Aiden’s thumb paused for a moment before continuing to stroke my skin. “I’ve wished for the same thing. A time or two, it was almost a relief that death was going to win over me.”
My heart stilled at the thought of him dying.
“Isn’t that what we all want when we reach the dark Abyss?” he continued, his voice sounding far away. “Someone we love reaching for us on the other side.”
A weak hope kindled in my chest. “Do you truly believe that’s what will happen?”
“Some people close to death have claimed to hear their dead loved ones speaking to them from across the Abyss. Whether that was a wishful memory or a happy truth is a mystery. One we won’t understand until it’s our time to cross.” He squeezed my hand. “But not yet.”
“Not yet,” I whispered.
Especially not when that moment of thinking about my mother was followed by agonizing fear. Fear of losing the life I had. Of being separated from Everett and Delysia. Of being thrown into a furnace and turned to ash.
No, I didn’t just fear death.
I feared disappearing.
So, I fought the darkness, even as it continued to hover around me.
At some point, I drifted off to sleep, and when I woke, it was Ruru’s deep brown eyes that looked down at me.
“Kiera,” he breathed, shoving his dark hair out of his eyes. “Aiden said you woke last night, but I almost didn’t believe it. How do you feel? Do you need water? Sophie sent some broth. You didn’t vomit, did you? Aiden told me?—”
“Hush, Ruru,” I croaked. “Water first.”
He leapt to his feet and retrieved a full cup. I drank it in moments, the cool water like liquid silk over my tongue and throat.
“Where is Aiden?” I asked. “How long was I asleep?”
Ruru jerked a thumb toward the other room. “He’s sleeping. It’s about noon. He woke me a few hours ago and told me and Maz that there must always be someone awake by your side should you need anything. Maz said he’ll be back soon with some of those biscuits you like.” Ruru grinned. “He promises he has a boatload of stories to entertain you with, since Aiden said you can’t move until the paste is done.”
I smiled, my stomach rumbling at the thought of food. My heart warmed at their kindness, even as it whispered a warning against getting too attached.
Not being able to move for two days was daunting. Someone would need to tell Melaena why I was missing rehearsal. I also needed to leave my mark for Renwell as soon as I could slip away. Time was running out. And after two more dead Wolves, I didn’t wanthimto come searching forme.
Over the next two days, Maz and Ruru kept me company, as they promised. Maz regaled me with stories of growing up in Dagriel—about his sisters, his parents, and his clan. Ruru fed me sweet treats from the market and gossip from his messenger duties.
I rarely saw Aiden.
He came in briefly to check my head and my chest, and I caught him sitting with me once when I was sleeping. I wondered if he’d chosen that time on purpose to avoid speaking to me.
When I woke up on the third day, a leather brace lay next to me. It looked just like the one I’d left behind in the palace. This one was also full of knives. Not the knives I’d won, but real,spearheaded throwing knives made of sharpened steel. The hilts molded to my fingers. The weight was perfect.
No one said a word about where they’d come from. But I knew.
Aiden had left my other knives under my cot, but I couldn’t bring myself to look at them anymore. Somehow, he must’ve known.
I strapped the new ones to my waist after he’d announced the clawberry paste had done its job and left.
Someone knocked on the door as I finished tugging on my boots.
“Come in!” I called out.
Ruru burst inside. “Aiden just told me the news! You can move again!”
I laughed as he bounced forward and gave me a ginger hug. “Yes, very exciting.”
“Want to go get breakfast with Sophie? She made apple oatmeal!”
