But of course, he’d traveled through dangerous territory just to bring me this stack of scribbles. He probably didn’t even know what they were.
I did. And while I was relieved Melaena had gotten rid of the incriminating letters, they would do little good out here. Ruru’s presence was far more valuable. Tomorrow, I would ask him how he survived on his own, having never been outside of Aquinon before.
“He can take the extra bed in our lodge,” Maz said.
I nodded and helped Ruru get to his feet.
“Maz. Whistler,” he mumbled, pointing in the general direction of his bags. Then he slumped against me.
Kiera shored up Ruru’s other side, his boots in her other hand, while Maz dove for the unopened saddlebag.
He dug out his shiny whistler and a handful of darts, beaming. “Fucking Four, Ruru, how did you get all this out of Aquinon?”
Ruru’s head simply lolled in answer.
“Tomorrow,” I told Maz.
Kiera and I half-carried Ruru to the lodge I shared with Maz. I hesitated at the threshold, wary of bringing Kiera into our sleeping quarters. Neither Maz nor I had taken the time to do anything other than dump our gear.
But then I remembered she used to share a tiny apartment with us in Aquinon.
I pushed through the heavy fur curtain that served as a door and kicked aside boots, clothes, and weapons to clear us a path to the small bed against the far wall.
We draped Ruru across it, laying his head on the thin pillow. I covered him with blankets while Kiera tucked his boots next to the bed.
Then we stood and stared at him as if neither of us could truly believe he was here.
“He must’ve suffered so much,” Kiera whispered. “There was no food or water left in those bags.”
I glanced down at her. Her shoulder brushed mine, and I missed her with a sudden, fierce ache that rushed through my veins.
“Perhaps he only made it this far because of the extra coins you gave him,” I whispered.
Her sad amber eyes were like a fist to my chest. “They were never mine to begin with. I sacrificed nothing to give him those coins.”
“But you did it because you loved him, and that may have kept him on this side of the Abyss.”
“Why are you trying to defend me against myself? Why do you care after everything else I’ve done?”
Unable to resist, I cupped her jaw in my hand. Her eyes fluttered closed.
“I don’t know,” I said, my voice low and rough. “Perhaps because when I get a glimpse of the woman I... admired, it makes me feel like I wasn’t completely wrong about her. That maybe her other life was a lie, and her real one was in that apartment with the three of us. With me.”
“Aiden,” she whispered, swaying closer to me.
I swallowed hard, grazing my thumb on her cheek. “Like when you said you were glad your father was dead. I didn’t realize?—”
Kiera jerked out of my grasp. “My father? Did you think I was ignorant enough to still care for that murderer? Just like you think I’ll happily become Renwell’s puppet again?”
“No,gods damn it.” I shoved my empty hands through my hair. How did we get into a fight every time we spoke to each other? “The way you talked about my attempt on Weylin’s life made me think you hated me for it. Even if I couldn’t finish the job in the end.”
She froze, her eyebrows pinching together. “What do you mean? If I hadn’t interrupted, you wouldn’t have killed him?”
“I wanted to. But then I saw your eyes in his and realized I didn’t want to be the man who took both your parents from you.”
Kiera inhaled sharply. Her eyes bounced back and forth between mine. I wanted to know what she saw. An enemy? An ally? Someone she wished she’d never met?
I’d seen her as all three. And more.
