Hazel: I need your help.
TWENTY
Hazel
I slippedmy phone back into my bag and assessed myself in the mirror. Reid hadn’t responded and it had been almost ten minutes. I had to go back out there, or they’d think something was wrong.
Or maybe they wouldn’t even notice I’d left.
Tonight had been a terrible idea. I should’ve known better. The second I’d arrived at the restaurant, every insecurity I’d ever wrestled with came bubbling to the surface. I gave the host our reservation name, only to find out no one else had shown up yet. A few minutes later, Zoe had texted me to say they were pregaming at Kiara’s and running late. I waited at the front, clinging to the hope they’d still come. But then she texted again: they were canceling dinner and just ordering pizza before heading straight to the bar. She apologized, a lot—but didn’t extend an invite.
I’d strongly debated going home, but the thought of Reid asking me how it went had kept me from fleeing. So I left the restaurant, dragged myself to the cocktail bar we were all supposed to meet at, and sat there alone, eating soggy nachos and feeling every bit as pathetic as I looked.
When the girls finally arrived, the night hadn’t gotten much better.
Thankfully, Zoe had walked in first—already plenty buzzed—and threw her arms around my neck. “It’s so good to see you,” she’d said, hanging on for a second longer than necessary.
I’d returned the hug from my oldest friend and pasted on a smile, trying my best to give the rest of the evening a fair shot. Kiara, Desiree, and Stephanie gave me short, one-armed hugs before we all went to the booth they’d reserved for Zoe’s birthday.
Kiara, Desiree, and Stephanie had always been around in high school. Zoe and I had been thick as thieves, but after she got close with Kiara through field hockey, things were never quite the same. Kiara acted friendly to my face, but the second Zoe left the room, silence always fell between us. She’d find any excuse not to hang out one-on-one. Desiree and Stephanie had gradually glommed on over the next few years, but instead of us being a fivesome, it was more like they were a foursome, and Zoe and I were a completely separate twosome.
It hadn’t exactly felt great, but it wasn’t awful either. I got invited to things. I had a decent social life. But after high school, we all slowly drifted apart. Zoe was the only one I kept in touch with, other than the occasional shallow social media comment. And even my relationship with her had faded once I moved.
Kiara had been out here less than two months, and Zoe was already here for a birthday trip. I told myself maybe I wasn’t pushy enough. Maybe I hadn’t thrown out enough invitations, but deep down I felt stupid. Like even my closest friend didn’t like me all that much.
And now here I was, hiding out in the bathroom while the rest of them did tequila shots at the table. A scene I knew all too well. I dabbed at my eyes, not letting the single tear that fell make it past my cheek.
Still no answer from Reid. I’d hoped he might fake a phone call and give me an excuse to bail early, but his silence pretty much said it all: time to suck it up and get back out there.
Maybe the weird vibes were my fault. Maybe I was just being antisocial.
Before shoving my phone in my bag, I shot off a quick text to Jackson. “We should grab drinks next week.”
He might be overbearing and a total gossip, but his attempts at befriending me seemed genuine. I needed to make more of an effort. Here I was, wallowing in self-pity over being alone, when I was equally as guilty of actively running away from potential friendships.
The music hit me like a wall the second I stepped out of the bathroom—too loud, too bass-heavy, the kind that made it hard to think, let alone talk. The bar was packed, considering it wasn’t a weekend, and the lights were dim except for the occasional flash of neon from the signs behind the counter. It was new and trendy and had a cover charge. Not a place I’d typically go, but it was Kiara’s favorite, apparently.
I steered myself back toward our corner booth, threw on a practiced smile, and slipped into my seat like nothing was wrong.
“Hazel’s back!” Zoe smiled drunkenly at me. She was several drinks deep and I doubted she’d make it much longer. She was at that point where she was on an energetic high, ready to take on the dance floor and bounce around for another hour before completely crashing out and demanding a burrito before falling asleep on the cab ride home. I knew her pattern well.
“You’ve got something on your shirt,” Kiara said, giving me a smile that somehow looked more like a grimace.
“It’s just water,” I said, without looking down. I knew I’d accidentally splashed myself from the sink.
“Oh, good. Thought it was a stain. You’ve always been such a klutz.” I bristled but ignored Kiara’s snide comment. Icaught the way she looked me over, her distaste obvious. The four of them were dressed in tiny, curve-hugging dresses with plunging necklines, practically a uniform. My outfit blended in just fine with the rest of the bar crowd, but apparently it didn’t meet their standards. Whatever. I refused to let them shrink me.
“How’s your new place?” I asked Kiara, hoping I sounded friendly and like I gave a shit.
“Really nice,” she yelled over the music. “It costs, like, a fortune, but thankfully with the new promotion at work I can afford it. I seriously feel like royalty living there. You should see the pool, it’s insane.”
“Sounds great.” My voice was tight. Kiara had always been the type to flash what she had. Just because I expected it, didn’t make it any less grating.
“Where are you at nowadays? By the highway, right?” She spun the straw in her drink before bringing it to her lips.
“Yep.” I took a long sip of my own drink.
This was fun.
