“Ready to throw a door in my face?”he teases. Is he ever talking without being a jerk or a flirt? He really has to learn how to deal with his emotions in a healthy way.
“One of you is going to get in the other’s mind while the other tries to get them out,” Da interrupts. I smirk at Braxton.
“Well, since you’re already in mine should I try to block you out first?”I ask politely. The corners of his mouth twitch and I shiver. He has this naughty look in his eyes like he isn’t going to make this easy on me, like he shouldn’t. But in some way his teasing annoys me. This boy really tries to get under my skin.
“I am surprised you didn’t start already.” He smirks. I close my eyes and try to not think about the handsome face standing in front of me.“Stop thinking about the fact you think I amhandsome, or I am going to tell everyone,”he teases. I feel the blush rise. How did he even hear that? I did only think that and did not try to say that to him. “You have to stop blushing or everyone will think we’re philandering with each other.”I feel the shame and anger rise. How could a few words make me feel so out of balance and offended. I press my eyes harder together and tried to find his presence in my head. I picture the waterfall in the forest next to Da and my house. It is the first thing that my mind thinks of. I sit in the tree staring over the magical lake. I jump off it and steady myself on the ground, straightening my back. And then I feel him. A dark cloud enters the open space between the tree and covers the sun. I feel Braxton coming closer and it confirms for me that the cloud is the thing I need to fight. I focus on the sun. It is my signet after all.
It does not move at all, and I don’t feel the usual tingle.
Shit. I am in my mind after all. I can’t use my signet the same. My focus shifts and I try to push the cloud away. I push hard. It feels like my brain is going to explode. My heart rings in my ears and in my head I scream. I close my eyes in my head and push harder. A warm feeling covers my arms. I feel the sun appear on my skin again. Taking a shaky breath, I carefully open my eyes, realizing he tried to get me frustrated so pushing him away would be easier.
The cloud is gone, there are no gaps in my wall anymore.
And despite the birds and wind I hear in my head, I feel silence.
My whole life I have been locked away, building my walls and living with one person and my own thoughts only.
But I never hated being alone with my thoughts more.
Chapter 11
Braxton
The last few days have existed out of training our signets, dealing with our bonds and lots of sparring. Oh, and drawing.
When we had to learn how to block each other I immediately found my place of comfort. Without putting in too much effort, I shifted towards my hiding house in our garden. The door burst open and I could feel Eliane’s presence right there. Streams of light shone through the open door and windows.
To block her out I need to close the door and all the curtains. Her light and presence is so comfortable that the first few times it cost me all my willpower to slam the door and lower the curtains. It feels like a door you need to close in a heavy storm, except this is all in your mind. I check my walls every now and then, making sure they’re still up. Even when they are up for everybody else, Eliane can sneak in and I really have to push her out. I literally have to slam a door in her face. Without her in my mind it feels empty, maybe even a bit lonely. A feeling I was so used to before, but now I know how it feels with her in it, I would never go back to how it was. So I let her light shimmer softly and dull in the dark room my mind represents.
I follow the line of people into the auditorium , not looking up as the crowd cheers for us. I take the same seat as before, right next to Eliane. The room falls silent as footsteps echo on the stage and a guard opens the door. Behind him, the king walks in, raising his arms to command the crowd to cheer. Everybody goes wild as Eliane and I sit quietly in our chairs. I notice her tapping her foot again, zoning out, like the noise is a trigger for her. I kick her softly with my foot. She looks at me in surprise and her eyes go from surprise to realizing why I kicked her. She gives me a nod and a gloomy smile. Zephron steps from behind the king, making a royal bow, as the king his smile spreads wider on his face.
I hate it.
“Tomorrow the trials will begin!” the king announces with no further welcoming or introduction. The crowd who is sitting behind us doesn’t seem to care and starts cheering all over again, like the dumb little puppets the king expects them to be.
“What the candidates did not know is that we have been following them all week,” he continues waving his hand to calm the puppets down. I ball my fist. It is something we could have expected of course. But at some moments you don’t realize everything you see and do is being recorded. “We of course have some opinions about what happened, but we are not going to tell all of you just yet. I gathered all of you here to prepare you for tonight. At 8 p.m. there will be a parting dance.” His gaze wanders off to the ten of us sitting in the front row. “Your servants will help you with what you have to wear. You are expected there. If you don’t show, there will be consequences,” he explains, his voice and eyes sharpening at the words. “After midnight, the first day of the trials will start. How and what will happen, I will not tell you but be ready.” The crowd goes wild, but all the candidates remain quiet. I get up, give a nod and get the hell out there. I let the tingle rush to my hands and the doorsways open. I have to get the fuck out of there or my rage will take me over. I will not let that happen, ever again. When I am finally outside, I stop, run my hands through my hair and spin around, dropping my mouth in shock.
Apparently, I am not the only one who wanted to get out of there. Behind me are standing nine other candidates, looking at me like I know what I am doing. Kailey steps up, showing her bravery, the bravery that sums her up as the person she is.
“So what do we do next?” she asks me, like I know what I am doing. I shrug my head. I have no fucking clue. I didn’t mean for them to all follow me nor did I try to make it look like a statement. Fingers pet my arm, leaving goosebumps everywhere, making every hair stand up straight on my body. My eyes trace the print that her fingers leave on my skin. Eliane steps in front of me.
“We get ready, we don’t show them our emotions. And remember, even though we might not all like each other, we are in this together.” she expresses, taking the lead and lifting her chin up. Eyes wide and I hear some murmurs.
“I am here for myself, and I will be in the trials too,” someone whispers. Kailey seems to notice too.
“Well, if you’re here for yourself only and want to kill us, why did you follow him outside, huh?” she hisses, nodding her head at me. Aaliyah bites her tongue and turns around, not saying one more of her poisonous words. We might hurt each other there, but power and honor do strange things to one’s mind. I give Kailey a nod in agreement, turn around and stamp away.
A black suit lays down on my side of the bed. A huff escapes my throat. It is clear what they want to display me as. Eliane is sitting on the bed reading one of her many books. Most of the time she reads modern fantasy or romance books, but she also seems to read a lot of historical, literal books about Drimyé,written in the old cursive. It isn’t a complete different language, some words are different, and the cursive is hard to read. I want to ask about it, but don’t want to make a big deal of something that isn’t. I don’t want her to think that I care. She just packed a backpack, even after I tried to explain to her that we don’t know if we can take anything. She is now giving me the silent treatment, again. I pull my shirt off in one movement, throwing it on the ground. I drop my pants and turn around, ass facing Eliane. My underwear goes next, making place for some fresh ones. Eliane has seen me top les lots of times now and never mentioned my scars. As long as she doesn’t ask about it, I don’t care if she sees them.
“Do you have a thing for showing your ass?” she interrupts me. I shrug the smile appearing on my face away.
“I keep doing it to make you more comfortable showing yours, but it doesn’t seem to work, does it?”I smirk. Looking over my shoulder, I watch her face turn red, gaze going immediately towards her book.
“Oh Honey, the book is upside down.”I smirk at her, pointing my finger at the book. She twists the book around, covering her face behind the pages, her ears even redder than her face. The door crashes open, making my gaze turn away from Eliane. A brunette stares at my body in shock.
“Oh sorry, Braxton, I didn’t know you were here too,” Annie squeaks.
“You know this is my room too, right?” I answer.
