“Yes, thirty-five years. I see your mind is already racing to conclusions, and you are on the right track. From that relationship, a child was born.” The duke fidgeted, then added, “You.”
Gabriel shot up from his seat, shocked to the core. Unable to make sense of all the implications this revelation had. His whole life was being torn down and rearranged in front of him. So many things suddenly made sense, and so many others didn’t.
He went to pace in front of the windows. He wanted to deny this. To forget it. To escape from here and run. Why now? What did it matter, anyway? But it must matter, or so the duke had said.
“Are you sure about this?” An inane question, he knew. But he was still trying to cling to any possibility of denying the truth.
“I am. Without a doubt. Besides the timing of things, I have but to look at you to find proof you are my offspring.”
“We don’t look alike.” Why he felt the need to point it out wasn’t clear.
The duke chuckled at that. “Don’t we? Come here.”
When he got closer, the duke held both hands in front of him. “Place your hands next to mine,” Gabriel did, reluctantly noting the similarities. The duke’s hands might be old and frail with age, but there was no mistaking the bone structure, the long, elegant fingers, and broad, strong palms. Even the shape of the nails was the same.
“Granted, we have similar hands. But that is hardly proof of paternity.”
“Look at that portrait on top of the fireplace. That is my father at about the same age you are now. If you can see past the hairstyle, it could almost be you.”
Gabriel looked and was impressed despite himself. Once one got past the wig of the previous century, the resemblance was uncanny.
“Your resemblance to me is less marked. But it is there. In the eyes, the nose, the shape of the jaw.”
Gabriel’s mind was swirling with so many questions...so many emotions.
“Did my father... I mean, the previous earl, know?”
“Yes.”
“Then why did he claim me?”
The duke shrugged. “Pride, probably. He didn’t have an heir. And given the fact that he sired no children, legitimate or otherwise, I would guess he was incapable, and he knew it. To admit you were not his son was to admit he had been cuckolded. And then, to fail to beget an heir of his own, would have exposed his deficiency to the world.”
“Why didn’tyouclaim me? Why did you let him have me?” Gabriel asked, old anger and pain resurfacing and coloring his voice.
“I couldn’t. Your mother begged me not to cause a scandal, and Brentworth promised to raise you as his own. With the condition I never came near you or told you I was your father. That’s why I only approached you after he died.”
“Raise me as his own?” Gabriel scoffed. “You wouldn’t say that if you knew the way he treated me.”
“I thought it was the best for you. If I had claimed you, you would have been a bastard. Your mother would have been ruined and ostracized. This way you would be legitimate, the heir to an earldom. You would have prestige and a place in society.”
Gabriel choked out a bitter bark of laughter. “For all the good those things have done to me. I have a ruined earldom and had a childhood from hell. Maybe I would have been better off being your bastard than theEarl’sheir.”
“I am so sorry. I know it is inadequate, but it is true. I never intended to cause you suffering. I always kept abreast of yourwhereabouts. But I had to do it in secret. I know you were a brilliant student and an outstanding officer. When you left the army, I hired someone to look after you. Your valet, Thakur, is in my employ. I did the best I could under the circumstances.”
“You have been spying on me through my valet?” Gabriel was aghast on several levels. He considered Thakur a friend. The man had been with him through thick and thin. Was everything in his life a lie?
“Not spying. Thakur is no spy. He considers himself in my debt because I once provided a service for him and his family, so he’s someone I trust. I told him to get close to you and inform me if you were ever in trouble or needed help. That’s all. He doesn’t report to me on your every move.”
Gabriel didn’t want to hear the duke’s excuses and explanations. He walked to the window and tried to soothe his ragged emotions by staring into the serene landscape. It didn’t work. Cruelty, strife, and struggle had marred his life, and all because of this arrangement his “parents” had made. The truth was, he had no parents. TheEarlhad been a cruel bastard who took pleasure in making his life miserable, his mother a feeble coward who never had the spine to stand up to her husband, not even to defend her child. And the duke... the duke simply had not been there.
And him? He was just an unworthy bastard. Quite literally. The sense of being out of place, of not belonging, had never been stronger than at this moment. He didn’t deserve the name he bore. He shouldn’t be the Earl of Brentworth. The old earl had called him a mistake. That’s what he was. He should have never been born. He knew both his parents had wished it so. At long last, he understood theEarl’shatred. He didn’t condone it. But now at least he understood it. He never stood a chance of earning the old earl’s approval, much less his love.
“Why are you revealing this now?” It came as a ragged whisper, and he cleared his throat.
“Maybe I want to make amends. That’s why I befriended you and tried to help you these past five years. To compensate for what I didn’t do your whole life. Maybe I need to do more. Faster. I have little time left, Gabriel.”
At that, Gabriel turned to look at him sharply.
