‘Tell me about him, Viv. Tell me everything I should have been willing to hear before,’ I nudged. She stared at me in shock; I don’t believe she had ever seen me this way. I suppose this is what they called growth.
‘He’s amazing, Sky, unlike his family. He has a heart of gold and cares deeply for everyone. It started off as a friendship, but quickly it became so much more. Every time he looked at me with those blue eyes, I felt like I saw nothing but the truth of his feelings. There were never any games. He didn’t care about sides or class; he just wanted me for who I was. His own father and mother accepted me when you sent me there—that’s how much they trusted and respected his judgement. Lejla, your Zauvek’s ex, was less than thrilled, but he put me first, protected me. Not his blood. He has continued to choose me time and time again, and I won’t take that for granted. I love him, Sky. I don’t know what that means for the future or for our roles, but he won’t make me choose between you and him. He’s already promised to walk away from his birthright if it comes between the two. I hope you can be happy for me with time.’ A sad but genuine smile took hold of my face as I listened to her ramble, trying to convince me it wasn’t all bad.
‘I am happy for you, Viv; that’s exactly what you deserve. I realised something while you were away, though. I’m not somuch angry at you as I am with myself. Viv, I’m jealous of what you have.’
She scoffed at that confession. ‘What do you mean? You have a Zauvek! What I have with Acheron is nothing compared to that bond.’
I laughed. ‘You can’t possibly be serious. That can never be anything. I’m going to have to find a way to break the bond—there’s too much history. I’ll never have something built on trust, the way you do with Acheron. All these feelings I’m having aren’t even real, they’re just brought on by the bond.’
‘So, you do have feelings then?’ she probed.
‘Gods, you’re incorrigible. I can’t talk about this with you anymore’ I laughed the first genuine laugh that escaped me in some time.
We spent hours talking, catching up on her time away and how her prince had won us an ally, until she began to yawn and needed rest from her journey back. I walked the halls aimlessly until I found myself in the library. Cain’s words about considering giving up theOraclereplayed in my mind. I truly didn’t know if I could. The book had been in the royal bloodline for generations; I would be shattering something sacred by getting rid of it.
Each step toward that underground chamber where it lay felt heavy. I had not made my decision, but it was as though the universe had already decided for me; it felt like a death march. The dragons on the door seemed faded, and the room was colder when I stepped in. I felt as though I was dreaming; nothing felt right.
‘Tell me what to do,’ I pleaded as I opened the book. Black smoke shot up from the pages and filled every inch of the room until no light from the blue flames was visible any longer. I could barely breathe; the air was laced so thickly with the substance. I felt it then—the panic rearing its nasty head. It was as though the darkness of the smoke had transported me to the darkest recesses of my mind, where nothing but fear resided. I bracedagainst the dais that held theOracle, trying to stop myself from fully succumbing to it and falling to the floor. I gasped for air as my limbs grew weak and prickled with energy.
My hand reached for the pages, trying to grasp for something to hold onto and pull myself out of the panic, but instead, a hand clasped over mine, pulling me around the dais and into a warm embrace. Immediately, my nerves began to settle as the smoke started to clear. My nails dug themselves deeper into his flesh, not wanting to let go of the calm that was slowly taking over me. I needed it like I needed air.
Once the ringing in my ears faded, I felt as though I could open my eyes, and when I did, all I saw was Demir enveloping me in his embrace.
‘I can’t fucking to do this anymore,’ he whispered under his breath.
‘Do what?’ I asked, slowly pulling myself back but not letting go. He was surprised that I had registered what he said.
‘You. I can’t watch you in pain. I had sat here telling myself—telling you—I want nothing to do with this, giving you the space you so desperately craved. But when I see you like this, something in me breaks, and I need to fix it—fix you.’
I couldn’t help the laughter that erupted from me. ‘Nothing and no one can fix me, princeling,’ I said, pushing him off me. The gall of him. I knew I was broken, but it wasn’t a bad thing. I liked who I had to become. At least I thought I did. Before he could say another word, I turned, returning to theOracle.
The images wouldn’t settle on the pages; they were a swirl of colour mixed with letters floating around that spelled nothing. I slammed my fist onto the book and screamed. Demir moved towards me, but I stepped back; instead, his hand fell onto the corner of the book, and instantly the pictures became clear.
I lay on the floor, dead next to Demir in the Ancient Forest. The Morgadian army slaughtering my army and allies. It was our defeat. I turned the page, and it showed me the same image. I turned it again and again and again and the image remained thesame, no matter what I asked it to show me. Nothing I did could stop this. A brutal, shrill scream escaped me as I flung the book across the room. When Demir came once more to soothe me, I pounded his chest, sobbing, screaming and breaking. Everything was for nothing. I would lose them all. I have worked so hard to see Sebastian die, theOraclehad been so certain on that future until Demir changed everything.
Through the bond, I could hear Demir humming a comforting tune in his mind as he allowed me to release every emotion I needed to feel. Eventually, my voice broke to the point where I couldn’t make another sound. I all but collapsed in his arms as he carried me back to my room.
Thirty-Eight
At some point, it had turned to night. Once in my room Demir drew me a hot bath as I laid almost lifeless on the bed.
‘Cain. Get me Cain,’ I whispered.
‘No,’ Demir almost shouted. ‘You need me. You might not want me, but I don’t give a fuck anymore. I’m done denying this whateverthisis, even if you are hell bent on doing so. I know my truth. Whether these feelings are real or fake to you doesn’t matter anymore—your body responds to me, and your mind needs me. I feel whole when I’m with you, and right now, that’s what you need to feel too. Let me be there for you, Princess.’ His finger trailed up my leg and the side of my body, and I felt warmth blossom within me under his touch. He was right; the bond between us created a comfort from him that I needed when I felt so empty.
I had no energy for words; instead, I nodded my acceptance. He carried me to the bath and placed me in the hot water after removing my clothes. I noticed his hands linger a little too long on my bare skin. Shutting my eyes, I sank deeper into the water. Before I could register what was happening, he stepped into thebath, naked, and pulled me onto his lap, wrapping his arms around me. I was ready to object, but I heard him whisper to me in his mind.
Don’t overthink it.
So that’s what I did, sinking deeper into his arms, completely enveloping myself in warmth. I felt something hard and long pressing against my back, but I refused to acknowledge it. Who knew I could even get him hard given our history? Some part of me deep down careened in satisfaction at this, and as the energy started to pool back into my bones, I couldn’t help but tease him slightly by adjusting my body against him until I felt a groan escape him. He tried to cover it with a cough but failed miserably.
At some point, I had fallen asleep in the bath, and when the sun rose I found myself in my bed, freshly applied ointment on my shoulder, lying clothed next to Demir. He didn’t leave me; he took care of me and stayed. It felt right in a way nothing ever had. He was peaceful like this, and without thinking, I brushed some of his messy brown hair from his face. He stirred, nuzzling into the palm of my hand. Opening his honey-coloured eyes, he pressed a kiss to my fingers.
‘Do it again,’ I said. For a brief moment, he was confused, but he pulled my hand to his lips and placed a gentle kiss on the back of it once more. Something in my chest clenched as his lips left my skin. ‘Again.’
He obliged, kissing the inside of my wrist.
‘Again.’
