As soon as I was in the safety of my room, I collapsed on the floor, panting heavily.What on earth just happened?Even more concerning was how much I wanted it. The feel of him, the honest vulnerability. I had never been so attracted to him. But he was right; I could never belong to anyone. I belonged to my people and this land; I was responsible for every living and deceased soul. I would serve them and only them until my last breath. That was the oath I had made to myself, alongside the unspoken one that was the real reason I wouldn’t entertain something with anyone, not just him. Vengeance consumed me, and until I experienced Sebastian’s death in reality and not just on the pages of theOracle, my desires didn’t matter. They were distractions. His hands would be a pleasant diversion, but not something I could truly bask in.
Six
While packing for the trip, I was consumed by my thoughts. As if sensing my mental battle, Cain came swooping through my window, seeping back into his human form. It took a moment for the black smoke to dissipate as he stepped towards me, relaying his findings with a note.
Nothing new. Demir is en route. He is going a different way, so we won’t see him along the border. I heard whispers of us detouring to the battlefield stalemate. That information has not leaked to the other side as of yet, but I can’t be sure when that news will reach them. The Forest Fae and Wiccans remain strong in their support and allegiance.
Cain truly was remarkable. He was probably the only one I couldn’t hide anything from. He was also completely loyal in a way that did not complicate things, unlike Visarous’s loyalty, which was dipped in something more.
Over the years Cain had been a friend during the tough nights when I craved warmth or an emotional outlet. Visarous had been the opposite of Cain, holding my body instead of my heart through those nights. I couldn’t ever let any one person be both.
‘I expect you to follow us on this trip to provide dailyreports. Notify me if Visarous is planning to do anything insane—he seems more unhinged than usual.’
He nodded then took flight.
The night airwas sharp in my lungs as I made my way to the stables, first stopping by my personal armoury to collect my sword. I had sent it to be polished in preparation for the ball, as it had remnants of blood from some executions earlier in the week. I have never felt safer than when it was strapped to my body or held in my hand. When I arrived at the stables, Viv and Sienna were adjusting their saddles. A carriage had been sent ahead of us to the Academy, containing everything I would need for the ball, which meant I could pack light for the trek there. Visarous came out of the stables, avoiding my eyes, leading his white horse that matched his own ice white hair. My beast was solid black, with a coat that glistened in the sunlight like diamonds. She was all muscle—incredibly fast and agile. There was no better creature in any realm. I had many people over the years from every realm try to buy her from me, but she was truly irreplaceable. I called her Vixen. She understood what I wanted before the thought even entered my mind; she could sense my needs and I trusted her instincts. I would never ride into battle without her. She was an extension of me.
We spent the morning hours riding in silence to the border. I caught sight of Cain soaring above us from time to time. While Visarous and Sienna rode on ahead Viv and I hung back.
‘What’s going on with you? I know you said the panic was back but you’ve been off for a while. I’m worried. You know you can tell me anything,’ Viv said. I couldn’t help but clench my teeth and grip my reins tighter. She was one of my oldest confidants, but the idea of her wanting to truly know me to any degree made my skin crawl. It was fear; it had always been fear that lanced at my skin like this.
‘Don’t. I don’t need your pity. I’m fine.’ Staring ahead, I refused to engage in the conversation any further.
She laughed in response. ‘When have I ever pitied you? Did Sienna make you truly lose your mind when she tried to treat you? Remind me not to have her heal my mind if its only result is that it makes you stupid.’
I stopped my horse in its tracks and just as she was about to walk past mine I drew my sword and levelled it against her abdomen. ‘Remember your place Vivianna. I may be your friend, but I am first and foremost your Queen. It is not your job to question me and it is definitely not your job to insult me. Speak to me like that one more time and I will cut out your tongue.’
She looked at me and smirked, pushing the blade away with her fingers, not caring if she were to cut herself. ‘That’s exactly my job. I am one of your council members; my job is to advise, push and prod to get you to where you need to be. Don’t like it, then tough shit. You should have picked someone meek and agreeable. You knew what you signed up for when you chose me. You once told me that it was my sense of justice that made you want me as your master of war. That sense of justice—of what is right and what is wrong—comes from a place of deep caring. I care for people, for who they are in their entirety. I even care about your difficult, painful and annoying self. You don’t want to tell me? That’s fine. But don’t pull rank on me out of fear after all this time when you have told everyone in your council that rank does not matter behind closed doors.’
