“I should go to them,” I murmured. But my feet wouldn’t move.
Kiera stared at me, her face a battlefield of emotions. Something must have happened in this square. I could almost feel her mind racing.
I wanted to demand the words she bit back. I wanted to be free of this agonizing pull toward the woman who’d lied to me and used me.
I wantedher.
But that was never going to happen. So, I turned my back on her and walked away.
Chapter 16
Kiera
I didn’t rememberhow I’d gotten here.
One minute I’d been handing out bottles of medicine and mead and bandaging wounds, the next I was here—curled up next to a discarded basket of clothes. Staring at Arduen’s Mountain. The beautiful white snow. The many pinpricks of light that someone told me were the fireflowers glowing before they died tomorrow night.
It all looked so pure and untouched. So unlike the charred, broken village behind me.
I’d busied myself the moment Aiden had walked away. The relief I’d felt to see him alive and standing had nearly shattered me in a way I was too exhausted to understand. We stood on a narrow precipice, him and me. One small push and we would lose each other forever.
I’d watched him comfort Maz and his sisters from afar. My heart ached for them, but I felt like an intruder. Davka had spoken one word to me in the few weeks we’d known each other, and she’d protected me in a battle I wouldn’t have survived without better warriors like herself.
But Maz had sought me out, anyway. He came up behind me while I was sponging blood from an old woman’s forehead and wrapped his huge, sweaty arms around me.
“Thank you, lovely,” he’d murmured. “I know you did everything you could for her. And Yarina as well. Like you did for me.”
I’d turned and buried my face in his chest and finally released the sob I’d been holding back.
“I wish it’d been enough,” I whispered raggedly.
“If you gave it your all, then you gave enough.” He hugged me tighter as a few of his tears dripped into my gnarled hair.
After a few moments, we’d parted ways.
Soon after, little Camilla and her cousin Brodney found me. Camilla had raced forward and wrapped her skinny arms around my legs. My small smile cracked the dried blood on my cheek, but it was worth it.
Brodney informed me they’d tied Nikella’s horse with the others so it wouldn’t wander off. I thanked him and directed the pair to where they could find a bowl of soup and a blanket.
And now I was here, an ant before the mountain. Alone under the cold stars. Nothing but pain for company.
Except the footsteps headed toward me. I didn’t look over as Nikella settled down next to me.
“How’d you find me?” I asked hoarsely. Gods, when was the last time I had a sip of water?
“Aiden.” Of course. He always knew, didn’t he.
Nikella set a few things on the grass. “He said you haven’t taken care of your wounds.”
“Others had worse.”
“They’re taken care of. Now it’s your turn.”
I didn’t bother answering. Just kept staring at the strangely luminous mountain.
Nikella washed my cheek and spread a thick paste on the cut. It made my eyes sting, but I didn’t flinch.
“Any broken bones?” she asked crisply.
