Dale grabbed hold of Livvy’s suitcase, and they walked to the storage shed where the car was. Everyone climbed inside. Livvy took the wheel, Dale sat next to her in the passenger seat, and Dariux and Kalli sat in the back. After everyone was settled, Livvy started the engine, and as quietly as possible, with the lights off, they lumbered toward the ruins.
They got there just as the first light of the sun was illuminating the eastern horizon. Dariux set to prepare the equipment for departure inside the car while they waited outside. Livvy was strung tighter than a bow. Her nerves seemed to twang and cause tremors throughout her body. She was chilled. A chill, she realized, that had nothing to do with the temperature outside. It came from within. She stood mute and motionless, incapable of making conversation or even moving too much for fear of shattering.
Kalli was to her right, saying something about the ruins, but she couldn’t make sense of the words. Conversation was too much of an effort for her anguished brain. She allowed Kalli and Dale to carry the conversation while she drowned in her own pain.
***
“THESE RUINS ARE STILLstanding in my time. Isn’t that amazing? Do you know how old they are?” Kalli asked, turning to Dale.
The brittle cheerfulness in her tone was irritating. Dale shrugged. How could he be expected to care about the age of these old ruins while his heart was being minced inside him? But politeness forced him to reply.
“The original castle is over a thousand years old.”
“Is that so?” Kalli persisted. “How fascinating. I knew it was old, but I did not realize how much. Do you know anything about its history? I must admit I’m fascinated. I’ve always lived near these ruins. Sometimes I visit this place to walk through them and think about bygone eras and how the castle must have been in its heyday. I think it’s what sparked my interest in time travel. But in my time, nobody knows about the history of this place. Nobody cares either. So it’s been a mystery.”
Dale sighed. It seemed he would have to talk about the damn ruins, whether he wanted or not. In a monotone voice, he recited the history he had learned by heart as a child.
“The castle has been damaged and rebuilt several times. The last time was in the sixteenth century, when it was attacked during the dissolution of monasteries. Subsequently, the family lost favor with the crown, so the castle was abandoned. It was not until some fifty years later that the next Duke of Avondale returned, intending to rebuild. But by then, the castle had fallen to ruin, and it was not worth rebuilding. He built the Hall instead. For which I am grateful, as these old castles are notoriously drafty and gloomy. In contrast, the hall is so much more comfortable and modern. So, the castle has lain in ruins for three hundred years or so.”
Now that he thought about it, the similarities between the old castle and himself were striking. How many times could a life be destroyed until it was not worth rebuilding?
“Fascinating.” Kalli said, running her hand over the old stones. “I will forever look at it with new eyes, now that I know a little about its history. I wish I could stay longer. Find out more. Not only about this, but also about so many other subjects from our past that my society seems to have purposely forgotten.”
Dale nodded distractedly. He didn’t give a fig about these old stones. His complete attention fixed on Livvy, standing a few feet away, hugging herself and rubbing her arms as if cold. He was afraid to touch her. Afraid he was going to break down completely. Goodbyes were hell. He went to her anyway because he couldn’t stand not to.
Opening his greatcoat, he pulled her close against his chest and enfolded her in his warmth. She came unresisting, wrapping her arms about him and burying her face in his chest. She was trembling slightly, and he wasn’t sure it was from the cold. They stood there motionless and silent until Dariux said they were ready. His body locked up, unwilling to let go of her, and he sensed her tremors increased.
Only by exercising extreme discipline, he forced his arms to loosen and stepped away from her. She looked up for one moment and her eyes were so lost, she seemed to be in a trance.
“Goodbye, Livvy. Be happy.”
Her chin trembled, but she said nothing. He guessed she couldn’t. She turned away, ran to the car, and launched herself in.
The next few moments passed in an instant. So fast it was almost anticlimactic. Dariux and Kalli also got inside the car, and a few moments later, there was a bright explosion of light. The car disappeared, taking with it the woman he loved.
His legs gave out, and he fell to his knees. Stoicism could only carry you so far, and he had reached his limit. Once again, he had been abandoned by the woman he loved. He wouldn’t have thought possible to hurt more than he did when he lost Eloise. But this was indeed worse.
Livvy was gone forever. The years stretched out in front of him, empty and meaningless. Just duty and loneliness. He threw himself face up on the grass and stared at the sky. If only he could vanish like the cloud floating overhead. Or die right here and now and become one with the earth. What was the point of living anymore?
