Did he explain how to find proof of the world’s existence? She wished she had paid more attention to her philosophy professor, but frankly, the subject had bored her. Maybe she would be able to find one of his works in Dale’s library. Getting up from the bench, she headed back to the house.
Time to prove if she was living a fantasy.
CHAPTER 29 - Cogito, ergo sum
DALE SAW HER ENTERthe house with a determined stride. Olivia never idly strolled, as other ladies did, with mincing steps and affected mannerisms. She walked with purpose, with sure and efficient movements that were still somehow deeply feminine and sensual. She looked like she had a mission to accomplish, and he found himself reluctantly curious. What could she be up to now?
Would she accept his proposal? They had agreed to talk in the evening, and he intended to give her until then to think about his offer on her own. But now he regretted that decision. He was sure the more she thought about it, the more ludicrous the idea was going to seem. He wanted to go to her now.
He looked down at the page in front of him, unable to make sense of anything, focus on anything other than the alluring woman living in his house. Would she accept? Reject? Either scenario terrified him in its own way, for his desire to marry her was as intense as his fear.
If she accepted and chose to have a marriage in name only, would he be able to keep to himself? Or if she wanted a genuine marriage... he closed his eyes as a wave of pure desire washed over him, leaving him hard and aching. He pushed at his erection with consternation.
He had thought that with abstinence, desire would die. That if he deprived himself long enough of the pleasures of the flesh, the cravings would, in time, disappear. After all, monks lived without it. It seemed to work. Until Olivia appeared. Now he understood why monks lived in monasteries secluded from the rest of the world and the temptation of women.
Temptation. That was the key. As long as he remained removed from temptation, he could bear it. But abstinence did not prepare one for dealing with constant and unavoidable temptation. Just the opposite. He felt like a volcano about to erupt. All the years of celibacy had created a craving, a hunger, frightening in its intensity. He wanted to devour her...
No. He had to take it easy. Let her set the limits. He could do that, right? Or maybe he was deceiving himself. He had abstained for good reasons. But now, as soon as a desirable female crossed his path, he was willing to throw all reason away and give in to his cravings.
Was this all about desire and sexual frustration, then? No. He dared not name it, but he felt its pull on him. And it frightened him. He had already lost so much.
A noise in the room next door brought his attention outward again. It appeared Olivia was in the library. Another noise, a thud, followed by a loud crash and a curse. He was out of his chair and crossing towards the connecting door to the library in an instant.
Olivia lay on the floor, her skirts thrown up by the petticoats, exposing her legs. Her very naked legs. She didn’t wear stockings and only the merest excuse for pantalets. Books lay scattered around her, and a small table had been knocked over. For a few seconds, his bewildered mind swirled with arousal, laughter, and concern, each emotion fighting for control.
His gentlemanly manners finally asserted themselves and concern won. He stood over her and extended his hand to help her up.
With only the faintest shadow of laughter in his voice, he asked. “Are you alright, Livvy?”
She seemed quite annoyed and a bit embarrassed by her mishap, but she didn’t appear to have suffered any major damage from the fall. She took his hand and got her skirts under control to stand.
“I’m fine, thank you. It is just these damned skirts. I don’t know how women can go about in them. I feel like a bull in a china shop. They are too wide. I keep bumping into stuff.”
He said nothing, but his lips twitched as he kept trying not to laugh.
“I was reaching to get to a book, and accidentally knocked over the table with this ridiculous hump in my backside.” She said, patting the bustle over her behind. “I tried to save the vase and lost my balance instead. And you saw the rest; I ended up on the floor like an upside-down turtle struggling to get on my feet while these stupid skirts kept getting in the way.”
