lifting one of her gloved hands, he placed a kiss on the palm.
When the carriage reached The Boathouse, Wang stepped down first, lifting his arms to circle her waist and bring her down from the carriage. Gently, as if she were made of glass, he set her down on the ground. But he needn’t have worried. She stood, steady and sure—so much more than she had been months ago.
They walked along the lake, where the water reflected the hues of the trees. Now and then, her steps faltered. Every time, Wang caught her elbow without thought, steadying her was a reflex more ingrained than breathing.
“Are you tired?” he asked softly.
