‘What are you doing here so late? I thought you had run off to bed. Don’t you think it’s unwise to be here in the dark, surrounded by so many enemies?’ Demir said, leaning against the shelf in front of me with his arms crossed and a wicked grin on his face.
‘I don’t answer to you and I can take care of myself, princeling,’ I said, walking around him. Just as I walked past, our shoulders grazed each other.
Ruhi, I heard him say in an almost desperate and torn voice in my mind. I stopped. Not understanding what he was saying. Wanting to know more, I grabbed his hand. Demir looked at me in utter disbelief. I had never, in the years I’d known him, ever held his hand, but then I heard it—his voice once more.
Does she know?
Not wanting to give anything away and happy to look unhinged, I grabbed his other hand, holding them both in front of me. He was confused, but there was pain in his features, and it wasn’t from me. My grip was featherlight, yet he didn’t pull away.
Why does it have to be her? It can’t be her. The gods sure know how to play some sick fucking jokes. This can’t happen.
Demir threw my hands off of him. ‘Do not ever touch me again,’ he said through gritted teeth before storming off. Tonight could not have ended in a more confusing manner.
I walked the empty halls back to my room as the storm set in for the night; rain poured in a soothing rhythm as exhaustion settled into my bones. By the time I arrived back at my room, Viv and Visarous were well and truly asleep, with the morning only a few hours away. I would deal with them tomorrow. Though there was only one way to deal with Viv.
Eleven
The next morning, I awoke before Viv and Visarous stirred. I had barely slept, but at this point, I would rather deal with being exhausted than have any of the conversations that needed to be had with either of them. I decided to walk the grounds; it had always brought me a sense of calm to stroll amongst the early morning fog when even the birds were still sleeping. Anytime my mind was in knots while at the Academy, I would either walk amongst the trees or fight on a field. They were my outlets aside from Visarous. The trees were old and weathered, yet strong. The descent down the mountain to the edge of the wards was quick; I had not realised how fast I had been walking away from my problems. Stepping past the wards, I found myself back on my land. Although it had rained all night and the air was cold, I stripped off my boots and relished the damp grass beneath my toes. Cain emerged from a nearby tree, smoke surrounding him in mid-flight as he landed on his feet. Whatever he saw on my face made him visibly worried.
He handed me a piece of parchment.
What’s wrong, you look dreadful? Are you okay?What do you need from me?
Rolling my eyes at his comment about my appearance, I joked, ‘I’m never okay, you should know that by now. Demir is tracking your movements in his lands. He knows what you look like when you take the form of your birds. It’s not worth the risk; send your people into his lands from now on.’ He held up his hand to protest but I cut him off, ‘That’s an order. I cannot—I will not lose you Cain.’
The words on the parchment shifted.It is my role to serve you, I would pay any price to do so but why do you sound so desperate?
I couldn’t help but sigh; I was desperate.
‘You know what you mean to me, Cain—what you all mean. I might not show it or ever actually say it, but I couldn’t function without you. I’ve lost too much. I can’t lose you too and have it be my fault. I don’t know how much more of this I can survive. I’m breaking. Viv… Did you know about Viv and Prince Acheron?’ His eyes widened in surprise at the news. ‘She’s in love with him. I don’t know what to do. How do I trust her after this? She is sleeping with our enemy. A realm that has stood on the sidelines and watched us be butchered for decades. I feel sick over this… Hang on, why didn’t you know? It is your job to know these things—know what can harm me and the crown.’ Cain took his solemn duty as my Master of Secrets more seriously than any other person I knew, perhaps even more than I did myself. He kneeled on the grass before me, his black pants soaking up the damp from the ground.
The words on the note changed once again conveying his thoughts to me.
I am truly sorry, my Queen. I failed you. I didn’t know, but I will find out everything that I can. You will not lose me save for the day you decide you no longer want me by your side. I will make this right. As for what to do, use the flame that burns within you—question her and let it sing the truth. Only then can you decide how to proceed.
I hesitated briefly before placing my hand on his shoulder. Although we were by ourselves, anyone could stumble across us, but he needed the reassurance. A sign of my trust in him, anacknowledgement that he had not failed me yet, and that there was time to rectify this. I knew how deeply this would hurt him; I didn’t need to add to his burden and self-loathing.
‘How is Sienna?’ I asked.
Well, the wounded are healing and are being transported to the city. There have been no more attacks since the bloody message you left in their camp. Tensions have flared at the border, but the enemy is scared.
I don’t believe word has reached Demir yet of what you did to the general, but it likely will today, so be prepared. He had Everett send fives messages out of the grounds last night, but we were unable to intercept. My whispers are saying none are of importance and it was merely a ruse to stretch out resources. I will find out everything I missed, I swear to you.
Before I could say anything else, he morphed in front of me and took flight. The shame of this failure was too much for him. He couldn’t look at me and I understood. Cain had always seen me as a saviour of sorts, the person who had pulled him from a life where he wasn’t welcome and given him a place where he belonged and was valued. He had never taken my disappointment well.
Back in the room, Visarous and Viv were dressed—he in his usual flowing pants and silver tunic, while she wore her typical fighting leathers. Where mine were black as night, hers were a deep burgundy. Day two of this alumni affair was Duelling Day, a time when people could find an outlet and confront those with whom they had quarrels. Now that we were no longer students, the wards were eased slightly, and we could bring our opponents to within an inch of death, but they would not allow us to strike the killing blow. This allowed blood to be spilled in a way that wouldn’t cause the deaths of thousands on the battlefield but would act as a healthy outlet for disputes. They were both uncomfortable at my arrival; the tension in the room was evident. They eyed my bare, muddied feet quizzically, but right now I felt like I was on the edge, and I needed to feel the cold stone beneath me to ground myself.
‘Visarous, place one of the chairs in the center of the room.’ He looked at me curiously but obeyed. His anger from last night, which I still had to unravel, was nowhere to be seen. I drew my sword from its sheath and poised it in the air, directed at Viv.
‘Sit,’ I said as anger pooled in her eyes. She saw what I was doing as a betrayal because I had promised not to use my gifts on my council members after their initial vetting. However, she had betrayed me first, and this needed to be done. Visarous looked panicked as his eyes darted between us, obviously having missed last night’s revelation. ‘Now!’ I shouted.
‘Explain,’ is all I said as I called to the eternal flame within my veins. I felt it thrumming beneath my skin in anticipation. She eyed my sword, then looked at me, hurt taking over her features, but she knew there was no other way out of this.
‘As I said last night, Acheron and I began seeing each other at the Academy the year your father became ill and passed. I didn’t intend to hide it from you, but you were so broken that I couldn’t come to you with this news. Once you moved forward through your grief, the pain morphed into anger—unlike anything I’d seen in you before. You hated the world for taking your father, and that hate spread like a disease until everyone became your enemy, even those that had never spoken out against you?—’
I cut her off, rage filling my mind. Anyone who is a friend of our enemies is an enemy themselves. Acheron did not have to be the one to snap Jahnah’s neck, but his father and his people were complicit in their silence as our borders were sieged day in and day out. if he loved you as you claim to love him, why did he do nothing to stop harm from befalling you and your people? I snapped. She opened her mouth to speak again but quickly closed it, unable to answer that for herself. Visarous was staring at Vivianna with an unreadable expression. I couldn’t tell if this was the first time he was hearing any of this or if he had known all along. Cain hadn’t, but these two were siblings.
‘Acheron doesn’t want war, please believe me,’ she pleaded,but the flame seared my flesh and bones with such heat that I knew she was lying.
