My friend blew me a kiss and shook her head. “Nope. I’m going home to grab a change of clothes, a shower then come back to pick her up.”
I sighed, nodded and closed the door. When I walked her into the living room, Grim grinned at Ellie and offered her his seat.
“I’m going to give you a chance to talk,” Grim said. “It’s good to see you, Ellie.”
“Good to see you, too.”
Grim left us alone and my heart immediately tied itself into a knot.
“Do you want something to drink?” I asked her.
“No…I’m here trying to save what we’ve built in the short time I had you back.” Ellie lifted her chin. “I’m not perfect. I’ve always put my foot in my mouth and my little disasters seem so much bigger with you. But Tarek, I don’t want to lose you again. I’m desperately hanging on for dear life and I know I should tell my father about—”
“You haven’t told him yet?”
“Not yet.” She sniffled. “He said he wanted a little bit to digest mom’s death before I spring more on him. He’s been through a lot.”
I nodded.
“Tarek, please, I miss you.”
I closed my eyes. “And I miss you too but…”
“No. No buts.” She shook her head. “Please…I know what I want now. I know fighting for you can’t mean I do whatever I want. This fight will be different. I’ll be different—better. I don’t want to live without you, Tarek. I’ll face your mother and Malik and Jesse and my father—I’ll do it all because I think you’re worth it.”
She wiped her nose.
Seeing her cry broke my heart. I turned from her to face the window. At some point throughout all the madness I’d fallen in love with her. How could I walk away? How could I give up on that?
“Tarek?”
I turned my head to look at her over my shoulder.
“I don’t want to give up on us,” she said. “But if this is it, can I ask you one favour?”
The words I wanted to put out in the universe withered away in my throat. My heart raced and my mouth was dry. “Okay.” I managed.
“Make love to me.”
I closed my eyes tightly, fighting the emotions raging through every part of me. I wanted to take her up on her offer. It took everything in me to remain standing where I was and not go for her.
“Please…”
“Ellie, you don’t know what you’re asking.”
She pressed a palm to my back, and I trembled.
“I know what I want—I knowwhoI want.” She sighed. “I know seeing me hurts you. I know it makes you angry, but I guess—damn, I’m doing it again, aren’t? I should go.”
She ran for the door, but I reached out and caught her arm. “Doing what?”
“I didn’t think this through—coming here, I mean.” Her voice trembled. “I didn’t think how it would make you feel and I’m sorry. I keep doing the absolute wrong things.”
Ellie tried tugging away from me, but I used the momentum to pull her into me. I cradled the side of her head to hold her against me and to cuddle her chin into my neck.
My mind and my heart battled. My head figured I should know better than to ever get close to Ellie again. My heart, on the other hand, wanted more of her, wanted her to pledge to stand by my side for as long as we both lived. They battled so hard a migraine began pulsing in the back of my skull.
I bowed my head into her hair, inhaling her scent.
