“How so?”
“It’s still going to be hell on your body.”
I laughed. “Maybe you’re right. But I’m not remotely good at anything else.”
“You were an amazing musician.”
“You remember that?”
“Yeah, of course.” She finished her food and eased the plate away from her. “I remember standing at the side of the stage listening to you belt out Dashboard Confessional. All the girls were watching you.”
“They were?”
“Of course!” She sipped from her wine. “They all had eyes for you. They especially wanted you because you were Malik Jonas’ kid brother.”
“That took a while for people to actually accept. Malik didn’t give a damn. He kept right on telling people I was his baby brother.”
“He loved you then. He loves you now.”
I smiled. “I know.”
“Are we going to talk about it?” Ellie asked.
“About what?”
“What happened between us.” She told me. “About earlier…”
I leaned back in my seat and leveled my stare on her. “Okay. Let’s talk about it.”
Ellie turned the entire glass of wine to her head and didn’t lower it until the wine was gone. She then closed her eyes and inhaled deeply. When she opened her eyes again, Ellie had herself together.
“I’ve had a thing for you since high school.” Ellie spoke softly, slowly. “Granted, I didn’t go about it the right way. I didn’t know how to approach you without embarrassing myself and I never meant to hurt you at all. But now here we are, and you’ve—well, for the lack of a better word, fucked me, and I want it to mean something.”
“What exactly do you want it to mean?”
Ellie’s shoulders rose and fell. “I’m hoping it means we can at least try being more to each other. I’d like you to ask me out—on a date…or is that pushing my luck?”
I laughed. “It’s not pushing your luck.” I leaned forward. “Listen, Ellie, I want to believe you’ve changed. I can’t do the games and the bullshit. I want a woman who will want me for what I can bring to the table and love me for me. If you can’t do that, or you can’t grow to do that, then this will not work. I will give you everything…”
“I don’t want everything—I don’t want money or materialistic things.”
“I didn’t mean those either.” I explained to her.
“So, we’re on the same page.”
We talked a little longer and soon crawled into bed. For the first time, we shared a bed together for the night. I pulled her into my arms and kissed her head.
“Sleep.”
She sighed and snuggled into my side.
We didn’t speak. There was something about the moment we were in that would be tainted if we’d added words. She kissed my bare chest and shifted until her ear was over my heart. Eventually, she dozed off, but I remained awake. Somewhere along the short journey we’d started the day Taz brought her back into my world, my feelings for her had switched.
I’d fought it, tried telling myself she wouldn’t change. But mom was right. If she was lying and was the same person as before, then I would be hurt but I would have my family to lean on. If she was changed, I would be missing out on happiness because I refused to walk into whatever were doing with an open mind.
Malik believed I didn’t want to settle down and have a family. Of course, I did. Spending the rest of my life alone wasn’t a good thing. The fear of finding another woman like Ellie had been terrified me. I didn’t want to take the chance.
At some point, I managed to sleep but I was up again first thing the next morning. Ellie was still cuddled into my side, a leg tossed possessively across my thighs. I smiled but my bladder was screaming at me.
