‘Thank you for this tremendous and heart-warming support, but don’t discount what I said. Don’t you care that being here makes me sick?’
‘I care about ensuring—’
‘Don’t you care that I’m aware Fred died trying to escape you?’
She flinches and straightens up, which seemed improbable given how upright she sat. ‘This is neither true nor—’
‘Stop lying to me! I know! I talked to Liv! And I remember now. I remember who he was. I know you manipulated me so I’d believe he was on his way to becoming Milton Junior! You used the shock I was in to hardwire your fake narratives into my brain and, fuck! What kind of mother does that?’
‘You are blowing things out of proportion. We protected you.’
‘You messed me up! I couldn’t remember the Fred you idolised, and I couldn’t trust what I remembered. I couldn’t trust my own mind!’
‘We wanted you to cherish the memories of the person your brother was before he made wrong choices and lost his way.’
‘Fred didn’t make any wrong choices! He made his own, and that’s something you didn’t want me to think was possible in the Ledwell household! You… You didn’t want me to…’ Charles rubs his temples, where a conclusion he should have come to weeks ago is whirring. ‘That’s why you were both so relieved by my MBA acceptance! You never worried about my “deflated temperament” as he called it! No! You worried that for all your efforts to make me your puppet, I’d still follow in Fred’s footsteps and take control of my life! You’re not proud of me. You’re proud of yourselves for succeeding where at first you spectacularly failed!’
Alice stands up, her skin matching her pearl necklace. ‘You cannot blame me for forestalling history from repeating itself.’
‘But your solution was to take preventive measures against me? You never entertained the possibility that you needed to change? You and the abusive arsehole who shares your bed!’
‘Stop it! Stop that.’
She takes a step forward to grab his hand, but Charles shrinks back.
‘Stop what?’
‘This anger you have been nurturing since Christmas, you need to curb it,’ she urges, panic finally creeping into her tone. ‘Do not declare war on your father. It would change you. You would end up making mistakes because of it, the way Frederick did. Be rational. You are less impulsive than he was. Do not engage.’
‘I want to,’ Charles spits, loathing the stinging in his eyes.
‘It will pass. Until then, spend as much time as you need with your friends. Or with that artist. I will ensure that it isn’t an issue.’
‘It will pass? You think I just need to receive a few extra watches and my weekly dose of praise to forget about what happened?’
‘You are upset. Do not take any rash decisions at the moment. Once you gain some perspective, you will understand that we made the necessary calls to help you live up to your potential. To help you build the future that you dream about. A future that is within reach. Why would you risk jeopardising it by rehashing the past?’
This time, Charles lets her take his hand. He’s gone a bit numb, emptied of the hope for a regretful confession he was naive enough to harbour.
‘The future that I dream about…?’
Alice wrings his fingers, a resurgence of poise in her eyes. ‘Your idea to work this year was brilliant. You are making your mark, as well as useful connections. Once on your MBA, even more doors will open.Furthermore, the next stage of your relationship with Elsy is around the corner. Everything is falling into place for you.’
Charles bites his tongue, tempted to ask if she had weed brownies at teatime but aware it’s pointless. Alice isn’t high. She’s convinced she has his heart all figured out. He’s been too good of a puppet.
He frees himself but gives her a trembling smile while he runs a fast-track analysis of the situation.
As much as he wants to tell his father some home truths, he’s not ready for that confrontation. He’s barely keeping it together in front of Alice’s outrageous reactions, and she doesn’t even scare him. Milton will, no matter how fiercely Charles clings on to Liv’s speech about his father’s lack of actual power. Charles is afraid of two decades of a dynamic that might fluster him to the point of wavering.
He would have snapped when he came back home in the heat of his discoveries, but Alice stopped him, and he’s had too much time to picture the scene since. He doesn’t feel solid enough to hold his ground.
Luckily, Alice will allow him to avoid his father until he musters the courage required. She’s dreading a showdown, terrified that history could end up repeating itself if Milton noticed Charles’ defiance and decided to crack down accordingly.
She’s been using Charles’ anxiety to her advantage for seven years, it’s about time he gives her a taste of her own medicine.
‘It’s true, I just need perspective and to spend time with my friends. Don’t count on me for dinner tonight.’
‘Alright.’
