“Of course, it is.” She insisted.
“You don’t have to do that.” I told him, rising and taking the plates from his hands. “I need to stand anyway.”
“So, can I help?” Hannah asked.
“I don’t think anyone can help.” I stacked the plates into the sink.
Taz went off to answer a call and Hannah and I continued filling the dishwasher. I explained the entire thing to her and in the end she whistled.
“Yeah,” I said.
“Well, I’m not going to make any excuses for her.” Hannah sighed. “But maybe she is telling the truth and after you were gone, she didn’t see the point. It’s probably the coward’s way out—easier to just move on.”
“It hurts, Hannah.” I admitted. “It hurts knowing I allowed myself to fall for her and I still have this blemish over my head.”
“Did she say why she did it?”
“She said she was jealous of me with another girl—if she couldn’t have me no one else could.” I frowned. “I should be flattered she wanted me so much to do something stupid. And sure, no harm, no foul. But one person thinking I’m a rapist is…”
“How about you tell him?”
“I’m don’t want to be in the same room as that man.” I told her. “I would snap and wring his little neck. Thanks for trying, Hannah. But I’m going to move on with my life. I’m going to work on getting Otis so she and her brother can move on.”
“You’re just going to walk away from that boy?”
“Yes and no.”
Hannah cocked a hip. “Explain that one to me.”
“I’ll be there for Lilo if he calls and need someone to have his back.” I told her while closing the dishwasher and starting it. We sat at the table and Hannah filled a glass with juice. “Other than that, I’ll be staying out of the way.”
“You’re saying there’s nothing she can do to make this right.”
“I don’t know.” I levelled my eyes on her. “Can I be honest?”
Hannah nodded. “Of course.”
“I want her.” I admitted to her. “I want her so bad. And it’s not just physically. But I can’t allow myself to go there again with her. Men don’t usually say this, but I deserve good. At this point in my life, I deserve a woman who will love me as much as I love her. I need her to want me—my heart, my body…I want her to look at me the way you look at Taz.”
Hannah’s cheeks pinkened.
“Sorry.”
“No.” Hannah’s voice cracked. “It’s okay. The truth is, I love that fool with all my heart. Everyone wants that. What you have to do now, is think about this entire thing. Think if you can overlook this mistake—this mountain. If you can’t, put yourself out of your misery and have that talk with her. If you can, you still need to talk to her.”
I sighed.
Hannah reached across to hold my hand. “Listen, life is short. And when you do the kind of work you do every day it becomes even shorter. You will need to love faster, love harder, love stronger.”
I leaned forward and kissed her cheek. “Thanks.”
“I’m going to go see where Taz went off to.” Hannah rose, patted my shoulder and went searching.
Her words swirled in my head, all night, the next morning and all through my day. Even after I said goodbye to Taz and Hannah for their drive back to Eagle Rocks, I was still not sure what I would be doing about Ellie. I gathered my shield and gun and left my house to meet Grim to question Jeffrey Sargent.
The moment Grim climbed into the front seat of my sports car, he began staring at me. His stare was hot and unnerving.
“You’ve been quiet,” he said. “Ellie is going to be alright. I saw her this morning.”
