Fred was perhaps trying to convey his strength, his regrets and his love, as he was on the brink of flying away and leaving Charles forced to fend for himself. But he didn’t make it clearer that morning. After all, he planned on talking to Charles before his departure. He would have held him with all his strength, his regrets and his love.
Fred would have, he wanted to, but he never did, and Charles started suffocating on the staircase, crushed by the violent arms of the void his brother left behind. He managed to drag himself to his bathroom floor before a sob tore his chest in half, and he didn’t move until the glow of dawn seeped in through the curtains.
‘How come you were uninspired?’ Charles asks, his leather derby shoes sinking into the squishing mud. ‘You no longer need me. You’re just pretending, because you’re addicted to my company.’
‘I’m not! Pretending, I mean.’
Loris bumps their arms together and sways away instantly.
They don’t have to be discreet, they’re far enough away from the main paths, but Loris is careful with physical contact today, as if heguessed that the slightest touch could shatter Charles.
‘Sometimes, a pencil feels like a pencil instead of an extension of my hand, so I’m less comfortable than usual holding it. I’m too aware of the tool and not in control of my strokes. In those cases, it’s safer to stay away from my works in progress. Does that make sense?’
‘It does.’
‘What about your inspiration? Still looking for the right setting?’
‘No, I’m… I’ve… How are your friends?’
‘Charles…’
‘What is everybody up to? Tell me, please.’
Loris looks really alarmed and reluctant to keep on acting like he’s not, but he grants him his wish. ‘Phoebe smashed her exams so she’s in a great mood. Aliah and Andres, business as usual. She curses bratty kids and their parents, and he never curses anything. Hey, are we almost there? Wherever you’re taking me? It looks like the next storm is approaching.’
The wind has picked up and the sky is brooding again, but Charles waves the remark away.
‘They’re shower clouds, we’ll survive. But yes,’ he points to a bench propped against the trunk of an oak, ‘I think we’ve arrived.’
‘You think?’
‘I’m ninety-eight percent sure.’
Loris observes the surroundings, his eyebrows bunched together. ‘It seems quite peaceful and—’
‘Pretty unremarkable, I agree. But your dad chose it, so it’s special.’
‘What?’
‘Based on his diary, this is his spot. Where he thought he’d propose.’
Loris turns around again. ‘Really?’
‘I also checked a second spot the other night, but direction-wise it doesn’t work. So my money is on this bench and—’
‘I mean,really, you found it? You searched for it? At night?’
‘I’m a sucker for spooky treasure hunts.’
‘Okay, I… I followed you convinced nothing could beatSofia, but this? This is—’
‘Look at it, then!’ Charles steps away before Loris can lean forwards. ‘And take your time. My father won’t show up to ruin your moment today.’
Loris catches him by the wrist and pulls him back against his jacket. ‘Thank you.’
‘It wasn’t much of a—’
‘It was. It is. It’s a huge deal, and you know how huge.’
