Dear god, I would love to know how those stubbles feel when they rub my skin raw.
No, Eliane, keep your head straight. You were talking about signets. And besides, what gods am I praying to? As far as I know, we have none.
“So you think I shouldn’t try it? You think I will lose control?” I quiz him, eyes tingling, but somewhere I feel kind of disappointed because of the fact he thinks I can’t do it. Just like he can read my mind, what he probably can and is doing at this moment, he responds.
“No, you should definitely try,” he answers, rubbing his temples as he walks to his side of the bed. “But I do think you should ask Fintan for help.” I nod my head in agreement. I shift so I face the door of the bathroom, my back pointing towards Braxton.
“Scared to see me change at once? Like you haven’t seen a man change before,” he huffs out, a low and raspy chuckle escaping his throat. Apparently, he keeps forgetting I have been locked away my whole life.
“I definitely have, duh,” I answer way too quickly. My voice is high and pitched and my ears must be as red as a tomato. I can feel his gaze scan me.
“Hmm,” he breathes out in a confused sound, like he found something very funny but doesn’t want to share the joke with me. I give him a small peek over my shoulder. His dimples are on the display, and he pulls the boxer up, his V lines still visible. His eyes meet mine and he has the courage to smirk at me. I turn my head as fast as I can, feeling like a kid who was caught taking candy out of the candy shop without paying first. I put the books away and crawl under the blankets in the warm bed.
Even after living with my da for over 16 years, he is kind of hard to find when you need him. After brooding over the thing Braxton told me, I thought it was smart to finally ask Da about it. I spot his broad shoulders in the sparring room, and the brownskin and tattoos visible beneath his shirt confirm it’s him. I take a shaky breath. What if he thinks it’s too dangerous? The one thing he fears most is me losing control. But when he sees me walking toward him, his expression softens like rainbows and unicorns. “Hi, Goldie, what’s up?” He smiles, opening his arms inviting me for one of those tight, warm, and cozy hugs he gives. I can feel my face radiating worry. He narrows his eyes at me, waiting for me to speak up. “Da,” I start.
“I need you to teach me how to use my signet with my emotions as source and fierce.” He gives me a comforting squeeze in my shoulders.
“I thought you would never ask.” He smiles weakly.
“Wait,” I start, stepping out of his grip, looking up at him. “You’re not mad or going into defense why I shouldn’t do it?” My mouth opens, and my jaw hangs to the floor.
“No, silly,” he smiles, “I am scared, but you’re eighteen years old and if you come to me about it, it means you thought about it carefully. Doing dangerous things isn’t bad, you just need to see the possible consequences first. And I think you do,” he explains, his voice softer than normal. His eyes shine glossy and his expression changes to something he doesn’t show on a daily basis. “I am really proud of you, Goldie,” he whispers.
He is proud of me.
I always know he is, but hearing those words does some crazy things to my guts. He wraps his arm around me, making me feel more confident by the second. “Let the training begin,” he announces, swallowing hard like he isn’t sure the correct words are leaving his lips.
“Let’s finally make you the fierce and weapon you’re meant to be.”
Chapter 20
Braxton
“In the second trial you and your partner will have to take something from another candidate that they value the most. Whether you want to do this alone or together is up to you,” my brother informs all of us. Yesterday we watched the recordings of the first trial, and now we’re standing in the garden again while being informed over the second trial. At least we’re not being dropped into the forest at midnight, without receiving a clue on forehand about what to expect again. “The leaders of all cities and villages will collect votes and according to the votes there will be a winner of this round,” he continues. “You and your partner can start when the clock hits 00:00. When you are done, you are expected back at the palace. You will have 48 hours. If you find nothing, you’re out. If you’re too late, you’re out.” Some candidates stiffen at his words. I am not sure why my brother has to do these speeches instead of the king. Maybe he volunteered to? He doesn’t look like he wants to be here. I hear Kailey clear her throat.
“How do we know which candidate we have to take something from?” she speaks up. She is very petite, but has all the qualities a leader should have.
“You will find out yourself,” my brother answers stiffly, his voice still stuck in his throat. I turn to see Hazel, and she looks at my brother with smiling eyes.
She is in way too deep—I don’t even want to know how.
Stupid love. It makes you soft.
An irritating voice fills my ears.
“When do I get my hint?” the snake hisses.
My brother narrows his eyes, not giving her the empathy she wants.
“You and Aiden will find the hint,” he answers, his head held high, emphasizing Aiden’s name. “If you’re lucky,” he whispers, but I know he does it loud enough so she can hear. I don’t talk to him anymore, but it is clear to me he doesn’t like her as well.
“Can we leave now? I need to fix my hair. I don’t want to look like a fucked-up person tomorrow,” Gwen sneers, apparently very aware of the video her eyes and all the others take. Caleb and I turn our heads fast towards her. His eyes stand on fire, and I assume mine are as well. She has her hand close to her face as she studies her nails. “What?” She looks at me and Caleb like she is some innocent child, blinking her eyelashes.
“You’re so lucky the king isn’t here, or you would be down in the dungeons for speaking against royalty,” I snap. She acts like my reaction doesn’t bother her, but I see the hesitation in her eyes, doubting if she should react. I turn around and stroll away, needing to find some peace, the urge for some silence in my mind.
I take a shower first and stroll towards my hiding cabin after.
“What are you doing here?” I snap, my voice way harsher than I mean to sound. Eliane lounges on my couch in the cabin, herlegs crossed, her hand flipping through the pages of one of her many books. Her eyes widen, tracking my gaze. I find her in my mind and feel her thoughts. Guilt trembles through her.
