I remembered how quickly Renwell had beheaded Father. He’d claimed it was to prevent my execution, but none of the Wolves would’ve obeyed Father, anyway. They only listened to Renwell because he’d planned it that way.
Just like he’d probably planned to kill Father in that exact moment, regardless if I was there or not.
“I have to try,” I said.
“I know. I’ll have the map ready in a few days.” With that, Nikella stood and left me alone.
I finished my porridge slowly. I should feel grateful that Nikella had agreed to draw a map and hadn’t argued against my leaving. But I simply felt hollow.
Perhaps all of my goodbyes would be this easy.
Chapter 9
Kiera
Five days passedand still no map.
I traded Yarina’s bed for one of my own in a smaller lodge shared with Nikella, who was always asleep when I came to bed and gone by the time I woke.
Frieda agreed to lend me a horse and some supplies for my journey. In return, she put me to work around the camp, patching lodges, cooking meals, drawing water, cleaning dishes, and caring for the horses.
She’d asked me if I hunted, and I said no. Instead, I’d watched Aiden and Maz go out with a small hunting party every day.
Frieda tried to show me how to clean their kills and preserve the hides and meat from the various animals. But all I could see was Korvin carving Maz’s back. When Frieda noticed my pale, shaking hands, she kindly gave me another job tending their small gardens. I was so grateful I hugged her.
I found that I truly enjoyed kneeling in the dirt among the tangle of stems and colorful vegetables. It reminded me of Mother with her flowers.
Even though Frieda kept me busy from dawn until dusk, I still took meals with Maz, Yarina, and Nikella. Jek usually joinedas well, entertaining us with wild stories and even earning a few smiles from Nikella.
Nikella also told stories, but they were of the Four and their time. When she spoke, I finally saw her as the other Teachers I’d known growing up. But this time, I listened more closely.
Children of all ages would follow her, asking her questions. She answered every single one and even taught reading, writing, and counting to the interested ones.
I shared time with nearly every person in camp, except Aiden. I hadn’t spoken to him since the night of the funerals.
Maz always gave excuses for his absence, even when I didn’t ask for any. He said Aiden had already eaten, or he was on watch duty, or a dozen other things. But Maz’s sad smile said he knew Aiden was simply avoiding any space with me in it.
Just as well. If we weren’t talking to each other, then I wouldn’t have to say goodbye.
The idea of saying goodbye to the others pained me more each day. Especially Maz. He was smiling and joking more. He threw himself into tasks to regain his strength. But there was still a shadow of pain in his eyes that I felt responsible for.
I kept asking Nikella if the map was ready, and she’d shake her head and say, “Not yet.” I didn’t know if she was holding off on purpose, or if it was truly taking that long.
A small, cowardly part of my mind was relieved that she was taking her time. I was enjoying this pocket of peace I’d found in the mountain meadow.
Maz said they’d soon paddle north on the Yargoth River for the fireseed harvest on Arduen’s Mountain. It sounded beautiful and exciting, but would also be the perfect moment for me to slip away south. Back home.
The day before we all planned to leave, Frieda asked me to harvest any ripe vegetables so the frost wouldn’t take them while the Yargoths were gone.
I took my basket to the sunny patch of dirt where colorful squash and rows of corn were ready for picking. A few children and older men and women also meandered the rows, filling their baskets.
They chattered among themselves about the upcoming harvest festival. Frieda said they usually celebrated at the foot of Arduen’s Mountain with other clans while several Teachers and appointed Dags collected the fireseeds from the glowing flowers.
In Aquinon, we’d celebrated Terraum—god of the harvest—by dressing up and having grand feasts. All for a bounty from the fields of Pravara that we didn’t grow or harvest.
But here in the warm sunshine and cool air with my fingers plucking each vegetable, I truly felt connected to the earth. I sent up a prayer to Father Terraum that the food I gathered would get the Yargoths through the winter.
A long shadow fell over me. I startled, wondering if I’d accidentally summoned Terraum. But when I looked up, it was no god. Just an angry man who looked like one.
