‘Broke up ages ago, but carried on playing couples because it was somehow convenient.’
Alex scoffs. ‘What?’
Charles gapes, giving Phil the confirmation he didn’t need.
‘Ha!’ He claps his hands and waves his shoulders. ‘I knew it, I knew it, I knew it.’
‘What?’
‘I applaud your perceptiveness, Phil.’ George bows. ‘But you ruined Charles’ diplomatic announcement, whatever he was going to reveal.’
‘What?!’
‘How do you know?’ Charles asks, trying to ignore Alex and his increasingly high-pitched exclamations.
‘Divya’s party last year. You were overacting, it felt like watching a trashy soap opera. So I thought ‘Shit, are they faking?’ but in the end I blamed the booze. Exceptit stuck with me, and from then on I couldn’t unsee it. I had doubts on occasion, but that’s because you’re still shagging. Right? A no-strings-attached sort of thing?’
‘Right…’
‘What?!’ Alex pushes Phil’s legs so bluntly, his ankle knocks a bottle off the table. ‘Last year?’
‘I’m just the observant messenger, don’t take it out on me!’
‘Or on my flat.’
‘You broke up with Elsy last year?!’
Charles tilts his head back with a moan. Planning this conversation was definitely a waste of his morning at work. He’s already facing an unexpected dilemma. Should he outrage Alex even deeper or juggle three different versions of the story in the future?
Luckily, the latter makes him dizzy as soon as he envisions it.
‘No. She dumped me four years ago.’
Alex’s jaw drops and his eyes go round as an owl’s.
‘Elsy was available all this time?!’
‘Spence.’ George tuts. ‘Don’t.’
‘I could have had a shot!’
‘Maybe Elsy lied to make sure you wouldn’t take one.’
‘Shove it! That wasn’t it. Was it?’
Charles brushes off Spencer’s question and wipes a layer of stress-sweat off his neck. ‘You can’t tell anyone, guys.’
‘That you broke up?’
‘Yes! Well, that we broke up now, you can. Not just yet, but it’ll be common knowledge soon. But not that we were pretending to be together. Elsy’s family and friends can’t find out. Apart from Divya. She knows.’
‘I’m confused. Who knew what and since when and what is thereto know exactly?’
George squeezes Spencer’s shoulder. ‘I’ll write everything down for you.’
‘I think we broke Alexander.’
Phil waves his hand in front of Alex’s face and, getting no reaction, he pokes his cheek, which makes him groan.
