I’m a little embarrassed to admit one of my favorite holiday songs, but what the hell. “If you have Justin Bieber’s ‘Mistletoe,’ that’d be great.”
She chuckles quietly. “All right, I’ll see if we can get that for you. There’s a bin full of Santa suits over there. Find one that fits well enough and put it on. You can use the restroom to remove your other clothes. We’re going to start in a few minutes.”
I nod and go over to the bin. It doesn’t take long to find one that will fit, and I rush off to the bathroom to change. When I return, I chat at the side of the stage with the other three guys who are participating. One man looks as though he’s probably in his seventies, the other might pass for twenty-one, and the third guy appears to be in his late thirties or early forties and has a beer belly on him that would rival the actual Santa Claus’s. I’m pretty sure he’s not using a fake belly like the rest of us.
I thought for sure I’d be nervous, but for whatever reason, I’m not at all. I can be extroverted when I want to be, but I would have thought I’d havesomenerves about stripping in front of strangers. More importantly, Ashley.
Monica returns to the stage, and she looks nervous for some reason.
She taps on the microphone and clears her throat. “Hi, everyone. Before we get started with the Santa Strip Tease, I have an announcement to make. It’s come to my attention that someone mislabeled the eggnog. The punch bowl labeled non-alcoholic is actually the eggnog with alcohol, and vice versa.” She bites her lower lip. “Apologies to everyone. If anyone needs a ride home, both Rick Springer and Ester Layton have volunteered to drive you home safely.”
I laugh. Well, that explains the buzzed feeling I have. I search out Ashley, and her eyes go wide in horror, but then she shrugs it off, making me laugh even harder.
“Now, to get on with the fun stuff. Let the Santa Strip Tease begin! First up, we have Nathan.” She gestures to the side of the stage, and the guy in his early twenties steps up, chest puffing, full of bravado.
If I had to guess, he’s probably been dipping into the alcohol-laden eggnog too. His cheeks are flushed, and his smile wide and proud.
“This one is for all you MILFs out there!” he shouts before the music starts.
“I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus” plays, and the echo of laughter rings throughout the room.
He first removes his Santa hat, then slowly unbuttons his belt. Monica calls for a donation as the song approaches the twenty-second mark, and a woman in her fifties steps up and passes her some cash. It goes on like this until the song ends and Nathan wears only his Santa pants. He didn’t work fast enough to get the entire costume off.
Monica thanks him for his participation, then calls Bob with the big beer belly up onto the stage. Bob doesn’t seem to have any qualms about stripping.
“Santa Baby” plays. He pivots his hips around in a circle, and a very enthusiastic woman steps up in front of the stage, hooting and hollering. I have no idea whether it’s his wife or girlfriend, but she’s clearly going to be the one who donates the most for him.
Bob grins at her and unbuttons his Santa coat. The woman hands Monica money every time the song reaches the twenty-second mark, and the performance threatens to end if there isn’t a donation.
When the song is over, Bob hops off the stage with an agility and grace I didn’t see him having and kisses his biggest fan. The people in the room cheer, but Bob and his woman walk out the doors, the rest of the Santa suit and his clothes forgotten.
Monica turns her attention to me and the old man beside the stage and calls Arthur up. I have to help him up the stairs, but once he’s on the stage, his entire countenance changes as if the crowd’s cheers buoy him.
I’m not familiar with the song, but I think it might be called “Backdoor Santa” based on the lyrics alone, which makes it even funnier watching Arthur slowly remove his clothes to the jazzy tune. The crowd is more into it than any of the other participants thus far. My competitive juices flow, but then I glance into the crowd and see Ashley with her hands over her mouth, laughing hysterically, and I realize that the only person I want to impress is her.
In fact, the more I look at her, the more the realization dawns. I want…her. Ashley. I was an idiot six months ago. She’s nothing like her sister. Now, if they were standing side by side, I wouldn’t look at either of them as being an extension of the other.
The audience’s cheers crescendo, and I blink a few times, dragging my gaze from Ashley to the stage. Arthur has finished his dance and managed to take his entire costume off in the time he had. I never realized how short most Christmas carols are until now.
I help him back down the stairs, my heart thumping since I’m next.
Monica calls me up on stage, introducing me. Finally, the nerves hit me through my boozy brain, and I swallow hard. But when the music starts, I keep my gaze locked on Ashley’s broad smile, and somehow the nerves drift away.
I gyrate my hips as I unbutton the red jacket lined with white fur. Hoots and hollers ring out from the crowd, and I grin. Still, I don’t look around, holding Ashley’s gaze the entire time I undo each button. When my fake belly slips, I pull it out entirely, twirling it over my head and tossing it in her direction. Shecatches it and laughs. Her smile and happiness make me feel like a superhero.
Twenty seconds is way too fast. Monica calls for a donation to be made to continue, and to my surprise, it’s Ester handing Monica some cash to keep me going.
I wiggle the jacket off my shoulders, revealing my bare chest and abs, loving the way Ashley’s gaze zeros in on my six-pack. The night of our date, we didn’t get far enough for her to see me fully. I was still working on undressing her when I acted like an asshole and called it off. Right now, I’ve never despised myself quite so much because if I hadn’t been an idiot and been able to see Ashley for who she was that night, we’d both know what the other looks like naked.
The jacket freefalls to the floor, and the audience roars. My fingers go to my belt, and I work my pants as donations come in every time Monica requests. My pants pool on the floor, and I step out of them, leaving me in my tight, black boxer briefs and a Santa hat.
I motion with my finger for Ashley to step toward the stage, and surprisingly, she comes, never removing her gaze from mine. When she’s close enough, I take the hat off my head and place it on hers.
God, calling her up here was a bad idea. All I want to do is kiss her. Thankfully, the music comes to an end before I’m standing with a hard-on in front of half the town of Mistletoe Falls. The end of the song somehow severs the tie between Ashley and me. We both blink and step back from one another.
Monica thanks all the participants and donors for their time and announces how much money was raised, while I slink off stage and grab my clothes to change into.
When I return to the hall, I bring the Santa costume back to the bin and scan the room for Ashley. She’s still out on the dancefloor, enjoying herself. It’s good to see her let loose, even if it is because she’s been drinking all night without knowing it.
