But as I scanned the dark street, it was completely deserted. “Nice try. Speak.”
He scratched the back of his neck, looking uncertain. I’m sure he’d thought that he would be able to charm me with a simple apology and sweet words, but I was more determined than ever not to be won over by him.
“I’ll just get right into it. I’m not here to make excuses,” he started. “I know there is no excuse. But it really was entirely my father’s idea. I didn’t even know what was going on until that first day—just like you.”
“Don’t try to compare our situations.”
He held up his hands. “I’m not. I swear. I just hate you thinking of me as some conniving, manipulative bastard. In reality, I hadn’t wanted to do it at all. I wanted to tell my dad to go fuck himself. But then he dangled my screenplay in front of me. And I thought if I could just get that, if I could just prove myself, then I’d never have to bend to his will again. I’d be free.”
“Congratulations. I’m glad it all worked out for you.” I didn’t bother to mask my hurt.
Resolve flashed across Eli’s face as he took a step toward me. But he retreated when he saw my glare.
“Did Shay tell me to talk to you because it was good for my image? Yes. But once I got in there, I knew I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t fake feelings for someone. And I didn’t want to be my father’s pawn. Then I met you.”
“And I changedeverythingfor you,” I said mockingly.
“Yes,” he replied earnestly.
I sucked in a breath as I felt my defenses waver.
We stood there for a second, his eyes begging me to say something. But I didn’t know what to say. Was I still angry? In theory, yes. But in reality, holding a grudge was exhausting. And I’d have been lying if I’d said that time with Eli hadn’t changed me for the better. Whether the romance had been real, or whether I could ever trust him again, was beside thepoint. I had entered that place broken. And while I hadn’t left completely whole, I had found pieces of myself that I’d thought I’d lost forever.
“How have you been sleeping?” he asked, when I remained silent.
I hated that he was one of the few people who knew me well enough to ask that. Even though my nightmares had never returned, I lay awake in bed for hours most nights. Usually thinking about what could’ve been. What almost was.
“Look,” I finally said, ignoring his question. “I forgive you, okay? I’m assuming that’s why you’re here, for some sort of absolution. Well, I give it to you.”
“I want your forgiveness, but that’s not why I’m here.”
“Oh?” That took me by surprise.
He looked at his shoes and then back up at me. “I’m filming my movie here.”
“In Chicago?” I asked. “I’d have thought you’d be on some big production set in LA.”
“Me too.” He let out a dry laugh. “But I didn’t end up taking my father’s deal. I told him where he could shove it, and ended up scraping together my savings to go the independent route. It’s nothing too fancy, but I have a small crew and I’m excited about it. It’s mine. For once, I’m doing things my way.”
My brain was stuck on the fact that he hadn’t taken his father’s money. After everything, he hadn’t even gone through with it.
“But why here, of all places?” I asked.
“Because you’re here,” he said simply. “I know I messed up. And I know the last thing you want to do is give me another chance, but I couldn’tnotcome out here and try. I should have fought harder for you that last day, but I was hurtthat you didn’t believe me. Stupid, I know. Me being the sensitive one in that situation.”
“Eli. . .”
“Please, just let me finish.” He held up his hand, looking defeated. “I’ve been practicing this speech for weeks now.”
I nodded, my heart twisting with each word.
“Calla, you’re the first good thing that’s ever come into my life. Everything, and I promiseeverything,I ever said to you was the truth. I didn’t fall for you because my father told me to. I fell for you because you believed in me, even when you didn’t know me. You looked out for me when there was nothing in it for you. And when you left that day, I felt like my whole world was ripped away from me. And I’d do anything to get it back.”
I bit the inside of my lip hard, trying desperately to contain my whirling emotions. This was all far too much to handle right now.
“I-I’m sorry, Eli. I really do forgive you. I’ve had a lot of time to reflect on everything. I’m honestly not bitter anymore. But I don’t see how we could ever be together again. When I found out the truth...it broke us.”
“Please—”
