‘Do not stay up late, make your first day back at the office count.’
His fingers bloodless, Charles climbs the rest of the staircase, where Fred’s puppet smiles seem tinged with concern. He hurtles down the hallway, takes refuge in the museum room and leans against the door to slide the zip of Loris’ jacket up and down, six times.
He’s terrified by the hatred pumping his blood erratically, but it’s his to master and grow braver from. He’s no longer scared of hurting his mother, no longer scared of his father’s laser eyes. He’s still afraid to reckon with the role they played in Fred’s death, but he will get there, by means of confrontations that lower their hold.
He regulates his breathing, gazing atSofia. She remains flawless, indifferent to the rotten foundations of Her adoptive home.
‘I don’t want your sister to move in anymore. You and I, we had no choice, but She deserves better.’
Charles’ heart shrinks, but he inhales it back full. He deserves better too. He’s been accepting better lately.
He grabs his phone. He hasn’t checked his notifications since he texted Loris when he was in the cab.
22:03I picked up your keys. Thank you.
22:04 I hope you survived your day despite the twat who disrupted your night and I hope your grandparents are spoiling you.
22:12 WITH ONE LThey are but here’s my grandad’s idea of a ‘necessary’ present
22:12WITH ONE LEnjoy a recent stupid pic of me
The third message is a full-length photo of a sceptical Loris pulling the bottom corners of the England football shirt he’s sporting.
22:16I’ll frame it and hang it near Sofia.
Charles zooms in on the twinkle in Loris’ eyes and on the vein of his neck – near the spot he claimed ownership of in the morning.
He brushes the screen and sets his mind free to wander.
Sofiahas kept watch over him during countless evenings of reminiscence. The core of tonight’s is a first, but Pavel Olwinski would unquestionably support him.
NINETEEN
18:15Can I please 1. Drink some grenadine? 2. Eat some charcuterie? 3. Flip through your father’s notebook?
18:17 WITH ONE LSure but wash your hands between 2 and 3!
Charles moves away from the kitchenette with the glass of grenadine he prepared before asking for permission. He’s not hungry yet, so he will keep the cured meat for later with a quiche from the deli. And for dessert, he will have a piece of pie made by Clare – the cook recently hired by his parents.
He had to go home after work, to collect the clothes he borrowed from Loris and pack an outfit for tomorrow. The smell of caramelised apples lured him into the kitchen, and he negotiated two slices to take away.
He also asked Clare to inform his mother that he will spend the night at Elsy’s.
Will Alice call out this blatant lie, considering she’s aware that Elsy is in Chicago? Or will she lie in turn if Milton enquires after Charles? She did when he skipped his grandfather’s gala, and again last night. But before devoting too much mental energy to comprehend whyshe’s covering for him, Charles wants to check whether she will carry on. Those two instances may have been temporary malfunctions in Alice’s complete loyalty to her husband.
Charles sits on the sofa and opens the leather notebook, relieved to discover that handwriting isn’t always hereditary.
‘Confucius said that everything has beauty but not everyone sees it. Here’s my attempt at looking closer and appreciating better.’
He takes a photo of this first page and sends it to Loris.
18:20I might plagiarise your father in my own work.
18:21 WITH ONE LGo ahead but I want 49% of your royalties
18:21 WITH ONE LI’m open to discussing the form of your payment
Nibbling his smile, Charles cosies up against the pillows and sets his ‘Hampstead vibes’ playlist going.
