CHAPTER
ONE
"And you're sure you can't make it home for the holidays?" My mom's perfectly curated face fills up the entire screen of my laptop.
"I'm sure, Mom, it's too busy. My clients are all over the place this time of year, and I think Henry might be too old to be boarded with all those young dogs." The big, lazy black lab in question presses against the side of my leg upon hearing his name, though he can’t be bothered to look up from where he naps on the rug.
"Yes, but I sort of thought… with you being your own boss now and all…" She pouts, a practiced motion she deploys—successfully—on my dad all the time. Her long brown hair is a mirror image of mine, though I’m certain she’d never be caught dead withbangs.No, I’m the bargain-bin version of her perfection. The same blue eyes and freckles, just set in a rounder face and chubbier body. Her makeup is more precisely applied, and Botox has made sure she’s wrinkle-free, whereas at thirty-one, even with a skincare routine, I’m starting to see the start of lines. “Sue-lite” that’s me, except, you know, double her weight.
"If she said she can't, she can't, Sue," my aforementioned father chimes in from the background.He leans over so I can see him, using a towel to dry a glass, and smiles. "We're just going to miss you, Muffin. We know how much you love the holidays."
I fidget with a rough spot on my thumb, hoping they can’t see the movement below the screen. The last thing I need is a reminder to not pick. "I do, I do. And I promise, if I could make it work, I would. Maybe next year things will be a little more solidified, less hectic and I'll be able to get away."
"If you're sure," my mom says, with a final moue. "But if at the last minute you think you'll be available, just hop on a plane, okay?"
"Deal. I love you guys."
"Love you too!"
"Love you! Be safe!"
Be safe. The eternal refrain from my father’s lips… and one I'll have zero trouble with, considering I can barely bring myself to bring in the groceries from my porch. I close my laptop and shuffle from my living room into my kitchen—Henry barely acknowledges me leaving—to make some hot cocoa.
Would Iliketo go home for the holidays? Sure. I don’t want to be alone, but my parents live in Salt Lake, and getting to them requires a trip down to Boston and then a plane flight after.
The last time I went into the city ended with me mugged, my identity stolen, and now, an acute fear of leaving my house.
Itrynot to be frustrated at myself. Sarah, my therapist from when I was a teenager, always harped on about how all feelings are valid and that I need to “feel my shit.” But when that shit is keeping me from celebrating my favorite time of the year with my favorite people, it’s hard not to get annoyed at myself.
Ping!
My watch lets me know that I’ve got another message,and I purse my lips, playing my favorite game: Which client needs me right now?
Elizabeth has a mountain of applications to get through this week, and her kid has a soccer tournament this weekend; Melissa is trying to create a new team from the ground up. Fae—last I heard from her—was locking herself in her room until the draft of her book was done, and Emme has a major collab with influencers coming out tomorrow. Almostallof them are traveling for the holidays, but most aren’t leaving for another week or two. My best guess at this point is that it’s Liz, and that she had an issue with the workflow I set up for her to wade through the applicants.
I flick up to open my phone and raise my eyebrows. It seems Fae has emerged from her writing cave.
F: DID YOU KNOW CHRISTMAS IS IN TWENTY DAYS????
F: I swear, every member of my family has new babies, partners, or puppies this year. Can you get me gift ideas for:
F: Two newborns, boy and girl. Boy family is pretty crunchy, girl family are big nerds.
A college-aged guy, I think he plays lacrosse?
Late twenties woman, here’s her socials @mariainthecity2486
A mini poodle
A: I’m on it. Do you have college kid’s name so I can dosome research?
F: Yeah, Brian Banks?
A: Thanks, do you want to approve or just have me buy?
I’ve learned over the years that sometimes Fae just wants things done, other times, she wants to do them herself, and so it’s always best to ask. Being a virtual assistant was something I sort of fell into, but now that I’m my own boss working exclusively for women entrepreneurs, I wouldn’t change it for anything. My clients are boss-ass-bitches to a woman, and helping them balance their work, life, children, friends, and partners is an honor. It’s super stressful sometimes, but always a privilege. I’m good at what I do, I get to work from home, and now, I’ve bought my little cabin in the New Hampshire woods. My closest neighbor is nearly a mile away, and because of satellite internet, I don’t even have a digital delay.
F: How about you just buy? Can you have them shipped gift-wrapped to my sisters?
