‘I’m gonna try to keep that up. You coming for a drink?’
‘No, I’m going to the park.’
‘Really? It’s gonna get spooky soon.’
‘I’m used to it and I love spooky.’
As great as he feels in Loris’ company, Charles needs to organise his memories of Fred into storylines before the clouds darken. Before the aura of his home and the narratives of his parents turn his brother back into the perfect son he wasn’t.
‘And you’re fine with being propositioned by men?’
‘Sorry?’
Loris shrugs with an intrigued smile. ‘If you’re a regular in the park when it’s dark, you can’t tell me you’ve never been approached and offered to have casual sex in a bush?’
‘No, I… I have…’
It’s common knowledge that Hampstead Heath becomes a gay cruising ground at night. When Charles goes for a hike in the woods past sundown, he tries to avoid the areas where he’s more likely to be stopped. He prefers not to be interrupted during a rush of inspiration in the one place where they last longer than a couple of minutes.
‘I politely decline and go on my way.’
‘You’re not into that?’
‘No.’ Charles scoffs. ‘Why? Are you?’
‘Not really. I mean… It’s the thought of being disturbed by an army of bats. It’s a bit of a turnoff.’
‘Bats are cool! I wish they approached me more often.’
‘Right… You’re definitely weird. Anyway, I’ve got to go, I can sense Patty’s impatience from here. Enjoy your walk. Don’t get lost!’
‘Thank you.’
Charles will get lost, in order to find himself, but this information is too revealing of his internal chaos to be disclosed.
In the park, he takes a path towards the pastel sunset, striped by the coal-black shapes of the trees. Loris and Pavel Olwinski would make transcendent artworks of this unearthly vision. Charles doesn’t have their gift, but he can try to give it a part in the tale of freedom he wants to write.
NINE
‘This place is terrible for business.’
Charles glances at his friend Spencer, who just slumped onto the next chair. By business, he means the resale of whatever prescription pills he got hold of this week, so Charles doesn’t bother answering. He never had the authority nor the energy to stop Spencer from being a reckless idiot.
As for the place, it’s terrible, full stop. A modern venue turned into a semblance of a ballroom by the son of Someone. From the food to the decoration by way of the posturing guests, everything is overblown. And it’s not just Charles and his borderline-phobic aversion for schmoozefests. His friends Alex and Phil look desperate to escape as well.
They’re sitting across the round table with their girlfriends. Alex is dating his childhood sweetheart. Phil is dating the daughter of the CEO of the trading company he has his eye on for the future – with no certainty that it will bear nepotistic fruit.
George abandoned them to go mingle, and Elsy leapt up when she spotted a man she slept with once. She yanked him outside to ensure that her death threats from back then remain efficient enough to guarantee his silence.
‘How much longer?’ Spencer mumbles.
With a pleading moue, Alex gestures at the staff serving a selection of cakes. He’s addicted to cake. Besides, it would be inappropriate to desert their table before the meal is over, and he can’t afford any more blows to his reputation.
He’s the reason why they’re all here tonight. In seventeen years of friendship with Charles, George, Phil and Spencer, Alex has never shrunk away from an opportunity to assist them. So when he begged them to make an appearance at this talked-about event, they didn’t hesitate.
Alex hopes that being seen in the supportive company of Hampstead’s golden kids will help. His family’s renown is struggling to recover from sordid stories about their pharmaceutical laboratory in Singapore. Accusations of human trafficking have been dismissed in court, but the mudslinging – peppered with racism – continues, because reports of toddlers stored in aquariums remain the most entertaining gossip flying around. And on top of those rumours, his cousin was recently recognised in a drag show in Soho. Milton and Alice, who still held Alex in high esteem, have now instructed Charles to avoid appearances by his side.
They would go ballistic if they knew how publicly he’s standing by his friend tonight. He will start dreading a dinner conversation about it as soon as he escapes the Charland-silencing music playing in this room.
