She turns sideways, trying to meet his eyes, but Charles gazes fixedly at the bottle display, uncomfortable, annoyed with his friend and annoyed to be annoyed with his friend.
‘Charles, I recovered from seeing a ghost when you appeared in the door frame five minutes ago, so I can answer your questions. Let me help. The concern in George’s voice proved it’s important.’
Charles resumes rotating his tumbler.
He’s neither sober enough nor emotionally ready for puzzle pieces. But he was even less prepared when he walked into the pub, two weeks ago, and he handled it alright.
‘I already got some answers. From Patty.’
‘Patty? North Haven Patty?’
‘Yes. Sheasked about you. I said you run a shelter for teenagers, so she decided to name a cocktail after you. But I don’t think she will, she doesn’t sell cocktails.’
Liv breathes out a laugh. ‘How do you know Patty?’
‘Through somebody who works for her.’
‘I should visit her next time I’m in London. God, I hadn’t thought about her in forever…’ Liv smiles fondly. ‘What did she tell you?’
‘That she paid Fred for his help in Archway. But I have no idea why he needed cash. What were you planning?’
‘We were… Wait, before anything, please know that Fred would have told you. He trusted you. But he didn’t want you to get in trouble in case your father found out you were hiding stuff from him.’
‘I know. Well, no, I didn’t. But I believe that Fred trusted me.’
‘You were the one reason he sometimes questioned our intention to leave. He hated the thought of you, alone in that house, suffering the consequences of a wrath that wasn’t aimed at you.’
‘Leave? Where?’
‘Australia.’
‘Australia…? Why?’
‘Fred loved the idea of being far away, trying to get by on his own. And initially, it wasn’t supposed to be a secret. Fred went to Milton with a presentation about the work visa he wanted to apply for and his different projects once he’d be there. But I don’t think I need to explain your father’s reception…’
‘No.’
‘So we decided to do it anyway, but we had to pay for it ourselves. Our new passports, our plane tickets and a money cushion, because comfort is a hard thing to give up all at once.’
Liv drinks a mouthful of wine while Charles stares intothe amber liquid in his glass, his head spinning like a globe.
It’s pointless to imagine a world Fred lived on the other side of, but he can’t help it.
‘I didn’t want to tell my family until everything was sorted. They wouldn’t have liked that Fred was hiding our plan from your parents. But it was easy for me to put some money aside. I never had to justify what I spent my allowance on or why I worked shifts at a bar. Whereas Milton kept tabs on everything. Fred had to be careful. He started working for Patty and fixing laptops for people at uni. He was also stealing stuff from your home. Ornaments that your parents wouldn’t realise had gone missing and that he could turn into cash. But that part was stressful. The whole thing quickly became very stressful for Fred.’
‘How so?’
‘He was exhausted and distracted from law school. Milton noticed and clamped down on him. Of course Milton noticed. He noticed everything, except for his missing candlesticks. He called out Fred on his driving habits, because he refuelled his car more often, going back and forth to Patty’s. So Fred switched to cycling, which tired him even more. It was gruelling, the scheming and the constant fear of getting caught. Plus all the fights at home. He was living such a nightmare, it scared me, but postponing would have just drawn out the nightmare… Then, a week before Christmas, Heloise, she… You know who I mean?’
‘His girlfriend, yes. Did she know? About you two?’
Since Charles got confirmation that Fred was romantically involved with Liv, he’s been wondering if Heloise was in on the relationship scam, the way Elsy is. If he could feel closer to his brother through their common ‘Kate and William’ ruse. But the guilt on Liv’s face whittles that hope down.
‘No, she didn’t, and I can’t find any excuses for what we did to her, sneaking around behind her back. It was so wrong. I’m very conscious of it now. But back then, I didn’t care. I couldn’t stand her. And Fred was mine.’
The glow in her eyes opens a trench in Charles’ heart.
‘How long had you been together?’