‘Well, we’re not behind closed doors, are we? We’re out in the open, so be careful what you say and how you say it,’ I responded, sheathing my sword and walking on. She let out a laugh and muttered something under her breath, but I no longer cared as I became lost in thought over the brutal honesty Viv had just displayed. I have always valued my people being honest with me. The flame told me when those around me were lying and I could count on my inner circle to tell me the truth. Although I kept my walls up, I had known each and every one ofthem for most of my life, and I cared about them more than most.
By the time we reached the border, it was midday. Everyone parted as we made our way through, some dropping to their knees in reverence. Viv immediately left to get status reports from her generals, while Sienna went to check in with the Wiccans and the injured. Cain went to consult his sources and the Forest Fae, who were keeping watch and scouting the surrounding area. This left Visarous and me alone in the main tent of the encampment. I read all the latest reports that were on my table as the fire crackled in the centre of the tent. Someone had lit it in preparation for the cold night ahead.
Visarous stood off to the side, tracing his fingers in a bowl of water, trying to connect to the spirit realm while mumbling incoherent ancient prayers I did not quite understand. I had seen him do this time and time again when he was agonising over a decision. He prayed to the gods and the spirits for their intercession. Once he was done, he looked at me and continued to stare until I had enough and put my scroll down, sighing in exasperation. Whatever insight he had been seeking, he found.
‘What?’ I barked.
He almost flinched at the venom in my voice. ‘Tell me you don’t want me,’ he breathed, looking at me with such intensity and sincerity that something throbbed inside of me.A physical yearning, nothing more, I told myself.
‘Not this again… I want you like a bitch in heat, Visarous. You are nothing special,’ I spat.
I had thought the words would wound him; instead, he got a sinister glint in his eyes. Walking across the tent, he moved behind my chair and stopped at my back. Before I could tip my head back to look at him, he slid his fingers down and across my neck before gripping it lightly. I instinctively let out a slight moan. Taking that as an invitation, he leaned down and kissed me, drawing in my lower lip. I slipped my hands into the back of his hair, grasping for him. He moaned in anticipation as he feltme give in to his touch before I yanked his hair so hard that he yelled out in pain. Standing with his hair tightly wound in my fingers, I slammed his head into the table, pinning him underneath me. His nose took the brunt of the hit as blood gushed all over my reports.
‘Fucking hell, Skylar, you could have said no! Was that really necessary?!’ he shouted.
I raised an eyebrow at him sarcastically.Of course it was necessary. He had already crossed a line and obviously didn’t plan on listening to any boundaries I set. Before I could respond, Viv and Cain entered the tent. Cain took one look at Visarous and rushed to my side, sliding in between us as I let Visarous go and stepped away. It was pointless, as Visarous stormed out of the tent the moment I released him, clearly humiliated and angry.
Cain slipped a note into my hand before shifting into a heavy flow of black smoke as he took flight after Visarous. Viv looked at me, an internal battle raging behind her eyes. She sighed, pulling up a seat at the desk I had just used to break her brother’s nose. ‘He finally did it, didn’t he? He told you how he felt, but judging by the blood, I’m guessing he tried to show you instead. You were never one to appreciate uninvited advances, especially given Zoe’s history,’ she said, shaking her head.
I was momentarily taken aback; I had thought she didn’t know about the cat and mouse game I had been skirting around with her brother or the history between us, but she was more attuned than I had given her credit for.
She couldn’t help but laugh at my slightly stupefied face. ‘He’s my brother, Sky. You don’t think I didn’t notice his feelings for you at the Academy… how he looked at you? Or how you would tease him a little too much?’
‘I’m done talking about this, Viv. I’m exhausted and I have a long night ahead of me, and your brother and his feelings are the last thing I need to be concerning myself with.’ Opening the paper Cain had given me, I didn’t spare her another glance, effectively shutting down that topic of conversation.
I will keep an eye on him and keep him away. Do what needs to be done and be safe my Queen.
Viv didn’t bring up her brother again after Cain left us. The conversation turned to our plans to send a message to the Morgadian King while his men slept at night. Viv tried her best to rein me in, thinking my suggested approach was too brutal and dramatic, but I was frustrated in more ways than one and craved an outlet. Viv was the complete opposite of me; she steadily worked in silence and always took the quieter approach to things. Her patience gave way to an incredibly strategic mind, while I opted for making statements and taking immediate action. If I did anything, I did it loudly. Realising it was a losing battle, she went to inform our generals of the rough timeline so they would be prepared for any backlash in the morning.
